Conversations – Installment #8

Week of December 24 through December 31, 2010

Beloved, I believe congratulations are in order.

Hmmm? Congratulations?

Yes, Michael. Although this could have easily been predicted, Michael is a global hit. I think I read that this is your eighth album to enter the charts in a top-ten chart position on a planetary scale, making you to the only recording artist in history to have a global top-ten selling album in each of the last five decades … the 1970’s, 1980’s, 1990’s, 2000’s and, now, 2010’s. While the United States is backwards, as usual, even here it entered the Billboard Top 200 chart at #3 and the R & B/Hip Hop chart at #1. It is a major hit and well-deserved because it is absolutely beautiful. The more I listen to it, the more I hear in it to appreciate and ponder.

God bless you … all of you. I am so glad it is being well-received … by all of you. Like all my efforts, it is a gift from my heart to yours. It is the ultimate pay-off for an artist when his fans appreciate his work. That’s why I was still in the music business … so that I could continue to share what I was feeling in the moment with all of you … and I always prayed that you would like it … find something uplifting in it. Thank you for always standing by me and supporting me with your love and friendship. I never really cared about statistics … except as they represented all of you.

But I have to tell you, Dear One, my current favorite song (other than Fall Again, which will always be my favorite favorite song – I have forty-five favorites) is not on Michael. It hasn’t been released, yet … I am hoping it will be released at some point … because if it isn’t, it would be a true travesty. It was a gift from a very thoughtful friend and was apparently leaked on the internet. While I have always been against piracy, I have made an exception to this policy recently, but I have compensated by buying more than one copy of Michael, so I hope you won’t mind. The song is called All I Need. My dear, this song is so incredible!

Because they say that time is borrowed
We must give a helping hand
Whatever happened to our heroes?
They must get another chance
We draw close … closer … and closer [When you sing this, I HEAR you drawing closer to my ear.]
And even tho’ we’re almost there

You are all I need in my life
You are all I dream here at night
Close your eyes.
Imagine I’m
Takin’ you
Away …
Tonight.

Come together all the people
Here’s your chance to make it right
And even tho’ we’re getting close,
We’re not there yet [not quite yet]
And even tho’ we’re almost there

You are all I need in my life
You are all I dream here at night
Close your eyes.
Imagine I’m
takin’ you
away …
One more time,
close your eyes.
I’m always here to stay …
tonight.”

My Heart, I feel “the tender touch I know so well” in your voice, in the gentle piano accompaniment, in the French horn lead-in, in the lyrics and the strings. I can almost feel your breath on the back of my neck. All the little hairs stand at attention! It just melts me. Thank you for this song so much! When I hear it, I am so reassured of your presence … and of your comfort … and your love. It carries your message so strongly and beautifully.

That didn’t make it onto this album? It should have. I am sorry. But I am glad you like it.

No, my friend tells me that the album was originally slated to contain fourteen songs, but when released it only contained ten. I believe that Blue Gangsta, All I Need and Slave to the Rhythm were saved for the next release … at least, I hope so. It would be a total sin if these songs never came out. They are wonderful. The background harmonies in Blue Gangsta are incredible … and … well … I just told you how I feel about All I Need. Perhaps, they wanted to work on them a little more before releasing them … or, perhaps, they didn’t feel they had enough material to support their $250 million investment. I don’t know … I am just grateful I have them!

$250 million? [Michael whistles. It is kind of an anemic whistle.] That’s a lot of money.

Yes, beloved … I’m sorry … I thought you knew. With This Is It and Michael and the catalog, your estate has earned over $1 billion in the past calendar year! [Yeah, I don’t pay attention to that kind of stuff anymore.] Part of that is a new contract to release your music; Sony has signed what it calls the most lucrative recording contract in history (another record) with your estate for … I think … seven albums over a ten-year period … or is it ten albums over a seven-year period. I can’t remember. Branca and McClain made the announcement a couple of months ago.

That doesn’t surprise me. Branca has kinda been in Sony’s pocket for a while.

