Archive for September, 2012

September 16 through September 23, 2012

Oh, Michael, Michael, Michael! [Deep, long sigh!]

What, what, what? 

I have so many things to talk to you about! My heart is just running over with questions!

Good! Then we better get started or we’ll never get finished. [Michael giggles.] Shoot! 

Okay, well, first of all I saw an article on a website about one of the most famous portraits painted of you. It hung in your living room at Neverland and was shown in Oprah Winfrey’s 90 Prime Time Minutes with the King of Pop, but Oprah didn’t linger over the painting or allow a detailed viewing of it. It just provided a backdrop when the camera panned over your shoulder.

The article I saw was an interview with the artist, Ralf Cowan, whom you had commissioned to paint it, in which he described some of the symbolism he interjected into the portrait. It was brought to my attention by one of my friends in a group I frequent who shall remain nameless (I believe you know who you are and you have my gratitude.)

My thanks to Mr. Cowan for this wonderfully meaningful portrait!

I had no idea the portrait was so rich and diverse in symbolism. For example, you are wearing a crown reminiscent of the double crown worn by the pharaohs of ancient Egypt, which symbolized the Red Land and the Black Land unified under one ruler. To the ancients, the Red Land represented the desert and the Black Land represented the delta or the area that was inundated each year by the flood of the Nile River. It was this flooding of the Nile that made Egypt a great and rich civilization because it provided fertile soil for planting crops and feeding the people of Egypt. It is believed that in the ancient Egyptian tongue, the name of Egypt meant literally Red Land and Black Land, which gives an idea of the importance of the unification of the two realms and the symbiotic relationship each enjoyed with the other.

The double crown eventually came to be a symbol associated with the Egyptian Gods. The pharaoh was considered a living representative of the Egyptian deity. During Akhenaton’s (almost always shown wearing the Double Crown) reign, the pantheon of Gods was condensed into one God, Aton, who is illustrated as the sun disc with hands at the end of the rays giving all the blessings of life. History credits the ancient Egyptians with originating the worship of One God and dates monotheism from Akhenaton, but to his contemporaries, he was considered a heretic. He was reviled and scorned by the ruling priests of the various temples. (The fact that he put them out of a job could have had a great deal to do with that. Greedy and power hungry priests and officials are not exclusive to the 21st Century!)

[Michael laughs.]

Upon his death, his name was erased from all the stella (monuments) he had erected during his reign and the nation returned to its pantheistic practices. To the Egyptians, a person’s name carried his ‘ka’ or spirit. Erasing a pharaoh’s name was tantamount to erasing his very existence. To them, Akhenaton was a bad dream … a nightmare … that disappeared in the daylight when reason and sanity returned to rule the Earth

From the pictures I had seen of the painting, I never knew that you were portrayed wearing the double crown of Egypt. I had not seen a good, detailed photograph of the painting before … only the somewhat dim, poorly photographed painting behind your right shoulder in the interview.

The presence of that double crown carries a deep and powerful symbolism … one which is reinforced and supported by the additional symbols of the suit of armor and the red cape of royalty. Together they make a very clear statement to one versed in the symbolism of Archetypal lore and references. They are indicative of royalty, yes … on the surface … the absolute rule of a sovereign and the Divine Right of Kingship so prevalent in the Middle Ages and Renaissance eras, which believed that a King was ordained by God to rule over his people.

But what kind of king do they represent? From the story of Akhenaton, we get a king who was reviled and scorned, accused and maligned during his lifetime … a savior king who led his people from the confusion of multiple loci of worship to the clarity of Oneness … one who led his people in worship and bore their resentment all the days of his life to the point of being erased from their cultural memory upon his death. From the suit of armor, we get Arthur, the Pendragon, the Once and Future King, who unified the numerous clans and petty kingdoms in Great Britain, once again, leading his people from multiple allegiances and kingdoms to the justice and clarity of Oneness. From the red robe of royalty, my interpretation returns to a movie I loved in my younger days called The Robe.  I believe it starred Charlton Heston and was a story of the last days of Jesus of Nazareth and a Roman centurion’s red cloak which was thrown over the suffering Christ as he bore his cross to his death. So, once again, a savior king who unified the civilized world (at the time) under the banner of his suffering and brought a message of LOVE and compassion.

