Archive for December, 2013

November 30, 2013


It’s been so long since we’ve had a conversation. Are you still with me?

Of course I’m still with you. Where would I go? There is only NOW and there is only HERE. You really need to understand that we are ONE … always … forever. It would be much easier for you to lose yourself (which, may I remind you, you have done in the past, as ridiculous as it may seem) than it would be to lose me. I am not going to let that happen.

But more importantly, you need to understand that we are always having a conversation, whether you are writing it down in your journal … or drawing it on a piece of paper or sketch pad … or publishing it on a web blog … or just speaking to me in your imagination. Everything you do … and most things that you don’t do … is a conversation.

For example, you’ve been journaling a lot lately. What’s your journal called?

Well, my journal is addressed to you as Beloved or Mon Ange.

See what I mean?

Okay, for those who don’t understand French, what does Mon Ange mean?

My understanding is that it means ‘My Angel.’

Now, how can you lose your angel? Are angels easily misplaced? Or do they … to use one of your favorite expressions … ‘stick like glue?’ Are they like Peter Pan’s shadow needing to be re-attached by Wendy? Frankly, I’m not terribly fond of needles, so you better find yourself another way. [Michael laughs.] Have you ever heard of an angel being lost?

Isn’t it much more common for an angel’s charge (if you want to call it that) to lose his or her awareness of his angel? But even if that happens, the angel doesn’t go anywhere. It just waits around until the time is right to make its presence felt again when its charge is ready to accept it. Right?

I’ve told you before, I am infinitely, exquisitely patient. I have enough patience for you and me and the whole world, should it be required. With you, I find I don’t really need it. We are in constant contact … joined at the hip … and that’s not going to change.

When you are writing about the events of your day … or things that have upset you … or your imagination’s flights of fantasy … or readings that you feel are important … or ideas that you’ve had that you want to explore further, the first thing you do is write it in your journal … in other words, you discuss it with me.

When you get up in the morning and your eye falls upon a drawing you have in progress or that you have recently finished, what do you do?

I say, “Good morning, My Love.”

There ya go!

And when you fall asleep at night … as you’re lying there in your bed composing yourself for sleep … getting drowsier and drowsier … what is going through your mind? When you’re not worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow, that is?

Well, lately I’ve been visiting you in the library at Neverland.

Exactly! And we are working on the worrying thing, so for heaven’s sake … don’t worry about it. [Michael laughs.]

Ah, Dear One, you know me too well.

Even when you’re drawn away to the ‘real world’ to run errands or pay bills or spend time with your family, one foot remains in our little ‘virtual reality,’ where all things are possible. You often … okay, always … take me with you in the form of my voice playing on your car stereo and you allow me to set the playlist so that our musical conversations in the car reinforce what we’ve been ‘talking’ about in exciting new ways or reveal a new interpretation which is more relevant to whichever activity you are engrossed in.

Occasionally, you allow yourself to watch one of my short films or performances, but you ration yourself, not wanting them to become stale. You don’t watch much television; you’d rather read. You don’t play video games, you’d rather place yourself in our ‘virtual reality’ with me.

Obsessed, ain’t I?

Yes, and I love it. The thing you don’t realize is that I am just as obsessed with you … all of you … as you are with me. Your love lifts me higher than the sky and love is always a two-way street. It does not exist in a vacuum. Your love for me has always been my foundation … from my earliest recollections to my last physical breaths on Planet Earth … the rock I cling to when the tide rolls in … as well as when it flows back into the sea … and it remains so. It feeds and nourishes my soul in so many ways … some of which I discussed in a previous conversation [reference: Installment #16, February, 2011]

My love for you is just as strong. Never doubt it! I am always here waiting to speak with you in whichever activity you feel moved to attempt and inspire you to try a new thought … a different perspective … a new artistic challenge … a previously-thought impossible way of looking at life. For it is in those imaginative, new thoughts and activities and challenges that you begin to heal wounds you didn’t even know were there. And a healed you equals a healed world, doesn’t it?