Do you mind?

No, not at all. These kinda things don’t touch me now … my fight with Sony was a long time ago … ten years ago. That’s a long time to hold a grudge … and I was never real good at holding grudges, anyway … too busy creating. I’m past that, now. As long as the music gets out there for all of you to enjoy … and to heal your pain and guilt … that’s all I care about.

I have to tell you, beloved, I absolutely LOVE the tremor in your voice in almost all of the recent songs. Teddy has claimed that your voice has been digitally processed resulting in this tremor and this is one of the things that some of the fans objected to … they thought that this tremor in your voice proved that it wasn’t you singing on the songs. There’s always been a kind of breathless quality to your voice and this vibrato just accentuates that breathless quality. I just love it! But, baby, I gotta tell you … I have found one thing that you can’t do with any great skill.

Oh? And what is that, pray tell?

Okay … please don’t take this in the wrong way! Because I love you … you know that … but you can’t whistle worth spit! [Michael laughs.]

Cruel … you are just plain cruel! But, yeah, I agree … whistling is not my forte!

Now, my Dear One … I am sorry … but I need to report some news that is not as rewarding and may upset you. There is a television station in the United Kingdom which is planning to air an anatomically correct re-enactment of your autopsy. The “fan” community is in an uproar over this broadcast … bombarding the Discovery Channel to pre-empt their plans in deference to the dignity that all human beings are due. They are upset that your children and your family may be exposed to this affront and that their grief might be compounded as a result.

Yes, I know.

How do you feel about this show? Does it upset you … or anger you … or disappoint you … or surprise you?

No, it doesn’t surprise me. The world spent my entire life proving the depths to which it would sink for greed … so very little surprises me anymore in that regard. It disappoints me a little, yes … but this is a perfect example of what I meant in our earlier conversation about the definition of common human decency … the definition has changed … the phrase has no meaning anymore. So many of the values that I was brought up to believe in have gone the same way … like common courtesy and politeness and entertainment and common sense. I fear for the world that is being created. We must bring salvation back … we must!

But it also astounds me … the fact that such a show would even be conceptualized … what kind of mind thinks of such a thing? What kind of mind would find that entertaining? And they called me a monster? How many people would actually sit down and watch something like that?

Well, I might … just to see how anatomically correct they mean … [Michael snorts. You are so funny.] Just trying to ease the tension a little.

I don’t know, Dear One … it’s one of the reasons I don’t watch television anymore. This has become a ‘reality show’ world … and it seems that there is no depth of depravity to which these producers won’t bow – lie, cheat, steal the public’s faith and conscience – to titillate an ever-more-jaded viewing audience.

It reminds me of Ancient Rome. As it became more and more depraved, its society continued to become more and more amoral. Just like now, it started with small things … and escalated over time to the point that there were no morals … no commonly-agreed-upon societal inhibitions. We all know what happened to the Roman Empire. It wouldn’t surprise me if Atlantis didn’t go down the same road! I am afraid for you!

Is there anything we can do to halt this spectacle?

Yes, there is … get Branca on it. If they’re using my name, my image or my brand, there is copyright law involved and he can get this thing stopped, if anyone can.

Now, beloved … as the New Year is fast approaching … do you have a New Year’s message you would like to give to your children?

Yes, I do. As the New Year approaches, I would like to wish you all the happiest and most spiritually-fulfilled of years in 2011.

The New Year has been portrayed as a baby for centuries. Pictures abound of an old man wearing a sash with the current year splayed across it often holding a cherub with the New Year stamped on his diaper or wearing a sash with the New Year in bold type and little else. We are all familiar with these representations of the turning of the year. Many customs and traditions surround this season … from partying in Times Square in New York City and watching the ball drop at the stroke of midnight … to resolving to make lifestyle changes in the coming year. Most of our resolutions are forgotten by March. This year, let’s break that mold! This year, let’s all resolve to choose one life to heal … to find someone in our respective corners of the world who needs healing … and give them that gift.