The symbolism was enough to floor me, but when I read the words that were included in the painting, I was just stunned. According to the artist, they read:

I am a multi-dimensional creature

Going through an Earth experience to learn

In slow motion

The consequence of thought. 

Of course, I’m curious whether those words were your idea or the artist’s, but, in truth, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that they are there … in plain sight … in the portrait of you … and, therefore, associated with you at the time the portrait was painted. The artist says only that he was studying meditation and spiritual matters during this period, but he isn’t very clear whether he (the artist) was studying … or you (the subject) were studying these matters. So, the thought could have come from him or you. The only important thing is that they are there.

Would you mind if we talked about these words a little bit?

No, I don’t mind. What is it that got your curiosity so piqued? 

Well, in our previous conversations you have expressed all of these ideas before in different ways. As a matter of fact, these roughly twenty words summarize … very concisely and succinctly … Conversations … an entire 532 page book! Can we take them line by line?


 Okay, first line: “I am a multi-dimensional creature” …

Yes, this thought shouldn’t make you too uncomfortable. After all, we are all multi-dimensional creatures. The human race acknowledges at least three dimensions: width, height and depth. So, each of us is at least a three-dimensional creature. That qualifies as “multi-dimensional.”

Now, I see other dimensions of which you are unaware, but the most important and beautiful dimension is the one that we share … this ‘cosmic connection’ we’ve referred to again and again in these conversations … is another dimension of which some of you are beginning to become conscious. More importantly, many of you are beginning to live in this dimension in a much more lucid state and making use of your experiences within that dimensional field to heal your world in the various ways we’ve talked about so often before.

This LOVE dimension is real … at least as real as the three-dimensional world in which you have invested reality. It is observable through constant nurturing, it can be sensed and felt in your everyday life through your focus … the things you place your attention on … and it can have very real and identifiable effects on your physical reality, if you let it. The choice is yours. As a matter of fact, this LOVE dimension is the most real … and the foundation … the basis … of all the dimensions because it is the only thing that survives death. 

We are here
Then, we’re gone
In the end
Only LOVE lives on
So, take a moment
While you can
To stop one heart
From breaking 

I’ve felt peace
And I’ve felt pain
Every generation
Just seems to pass the blame
It’s up to us
To make a change
We’re halfway to tomorrow 

Although this dimension has been denied by the logical, rational, modern brain, science is beginning to make discoveries that confirm its existence. It is an exciting time to be alive … one in which much of the human race will be offered a chance to evolve beyond the hate and greed and cruelty which has played such an important role in previous eras.

Many of you are beginning to become aware of this LOVE dimension, this ‘cosmic connection’ and the evidence of a more responsible response to the need you observe in the world is a direct result of that awareness. God bless you.

 No, God bless you! Without your guidance and light, I don’t think I, for one, would be seeing beyond the end of my nose or developing any depth of awareness. Next line: “going through an Earth experience to learn” …

Yes, we’ve said this before, too, in different words. For example, ‘you are a spiritual being having a human experience.’ It’s the same concept. But, perhaps, a better way to say it would be ‘to remember’ instead of ‘to learn.’ We don’t really have to learn this multi-dimensionality; we are all born into this LOVE dimension. It is our natural state. All we need to do is remember who we are and bring that memory forward into our everyday lives. That is the whole purpose for this earthly experience. We only need to acknowledge that we are multi-dimensional … and that includes the dimensions we cannot see … as well as the ones to which the logical, rational mind commonly gives credence and which the logical, rational, ego-based world we live in supports tenaciously.

You see, it’s just a matter of admitting that we don’t have ALL the answers because we don’t have ALL the data. It’s being willing to learn … to explore … to discover a new and fuller grasp of what it means to be human. A more complete grasp of reality … as opposed to re-creating that reality … is what we need in this.