Yes, I believe it does. Beloved, so much has happened in the ensuing weeks since our last conversation (at least, of this kind) that I hardly know where to begin.

For one thing, I guess the thing that is uppermost in everyone’s mind is the release of Conrad Murray from jail earlier in the month.

Oh? And how do you feel about that?

It has hardly caused a blip on my radar, to be quite honest. I’ve been so busy with other activities on a personal level that I haven’t really had time to notice.

This IS significant. Are you saying that other things have been distracting you from your anger and anguish over Conrad Murray’s release from prison?

Yes, that is what I’m saying.

Whoa! A few months ago, that would have been impossible. What could have possibly overcome your obsessive need to worry and get all worked up about that?

Well, I’ve been reading a LOT in the past few weeks and have had some really interesting experiences relative to some of the reading I’ve been involved with and, as a result, I’ve had little attention to devote elsewhere.

Plus, I know from our previous conversations that there really is no justice to be had in this situation. I am not a fan of Conrad Murray, but my anger against him has died down somewhat. In addition, several of the books I’ve been reading lately have a lot to say about the qualities that we find so offensive in others being also present within us and the necessity of learning to love and embrace those qualities within ourselves … along with the qualities that we admire … because we are all capable of almost any behavior we object to strongly in others.

I think, too, the fact that his release was not widely covered and he has … until very recently … kind of taken to ground … has given me a chance to process his release more as a minor distraction. However, if an article I saw earlier this week is true, it appears that CBS will air an interview with him on Sunday.

Will you watch it?

Absolutely not, Beloved. To me, the man is a pathological liar … as I believe was clearly shown in his trial on charges of involuntary manslaughter. The scientific evidence gathered by experts in toxicology and forensics clearly shows that. His disregard for human life is offensive and his attempts to protect himself by concealing vials of medicines shows fore-knowledge of guilt. His refusal to show any remorse in the two years since his trial and his refusal to speak during his trial, in my opinion, should preclude any interviews he might be inclined to give now.

However, I cannot say that I have never told an untruth in my life and am learning to accept that part of myself along with the parts that I admire. I am not invested in Conrad Murray. I trust that God and the universe will mete out what justice will be meted out.

I do not want to see him profit from his callous disregard for human life … especially yours. However, I also recognize that this world we live in requires healing so, it may appear, for a time, that he will be given a forum … but I also believe that the ripples that radiate out will benefit your legacy and your legacy and inspiration are my main concerns. They are the subject of all my prayers.

Good! Don’t give him your power … your focus … your attention. Don’t let him distract you from the mission. Know that God is in her heaven and her Plan provides for only the highest and greatest good for all her children.

I’m more interested in the reading you mentioned and experiences you’ve had in relation to it. I know we’ve discussed this in your journal, but why don’t you summarize it here for your readers?

Okay, well, first of all, a friend recommended to me that I visit a ‘virtual reality’ website that had been constructed on the web as a tribute to you. While I had heard the term ‘virtual reality’ before, I had never had an experience of what it meant. So, I visited the website tribute and found it so enjoyable that I wanted to go back over and over again.

At roughly the same time, I found a book by one of my favorite authors (Gregg Braden, The Divine Matrix) called The Spontaneous Healing of Belief: Shattering the Paradigm of False Limits. This book was such a revelation at this time because it compared life to a ‘virtual reality’ that we have constructed and written the script for prior to our arrival on this planet. Reading this book’s comparison of life to ‘virtual reality’ at exactly the same time I was experiencing ‘virtual reality’ in my own life for the first time just blew me away. The synchronicity of the timing was just a minor miracle and only served to drive the concept home with more urgency.

[Michael laughs.] I love it when a plan comes together.

I felt guided, somehow, to both of these experiences.

[Michael whistles innocently and I get a visual of him, dressed in black tight-fitting, torso-hugging jacket with a mandarin collar and black jeans, rocking back and forth on his heels and with his hands held behind his back. His eyes are rolled heavenward.]