I know this has been a difficult year for a lot of you and I am so proud of all of you. I want to encourage you to view 2011 as full of promise … the Promised Child shines in a baby’s eyes [Michael sings this line.] … for yourself and for the world you inhabit. Yes, I know how difficult it is to view the world as full of promise when all around you hopelessness and economic insecurity, disrespect and apathy, natural disasters and war, disparaging words about public figures or the suicides of our children are the only things you read in the newspapers or see on the six o’clock news. It is a simple thing to control its effects on your heart and your spirit … don’t watch it … don’t read it … don’t get overly tied-up in the negativity surrounding you. Be aware that progress is being made toward the birth of a higher awareness on Planet Earth. You won’t see it on the six o’clock news, but it is happening and you are all a part of it. Have faith. It is happening now! Know it! Do not doubt! In knowing it and believing in it … you create it!

Many of you are angry and hurt … and rightly so … about this television broadcast being planned in the United Kingdom of my autopsy. You are signing petitions and writing letters and threatening boycotts … and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your dedication and loyalty to me, personally, and to my family and children. But, do not let this program turn you from your first allegiance or disturb your peace of mind or shake your faith in humanity and its rightful place in the new awareness. I have never given up on humanity … regardless of what it did to change my mind … and I never will.

Please know that if this program is aired … it is NOT me! It is a doll … a dummy! I am not there because I am right beside each of you. Please also know that they cannot hurt me anymore … I am beyond their reach. They will, no doubt, continue to try to portray me as something I am not … and never have been. The monster they created doesn’t exist … and never did … it’s like the werewolf in Thriller … I showed you how that was created … it’s the same thing. I know that … and you know that. It is a fiction … a doll dressed up … or undressed up as the case may be … to look like me … or a ludicrous distortion of me.

I never allowed them to tell me who I was when I was in your midst … never fit into the little box they constructed to contain and control me … and I will not allow them to tell me who I am now. It must not be allowed to distract our attention from the work we have taken on … you and I.

We are about the business of changing the world into a more humane … sane … place where no one is subjected to this kind of violation and the sanctity of the human spirit is celebrated and honored!

While I am beyond their reach, I know that many of you are not and that you feel every cut and blow aimed at me as if it were aimed at your own heart, even now. I thank you for your friendship, your empathy and your understanding … and I applaud your courage and strength in defending my reputation and my mission. Be assured that you have my heartfelt gratitude, but do not allow them any power over you. I need you … each and every one of you … You are all I need in my life … You are all I dream here at night [Michael sings these two lines.] … to heal the world … in your own way and in your own time … to play the notes in our symphony for the entire world to hear and sing along.

Some of you still hold on to your pain and grief and anguish over my re-birth. You can’t believe that I am still here because your world and your society tell you that it is not possible. But, the world told you I am a monster … and you didn’t believe that … or if you did believe it for a time … you know differently now!  It’s very simple … don’t believe it! Don’t give them that power over you! Know who you are! Know who I am! Know and believe in us and in our mission!

I reach out and touch your heart in the music … you feel it … you sense it … it is REAL! Your heart dances with me in the short films, some of you hear my voice and see me in your dreams … all of you feel my touch upon your heart and your soul. Your soul knows the truth … listen to it. I am not gone but remain beside you and my kiss can renew your faith. Trust in it … and in your ability to re-make this world … in L.O.V.E.

So, in this New Year’s message, I want to remind all of you of the words that I once spoke to an illustrious gathering at Oxford University:

In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope.

In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort.

In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream.

And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.

Let me add one more tenet: In a world filled with disrespect, we must still lift up the human spirit and love from the bottom of our hearts … even those who would tear us down and make of us less than we are.

We have work to do … you and I … together … work that is important and that will take every bit of our courage, faith, fortitude and endurance. We have a new reality to dream! Placing all of your attention on the negative occurrences gives them strength and reinforces the very situations we want to deny reality. So, write your letters, sign your petitions, let your voices be heard, boycott their station … but don’t let them touch you where you live … in our shared dream. We have a planet to re-create. Fortunately, we have a little longer than the six days it took our Beloved Father … but not much longer.