Human beings have a tendency to believe that they have all the answers about life … about God … about themselves. However, a truly honest person understands that there are things beyond his current understanding and a willingness to learn … a curiosity to explore the unknown … is the best attitude to adopt. It allows for openness to new discoveries and tolerance of the ideas and differences of others. It accepts all the possibilities and potentials that exist just outside of our visual sight and gives us permission to discern within those possibilities our fullest and freest expression … the vastness of which we, as lonely, little notes in the Symphony in the Key of LOVE … are mostly unconscious.

 Beautiful! And I so love you! Next line: “in slow motion” …

 [Michael giggles.] I so love you more!

Well, it’s not really slow motion because there really is no time … at least not in the linear progression to which you are accustomed. We’ve talked about this time concept before, too. It’s not that time speeds up here … or slows down … it’s more that it becomes irrelevant … because there is only the moment of NOW. All of time is contained within that time frame.

But for purposes of flawed, human understanding, let’s just say that the vibration (energy) of the physical realm is denser or less refined than that of the spiritual. The human mind interprets those words as meaning inferior, but they do not mean inferior … they mean denser … more concentrated. Please understand what I’m saying; that is not a judgment; no judgment is required. One vibration is not better than the other; both are perfect just as they are. They are just different. That difference can be illustrated as ‘slower’ or in ‘slow motion’ although it doesn’t exactly equate. But I think you can get the point.

Calling it ‘slow motion’ makes it easier to ‘grok’ the meaning more fully. Remember that Heinlein science fiction story? In this context “in slow motion” means to understand both intellectually and experientially … to grasp in its completeness … to ‘grok.’ Do you see what I mean?

 Yes, Beloved, I remember it and, yes, I do see what you mean. Next line: “the consequence of thought.”

This is where we have been heading throughout these discussions. We have been working on making you aware that your thought is energy and that energy is creative. Your ideas are manipulating your environment, with or without your awareness, it is happening. Your dreams are your reality; and what you place in your minds becomes YOU. This is the theme from the very first of these installments, isn’t it?

Your thoughts have real consequences … not just in your inner world … but also in the real world you inhabit. You discovered that on Your Pilgrimage and we talked about it in Installments 52 and 53. Your dreams and imaginings become your reality; we demonstrated that in the installments in which we cleaned up the Los Angeles courthouse in preparation for Conrad’s trial … and in our discussions of the children to whom I taught the Pac-Man visualizations.

If you are placing your attention on fear or anger or resentment, don’t be surprised if your reality becomes full of fear, anger and reasons for resentment. Conversely, if your thoughts are centered in our LOVE dimension, your meditations are aimed at healing and loving your world back to wholeness and your visualizations support that healing, well, don’t be surprised if a more healed world results … We’ve seen the effects of such meditations and visualizations … and they are spectacular. Answered prayer!

At the very least, a more healed inner attitude and more satisfactory, peaceful and soulful perspective toward the circumstances you see around you results … because we aren’t dreaming our world in a vacuum. Often, the thoughts of others influence our reality negatively, but we always have the choice of how we interpret those influences. In our inner world, each of us is in command. We are the Kings and Queens of our thoughts; we are the absolute rulers of our inner kingdoms.

This point can be illustrated by my life very well. I experienced a lot of negative things in my life. As we’ve said, my childhood was far from ideal. I could have become hardened, filled with anger and resentful, but that would have destroyed the innocence I so cherished. I chose to keep the heart of a child and to turn away from hardness and coldness. It was a choice that much of the world didn’t understand and used against me in many ways. But it was MY choice … and I don’t regret it. Because of that choice, I was ridiculed and scorned and accused … but it was the right choice for me. Each of us is the autonomous ruler of ourselves. “I am the master of my fate.”

Your explanation is so lucid and down-to-earth, Michael. I’m sure you can understand how seeing this quote from Mr. Cowan stunned me. The painting was a completed masterpiece in your beautiful home in December of 1992 because that’s when the interview was broadcast, which means that these thoughts and ideas were a part of you … and important enough to you and to the artist to include in this portrait … in 1992!