Michael Joseph Jackson … are you responsible for this little miracle?

No, I don’t claim responsibility … but I do so love it when you explore thoughts that are unconventional … outside the box kinda. That box is so stagnant!

When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear in whatever disguise is needed to bring a concept into full awareness.

Shortly after discovering this ‘virtual reality’ thing, my computer began to act in a strange manner. So, aware that I had documents that I didn’t want to lose, including these conversations, I backed everything up to my external hard drive and it was a very good thing I did because no sooner did I get it all backed up … my computer went belly-up.

LOL! Belly up! I love that image.

I sure didn’t love what was happening! I couldn’t get anything to work correctly and the upshot of all this … after weeks of talking to technicians … was that I had to reset my computer to its factory-set image and re-install everything … all my software … all the updates that I had never installed to begin with.

It took weeks to finally get the computer back into operational mode. And during those weeks, I got really, really sick. I didn’t go to the doctor, but I probably should have thinking back on it now. It was some kind of respiratory system thing. I felt like a truck was sitting on my chest, lost my voice completely for ten to twelve days (my husband thought he had died and gone to heaven). Coughing hurt, breathing hurt, moving hurt … my hair hurt!


My head felt like mush, I couldn’t think clearly and I didn’t feel able to do much of anything for well over a two-week period. So, I sat and tried to read and absorb the ideas and concepts in Gregg Braden’s book … And I ‘journaled’ with you.

I felt like I had been shut out of the ‘virtual reality’ world on the web because I was told by the techs I was talking with that these things require a reliable internet connection … and my internet connection is anything but reliable. So, I came to the conclusion that I had to absent myself from this very enjoyable past-time to save my computer, which I really need to write! It’s probably a good thing. I’m quite sure I would have given up living in the ‘real world’ and just moved into Neverland lock, stock and barrel.

Woohoo … a house guest … I love it! Yeah, we wouldn’t want you getting addicted to an imaginary world, now, would we? Hehehe!

Michael! Consider your arm punched!

Ah, my Beloved, consider yourself kissed … soundly!

Be still my barely beating heart!

Because, you know, that’s exactly what I’ve done! I mean … I was really sick … what else could I do? I sat around playing with these ideas and concepts and reading this wonderful book. And, then, I played around with the ideas that it contained some more.

That’s the spirit! Bring that element of play into it. Children learn by playing. What makes adults think they’re any different? Play embeds abstract concepts in concrete foundations.

I find it very interesting.

What is very interesting?

Well, let’s see if I can state this clearly. You found a ‘virtual reality’ … and the book you were reading discussed life as a ‘virtual reality’ that we have written the script for in advance. These are fairly esoteric concepts and require some thought and imagination to assimilate into your belief system which, as I’m sure you are well aware, your world would consider a sign of pathology.

Yeah, I got that!

So, you were given the blessing … yes, indeed, I did say blessing … of an illness that put you out of commission for a two-week period so that you would have the freedom to contemplate these new experiences and concepts in relation to how they would work in your own life … without feeling guilty about your forced inactivity.

Do you see in this example how something that most of us would consider a curse can easily be looked at from a different perspective and become a blessing to our lives?

Wow! I never thought of it that way, but I guess you’re right.

Many, many nights I found myself awake at obscene hours and spent those early morning hours with you in my mind (See previous post on this page.) I wrote it all out in my journal, playing with the ideas I had read … and experienced … “if time is really fluid or flexible, then maybe I can bend it a little … what would that be like? Would he want me to read to him? What could I read? Peter Pan! I could read Peter Pan!” Etc. etc.

My beautiful friend, Katherine, has allowed me to use her fantastic drawing of "what if ..." Thank you, Katherine!

My beautiful friend, Katherine, has allowed me to use her fantastic drawing of “what if …” Thank you, Katherine!

I so love that story. And I love being read to … you have no idea how calming I find it. Thank you!

I began to think in more depth about this ‘virtual reality’ thing and, when looking at it more closely, decided that this is what we all do, albeit, perhaps, on a smaller scale.