“I have faith in us as a people [that hasn’t changed] … I know we can make a difference.” Each of us has been given the greatest gift … the gift of life … and that gift doesn’t end … Our Beloved Father does not take it back … it is eternal. And each of us bears a gift to life. Let’s all find within us that which we are meant to give … and give it without regard to the cost. In this, we will find the salvation that has eluded our race for so very long.

From this day forward, may a new song be heard.

Let that new song be the sound of children laughing.

Let that new song be the sound of children playing.

Let that new song be the sound of children singing.

And let that new song be the sound of parents listening.

If each and every one of you helped just one child somewhere in the world, can you imagine the magnificent world that would result? Just one … for each of you! It would move us along in achieving our goal so much faster. Give healing to others and you are healed. Give a dream to a child … and your dream will be made real within your own world.

Together, let us create a symphony of hearts, marveling at the miracle of our children and basking in the beauty of love.

Let us heal the world and blight its pain.

And may we all make beautiful music together.

God bless you all … and … I love you MORE!

That is so beautiful … and so … I don’t know … YOU! Thank you.

Now, I have to ask you because I am so curious. What is it like where you are, My Heart?

I’ve already told you. I am right next to you. What is it like where you are?

Well, today it is warmish … above freezing anyway … and drizzly and overcast. But it is comfortable in my house and … stop that! You also already told me that you can be perched on my shoulder … and appear in my friend’s dream in Germany … and kiss my other friend’s forehead in the United Kingdom … and meet with my other friend during her retreat at the beach in Oregon … and not be diminished or fragmented in any way.

Oh, very good! You were listening!

Of course, I was listening to you, beloved. How could I not? So? What is it like in heaven?

Okay. I’ve already explained that each of us has his or her own idea of heaven … and that we create or manifest our own particular brand of heaven (or hell) from our thoughts and dreams. I was fortunate to have been able to create my heaven for a time on Earth. But I’m not going to go into a whole lot of detail here. This conversation is already long enough. [Michael giggles.] I’ll just tell you to picture Neverland … but with a few changes. We can go into more detail in the next installment.

A cliffhanger, huh? Gee, thanks! And he calls me cruel! Okay, I will wait for the next installment. Please don’t make me wait too long, beloved. I’ve always hated cliffhangers because I have absolutely NO patience.

[Michael laughs out loud.] Yes, that’s true. At least, you know that about yourself … and are honest enough to admit it. Now, go play Michael Jackson – The Experience! But don’t wear out your granddaughter’s D.S. !!!

Jan – December 30, 2010

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Conversations – Installment #7

 

Week of December 16 through December 23, 2010

Beloved, I wanted to go back and talk a little bit more about something we discussed briefly in our first conversation, if you don’t mind.

Okay. Which part of the conversation do you mean?

Well, the very beginning actually … when you told me that you thought of all of us as your children. I asked you if you were aware that some of us, including me, had some pretty adult thoughts about you. You said that you are aware. A direct quote: “Yes, I am aware. It comes from a need to be one … to join … with me. What you are all longing for is a return to the Oneness from which you were born into this world of separation. Your soul well remembers and longs for a return to that state of bliss. Being physical, biological manifestations of spirit, you are aware of only one way to make that happen and I understand that longing because I share it.”

Yes, I remember.

Do our thoughts embarrass you?

No, not anymore because I see more clearly your soul’s need for a return to that Oneness I mentioned. This need is expressed as a physical longing for union because you are physical manifestations of spirit … spiritual beings still very much engaged in and committed to a human experience.