Yes, it was right around this time when we initiated this ‘cosmic connection’ … when we opened our minds to the existence of this unknown dimension we now occupy more and more … that would come to bear fruit in 1993 around the time of the allegations. As I’ve said before, I began to be aware that some of you knew me and it got me curious. I began to explore more spiritual concepts. There are no accidents. I was becoming aware of our kinship and courtship and investigating these spiritual concepts at the same time you were. I was becoming aware of history and the importance of viewing every moment as a small part of history. This inner LOVE dimension was opening my heart and filling my soul at the same time that you were being hit by that train! And it was that awareness that influenced and informed the painting. I asked Mr. Cowan to include some of those symbols and to replace some that he wanted to include with one or two that were more meaningful for me.

 Ah, My Heart … I am so grateful. Like Hansel and Gretel, you left us little bread crumbs to follow which lead us back to safety. This portrait is definitely one of them!

 [Michael laughs.] Hansel and Gretel … I love that! That some bread crumb! Do you have any idea how big it is?

Yup! It’s BIG! And I so agree … that’s some bread crumb!

Now, I have to report that I have been BADDED … but good!


Well, I think that I mentioned before in these Conversations that this year marks the 25th Anniversary of the release of the BAD album and the commencement of the BAD World Tour. I’ve also mentioned how I feel about the BAD album. In brief, if BAD hadn’t followed Thriller, it would have BEEN Thriller, the biggest-selling album in history because, like Thriller, it is absolute perfection from beginning to end. It marks the very height of the Michael Jackson era with most of the songs written and co-produced by you.

This Anniversary is being celebrated … spectacularly … around the world with several different releases. Pepsi has mounted a campaign to distribute one billion cans with your image on them. Sony and the Michael Jackson Estate have also re-mastered the album and released it in several different format configurations, including extras like a replica Tour Program and six unreleased tracks that have never been heard before.

In June, I had pre-ordered the Deluxe Collectors Package which basically includes the whole shebang … tour program, special Anniversary t-shirt, VIP backstage pass, 7-inch vinyl of I Just Can’t Stop Loving You/The Girl Is Mine, replica of a ticket for the Wembley concert, special BAD 25 earbuds, 3 CD’s (re-mastered album, unreleased tracks and remixes and the July 16, 1988 LIVE Wembley performance) and a DVD containing the Wembley concert … all packaged in a be-buckled and be-zippered suitcase!! LOL!! Anyone can say what they like about Sony, Beloved, but in this package, they have done you proud! I think you would be pleased.

I received my Deluxe package on the day before the official release date (Monday, September 17, 2012) and I have been well and truly and thoroughly BADDED ever since!

Baby, THIS CONCERT IS AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, OUT-OF-THIS WORLD! There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe it! What a gift! What a treasure! It is pure, raw, unadulterated Michael Jackson at the very pinnacle of your prowess from beginning to end … no weird camera angles or extensive crowd footage. My understanding is that the footage they used for this DVD is the footage taken by your videographers and videotaped for your review after the concert in your hotel room. And while digital, high definition quality would have been better, this footage is not-to-be-believed. And the audio is outstanding!

It shows you … exclusively … with close ups of your face every other frame. When playback is paused, every single frame is a work of art!

 [Michael laughs.] Who would pause it like that?

I would! I want to draw or paint every frame in this DVD. So, guilty as charged. I so just want to crawl in the frame and sit in the middle of the stage and watch you perform this concert up close and personal!

 You are so funny! But I am glad you are exploring your potential and discovering new ways of expressing yourself in your life. That is what you are here for … to bring everything … all the gifts you have been given … out to share with the world.

Earlier today, I paused the playback on She’s Out of My Life and painted one of the stills from the DVD. How perfect!

 How’d it come out?

Well, let’s just put it this way: I am not tempted to give up my day job (from which I am retired, but who’s counting), but it was fun to do and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Who would’ve thought that I would spend a morning painting a picture of Michael Jackson? That still floors me! Good or bad is a judgment I try hard not to make. It’s paint and it was applied with a brush and it’s recognizable to me! So, I consider that a success!