We all create our own worlds and we refortify ourselves in those worlds with the colors to which we are attracted, the decorations with which we embellish it, the scents with which we fill the atmosphere, the art we place on our walls and all the little homey touches with which we surround ourselves to make ourselves feel ‘at home.’ Some of us incorporate photographs of our loved ones who have made the passage before us or handed-down furniture that was used by our ancestors to tie us in to our history.

All of these elements go into our ‘virtual worlds’ to create an atmosphere of comfort and belonging and welcome and security. Our avatars are our bodies and we change our clothing or hairstyles or makeup or shoes to enhance our current ideas of ourselves.

It’s what you did at Neverland. You created a world behind the gates that could nourish your soul, bring you a sense of peace and comfort. You put everything that you loved inside the gates and, then, you gave it to everyone who entered … it represented ‘the totality of you,’ as you once stated in an interview. Indeed, it did. The scale of your ‘virtual reality’ was monumental in a similar way that Ramses the Great’s (Egyptian Pharaoh) building projects were monumental, but there’s really no difference.

It’s also what I did twenty years ago when I was writing the stories I’ve mentioned many times in these conversations and living the events and emotions of those stories to get me through some of the more difficult times in my life. My stories at the time were my ‘virtual reality’ and with them I manifested this relationship that we share. It remains the most satisfying and soul-nourishing relationship I have ever known and I am so grateful every day for it … and for you.

And you cannot possibly know how grateful I am for you.

When I finished Gregg Braden’s book, I found Wayne W. Dyer’s Wishes Fulfilled during one of my trips to the bookstore. I have read everything that man has written since 1992’s Real Magic (which was dedicated to none other than Michael Jackson) so, of course, I could not leave that one on the shelf. It came home with me. And many of the same concepts were proposed in Dr. Dyer’s book as Gregg Braden had elucidated, driving the thoughts home with a sledgehammer.

Ouch! [Michael laughs.]

Well, you know what I mean. In his book, Dr. Dyer introduces the concept of using the sounds “I Am That, I AM” (biblically reported to be the name that God gave to Moses) to manifest everything you desire into the world of form and substance. That lead me to a film by James Twyman based on his book The Moses Code and, ultimately, to The Moses Code, itself.

I am back to feeling normal.

[Michael chuckles.] You cannot, by any stretch of the imagination, be considered normal … thank God.

Well, okay, my healthy self, then. My computer is back to behaving in a predictable manner after many, many calls to technicians and I am able to write again. But I feel like I’ve spent about a month living in my mind, imagining “what it would be like if … “

My inner taskmaster (as a friend recently named it) has been screaming at me to “STOP WASTING TIME. Quit fooling around! Do something constructive.”

Well, hopefully, you know enough by now to tell it to be quiet. I thought you had locked that voice away in the dungeon a long time ago.

Einstein said: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” Perhaps, a better word would be embraces the world? It hugs it tightly in a great big bear hug! It nourishes it and teaches it to play and dream … and to be every bit of what it dreams for itself.

I’m glad you gave yourself time to imagine … even if it was forced on you by an unforeseen set of circumstances that were beyond your control.

In the meantime, the world outside my little ‘virtual reality’ has continued apace. We have recently celebrated the Thanksgiving Holiday in the U.S.  In the past couple of weeks, Michael Jackson’s Legacy has announced that the funding for the children’s school and residence in Haiti has been received. So, in addition to a home to house 50 children in Liberia, the sponsorship of almost twenty children by fans around the world, an acre of virgin woodland and memorial bench in the UK, MJL can now add the children’s home in Haiti to its accomplishments in a little over a two-year-period thanks to your children the world over who contributed to manifest your dream in this world. The organization is now collecting for a project called Michael’s Pasture of Love to rescue abused or neglected horses in California. Your Wendy girl sure has been busy!

Now, that’s what I’m talking about. God bless you all for your devotion and friendship, for hearing my messages and putting them into action. I LOVE YOU M.O.R.E.

Jan November 29, 2013




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