It’s like you have assumed a role in a very intense play that requires all of your concentration and commitment … and you have had to bury your natural selves in the identity or character you have assumed … a role for a play … you have to eat like that character would eat … and sleep like that character would sleep … and walk and talk as that character would do those things. In burying yourself in the role you have assumed, you have had to forget who you really are in order to become fully who you are supposed to be for the play. But in a little tiny corner in your heart, you know that it is all an illusion … a celluloid fantasy … that the person you are being is not the real you. Some of you who are very open to impulses from your spiritual selves feel this more strongly than others, but it’s a nebulous thing. You know something is not right, but you can’t put your finger on what it is.

There is a recent movie that shows this relationship of Oneness very clearly. It is inspired. The film is called Avatar. The indigenous people who live on Pandora, the Navi, share a very special relationship with their world and with each other. Each of them is joined to all of them … and their planet … through a web of fibers … through which they can bond with the animals and plants and trees on their world. This web is shown very clearly in the movie with the outworlder’s adoption into the clan. The shaman stands before him and touches his shoulder and all the members of the clan touch the shoulder of the member in front of him or her. The result looks like a spider web, but is composed of all the members of the clan in a web of Oneness. This is the kind of film I wanted to be involved in. I am so glad that such a film was made and released and that so many people saw it. A seed was planted within each viewer’s heart to re-make his world One in the same way. While it may take years for that seed to sprout and grow roots … it is planted … and that is the first step toward realization.

When I was still in-the-body, I didn’t recognize my loneliness and need for togetherness as the same thing … an almost physical remembering of being One with all of God’s creation … a cellular memory, if you want to call it that. I thought it was just my unusual circumstances … my isolation and my lack of any ability to have physical contact with people … or lust … and it embarrassed me. But, now that I understand things better, I am not embarrassed by it. I find it very beautiful. Are you embarrassed by it?

Well, a little. I know that there are a lot of people out there in the world who are feeling this physical attraction or closeness with you … probably more now than when you were still committed to your physical experience … although I am sure there were a lot of us then as well … as I was one of them at that time, too. I don’t know how others feel, but I can tell you how I feel. There is a little awkwardness … a little shyness … and a little guilt … like there is something wrong with me feeling such a strong physical attraction to you … like, perhaps, I am dragging you down … keeping you tethered to a more physical manifestation … not allowing you the freedom to move on from your physical experience … with my thoughts.

[Michael laughs loudly.] Okay, let’s clear that up, right now. You can’t keep me from moving on from my physical experience or imprisoned in the physical realm in any way. You don’t have that power. I am here because I choose to be here. I am with each one of you who calls to me in love for the simple reason that I love you more. I don’t know how many times I said it during my earthly life, but I will say it again, now, for those of you who didn’t understand it … or believe it … then.

I   L.O.V.E.  YOU   M.O.R.E.!!

I think the best way to explore this is to take us right back to the very beginning. Before we are born into the physical world, we are all One. We’ve talked about this before … the symphony … one beautiful composition. When we are born, we realize that we are individual notes in that composition. As infants, our awareness of the Oneness we are still very strongly connected to slowly fades as we become more aware of ourselves as physical, separate human beings. But very, very young babies are still more aware of themselves as One than as individuals. They retain a strong memory of that Oneness, but have no way to express those memories.

As they become more aware of themselves as individuals, that memory fades. They start noticing the faces of their caretakers, their own fingers and toes and the world around them and their view of reality is being formed with every moment and every new person they see. They see their mothers as beings encased within flesh … separate … and they begin to be aware of themselves as separate and that memory of Oneness fades into their dream world landscape, but their imaginations produce visions of auditory and visual splendor in their little minds and some of them can actually play with those visions, talk to them, see them, because they are still deeply connected at the soul level to the Oneness. This should be encouraged … not criticized … or suppressed … because that spiritual connection is important at each phase in your physical life.

The way our society is structured now, young children are dissuaded from imaginary play … and spiritual connection … very early. They are told when they are still very young that magical beings like Santa Claus and fairies and dragons don’t exist. It’s time to face reality. Then, later, their world imposes its rules and the spiritual connection is further severed until its only outlet is through dreams … or through addictions to such things as drugs or alcohol or lust … because we don’t understand what is wrong … we just know that something is wrong. So, we spend our lives trying to find the peg that fits the hole that we know is there. And we settle for something that numbs the aching emptiness of the hole, because the world offers us no logical explanation for what we are lacking … it just is … “get used to it” kind of, you know?