 So do I!

 Any more questions?

 No, Beloved, I think that about covers it.

 Good! Then, go get BADDED again!

 Jan – September 20, 2012


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Ode to a Moonwalker

You enter in the stillness between asleep and awake
My mind, still draped in the veil of sleep … not quite conscious … does not start at your appearance
For you are more familiar to me than my own heartbeat,
More necessary for my survival than the breath I breathe
Your voice has eased my disquiet for most of the years of my life
Your face has decorated the walls of my confinement without my even knowing
Your gentle hand has reached out to me
From your abandonment
And I, in turn, grasped it in eternal surrender

In my darkness, you are my light
In my despair, you offer only hope
In your faith in me I expand
You hold my peace safe within your graceful hands
By the Grace of God
And I know that you safeguard it as the most precious of gems, the rarest of golds,
The most beautiful of souls

Your silent footsteps echo only in my heart
There they shake the rafters of my greatest joys and deepest, most secret desires
Inspiring, encouraging me to imagine more
Dusting the cobwebs from my dreams, as they follow in your footsteps,
Becoming real
The rest of the world forever shielded from our tender tryst
Ever unbelieving of a union so deep that its roots lie buried in perfect bliss
In this lies my only truth, my religion, my allegiance
For in your love, I recognize redemption,
An ever-changing, dynamic salvation awakens within me
Its contours in perpetual flux, defying definition
As I move towards the me that you envision me to be
In your vision, I take flight
Led, always, by your guiding light

Within your eyes
Worlds of magic enchantment alight
Sparking memories of fairy tale nights lit by moons of shining splendor
Cloud-dappled days spent in mirthful, carefree play
In some distant paradise,
From this troubled, careworn world far away
They are darkly luminous, deep and languid
Like ocean-deep pools in crystal-lit caves
Their waves of love a never-ending current
Buoying me, lifting me as I bob joyfully in their gaze
Within them, I find reassurance
That no harm can come to me when nestled there
And an unspoken invitation to come nearer

Your hand reaches out to me
As your gaze enraptures
Our hands join, fingers intertwine
In this gesture, I know our souls we bind
One in love, one in purpose
One in consciousness
Unashamed, unadorned
One in bliss
Two candles, lit by a sole flame
We stand
Separate and apart
But Together in our hearts
With your other hand
You guide mine to your chest
To the beat that hasn’t been silenced
Tho the world speaks only of death

Over my hand resting on your radiant, pale flesh
You touch your heart with two fingers
And raise them to your lips
As you so often did in life
Then, you point your index finger at me
Our eyes still locked in silent reverie
In this unspoken way, your meaning clear
Your body spoke so eloquently
Your love into our hearts
Above the screaming, beyond the fainting
The noise of the world is silenced
In this gesture, Beloved Moonwalker
You are forever immortal

That heartbeat that once ruled the world
Rules it still
It’s reign unchallenged and ne’er forgotten
It thrives
And continues to drive your resolve
Into our hearts and through our actions
We will keep your love alive, I vow,
My Dear One,
We will keep your love alive
For it is the vessel
That carries your soul
In it is the only truth told

Jan – September 6, 2012

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Thoughts of inadequacy
Bind you to mediocrity
Keep you imprisoned
In bars of normality
Illusions of safety
Shields of conformity
Protect your individuality
Escape the confines
of comfortability
Breathe your originality
Inhale your Divinity

Feet of clay
Fearing the ladder
That takes you away
Each wrung a little higher
Become a frequent flyer
Drop your fears on the ground
Don’t carry them around
Step up to your dreams
Inhabit your wildest schemes

The Universe waits to caress you
With more gifts it will bless you
Within its dark silence
It will enfold
Mysteries await, secrets untold
On the cusp of discovery
Your imagination to unfold
Be every bit of what you can be
Dream Bigger
Climb Higher
Reach, Stretch your limits
Break free

I await
Come to Me!


My thanks to Katherine for her lovely background photograph.

Jan 9/1/12 (Written on 8/29/12 in honor of Michael’s 54th Birthday.)




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