Some of you have retained a very deep knowledge of yourselves as part of the Oneness buried beneath layers of who you were raised to be and the expectations your society has imposed upon your beautiful free minds … possibly because of your life circumstances or for whatever reason … and you still allow that Oneness to influence your physical reality. For example, you sleep and in your sleep … in your dream … we are One … you and I. You will awaken from your sleep with a throbbing ‘knowing’ that I have been with you and your physical mind will automatically relate that ‘knowing’ to the physical act of union because it is the only way of experiencing union that it has prior knowledge of. It doesn’t ask your permission to do this; it is automatic like breathing or your heart beating. And you wake up and think to yourself, “I’ve been making love with a dead man.” And your society has very specific words for this … and none of them are pretty. Therefore, you feel guilty and shy about it because your society has imposed its rules and regulations on your spiritual life since you were an infant instead of allowing your imagination to take wing and your dreams to take you as far as you are able to imagine.

I was so very blessed in my physical life as an artist. I was able to live in my imagination and manifest some of what my dreams created in my reality. Imagination shares a deeply embedded link with the spiritual world where Oneness rules … as it was shown in Avatar. The loneliness that I referred to in Moonwalk and in many of my songs and interviews was an expression of my physical and spiritual need for a return to the Oneness, but I didn’t recognize that at the time. I just thought I was the loneliest human being on earth, but I didn’t understand why … because the physical world imposes its reality upon our psyches so strongly and so early. And it does not allow us to deny its interpretation, as you saw from my experiences while engaged in my physical experience.

So, please don’t feel guilty or embarrassed by these feelings. It is only you and I sharing the Oneness that is the very essence of our spiritual nature and which we both know exists … and it is beautiful!

But, beloved, the images that this conjures are somewhat difficult to ignore! And distracting! And … um … exciting and frustrating at the same time!

[Michael giggles. ] He he he! [Very high pitched singing … like on many of his records!] Yes, I can imagine they could be! I see the problem. How about substituting a different image?

I beg your pardon?

How about substituting a different image? How about when your mind takes you there, you imagine us holding hands … things will go better if you just hold my hand! [Michael sings this.] Or … maybe we could just embrace … so come into my arms, lay your body close to mine … let me fill you with my dreams … I can make you feel alright. [Michael sings this to the tune of Lady in My Life.]

Holding your hand might work, but … Oh, baby … that last one wouldn’t help the situation at all. “Lay your body close to mine, let me fill you with my dreams?” That would just take me further into the images I am trying to replace! As a matter of fact there aren’t many images of you that wouldn’t lead me to those kinds of imaginings, my dear one … you are so beautiful to me … in or out of the physical envelope!

[Michael laughs again.] Sorry! Okay, I’ve got it! You wrote something a long time ago. It was a story and through this story, you sent me your spiritual support in the person of an angel. Do you remember?

Yes, I remember … but I’m surprised you know about it … very few people know about Angelique. I loved that little angel. She was so cool! You were aware of her?

Aware in the sense that someone was sending me love and support … yes … aware of her in the sense of seeing her and hearing her and touching her in a physical sense … no. But I think my spirit was aware of her and was grateful to her for being there. She was your love … personified! It was during the second leg of the HIStory Tour, wasn’t it?

Yes, it was … I wanted to be there so badly … and couldn’t be. So, I sent her to you instead. While I had friends who were able to hare off to the ends of the earth in your wake, I was never able to do that, so I sent her in my place. My thought was that she could be with you in spirit to comfort you and help you play in the midst of your obligations.

Awww, that is so sweet! Thank you so much!  I only learned the particulars recently, but thank you for the thought. Anyway, how did your angel and I join with each other?

They touched their foreheads together … just at the point of the ‘third eye chakra’ … just between the brows. It was their way of sharing each other.

Okay, was it sexual or intimate or what?

Yes, it was very sensual and intimate, but it was also a mind meld … like Spock used to do on Star Trek … and an emotional melding! It was their way of sharing each other without restriction … no holds barred kinda. You described it earlier in our conversations as total transparency … nothing hidden … no need for anything hidden. Each could experience his or her own emotions … as well as the other’s emotions or thoughts at the same time.

This gesture has a special meaning for you. Could this gesture be the one to replace the images in your mind that are distracting?

Well, I suppose I could try it … but I kind of enjoy the …

[Michael laughs loudly.] You are so funny! Tell me something more about the story. Didn’t the Michael Jackson in your story ask Angelique about this very thing?

Yes, he did … but … beloved … how could you know that?

How did Angelique respond? Don’t worry about how I could know about it … just answer the question.

Well, she told him: “What you fight … resist … struggle against … persists, my beloved. In the struggle, you give the very thing you would deny reality. It is much better to move past it. By doing so, you remove its hold on your attention. The physical side of your being is in a pitched battle against what you sense in me … the kind of love and companionship you’ve longed for all your life. Yet, you see the physical attraction as a threat to that love … that togetherness … as well as your loyalty to your wife. Do not deny it, beloved. Acknowledge it. Be thankful for it. Move past it. Do not let it absorb your attention.

The most obvious way to move past it is to change your perception. Your world interprets all touch as sexual on some level. Teachers are not allowed to hug their charges for fear of being aroused in a physical sense. They are not allowed to comfort or lend strength out of fear of charges of inappropriate behavior. In my world, we touch to share in a deeper sense than mere physicality … this is how we share our emotions, memories, dreams. You’ve seen me touch Wayne’s companion as I touch you. Yet, your interpretation is physical. You can change your perception to … not necessarily deny this physical side of yourself … but to see the richness that lies beyond, for your physical reaction is only the tip of the iceberg. Our meaning to each other goes so much deeper. In this way, you experience our relationship on all levels only one of which is physical while enjoying a holistic approach toward relationship. All relationships … human and angelic … benefit from such an approach and the harvest you reap is far-reaching and long lasting.

For example, when you walk into a hospital … and you see children with terrible diseases, bald heads, missing limbs … the world sees the same things and teaches the child to see through its eyes. But not you, beloved. What do you see?

“I see myself … all their dreams reflected in their eyes. I see courage and strength trapped inside fear and weak little bodies. I see beauty ensnared by the world’s judgment of ugliness or unfairness. I see babies who’ve not learned to see themselves through the judgments of others and who, therefore, know themselves to be unique, special, rare … instead of lumped together with thousands of others beneath the label ‘victim.’”

“Just so, beloved. It is just such a shift of perception that you require in this matter of relationship. As I’ve told you, it will be as you will it … but it is important that you see it clearly and define yourself in relation to your perception … in the matter of the children … as well as in the matter of our relationship. When we touch, both of us feel an exchange of energy that can be clarifying … purifying … or confusing … disturbing. It is your choice how you interpret the exchange … and how you use your interpretation in defining yourself.

You and I share each other in many ways. We drink from the same crystal clear spring of dreams. We have an uncanny knowledge of each other … a sense of each other in the very air we breathe. Our love is so much deeper than the merely physical level to which you are accustomed. Instead of placing your attention on just our physical relationship … which gives it reality and strength … see past it to the fathomless depths lying beneath. Do you understand?”

There ya go! You know the answer … you wrote it more than ten years ago!

Okay, hot shot … do you know how the Michael Jackson in my story responded?

No, tell me.

He said, “Yes, Angel, I understand … but you could try being a little uglier!”

[Michael laughs loudly … and long.] Sounds like something I would say. I need to read this story.

Seriously, though, I will work on the image substitution thing. And thank you for reminding me of this part of the story.

Now, I have to ask you about the cover art for the new album. I’ve read that you commissioned this huge painting … I am sorry … I can’t think of the artists name at the moment … but hold on … I’ve got the album right here …  ah, Kadir Nelson. This painting is amazing. It shows you throughout the years. It’s got like fifty different images of you … all in this surreal juxtaposition that is just mind blowing. I think you would love it! From my understanding … it is BIG! [Michael giggles.] Well, I was looking at this painting and wondering about how the artist came up with all this, when my heart just stopped and jumped into my throat … because in the main image there is a monarch butterfly resting on your left sleeve just at your shoulder. I wanted to know if that butterfly was intentional … was that one of the things you requested the artist to put in the painting?

Monarch butterfly, huh? Why?

Because in September or October, every day for a little over a week … when I would go on break at work, I would walk out the doors and at least one, sometimes two or three, monarch butterflies would circle over my head like they were trying to get my attention or something. One day, one of them almost landed on me because I wasn’t paying attention. All of a sudden, this butterfly was like right under my nose and another time one of them landed on a branch just inches away from my eyes like it was saying, “Look at me!” I always thought of you when this happened … even spoke to you while these beautiful, tissue-paper creatures were flying around and sitting on tree branches so that I could admire them. So, I wrote a poem about it and posted it here on my little blog. It was only the second poem I had ever written, but I really liked it.

[Michael giggles.] Are you suggesting that I had something to do with these butterflies attacking you? What am I … the butterfly-whisperer?

No, beloved … I am not suggesting it. I KNOW it was you attacking me with butterflies … that is a given … so, let’s just move on from there … even heard you chuckling a couple of times. Had to be you!

So, the other day I picked up the CD and was just looking at the centerfold replica of the painting.  When I saw that butterfly sitting on your shoulder, it was like an electric shock coursing through my veins! I just couldn’t believe it! So, the question is: was that one of your ideas? And if it was, how the heck do you do that?

I didn’t do anything. I’m not the artist. You need to ask Kadir. [Michael giggles.]

Yeah, but if I can have these conversations with you … and you can know about movies that are released after you have departed from your physical incarnation … and you can lean over Teddy’s shoulder and make suggestions about the album … and visit people in their dreams … and stop watches … and attack me with butterflies … you can whisper in Kadir’s ear about monarch butterflies!

You are very certain; you know this. I couldn’t deny it if I wanted to because you wouldn’t believe me. Very, very good! You are learning to allow no doubt to enter your mind. And it is with this kind of certainty that you create your reality! When we began, there was a lingering doubt that this was just not possible. That doubt no longer exists! God bless you! As we talked about before, doubt doesn’t allow for the millions of possibilities that exist in every situation and circumstance.

I might have thought about a butterfly during one of my visits to Kadir while he was painting … or pictured one playing among the trees during one of my visits with you. Maybe … just … maybe. But what amazes me is that you were open enough to notice … and make the connection to me. Most people wouldn’t notice … or would call it coincidence and just forget about it. This is why these conversations are working so well. Because you are open to them. You don’t believe in coincidence. And you allow your attention to be diverted to something as simple as a butterfly crossing your path. That is rare in one still committed to a human experience. Thank you.

No, thank YOU, my dear one, you taught me this back in the 1990’s when we first formed this inexplicable bond. It’s just like back then … with little miracles happening all around me … like license plates that spell out “JAXSON” … and fortune cookies that read, “Don’t let doubt and suspicion bar your progress” … and butterflies attacking me and showing up months later on album covers. There is no explanation for these things, but I am grateful beyond words.

Now, I have some friends who want me to ask you some questions. Do you mind answering questions that they have sent me?

No, I don’t mind … and, of course, I still remember them.

Whoa, baby! You know the friends I am asking about?

Of course, I know. And, yes, I remember them and the times we shared. Mostly, I remember the love we shared because it was so beautiful. We talked about the guilt some of you are feeling in one of our earlier conversations. No, I do not feel hurt or disappointed in them. How could I be disappointed in them not knowing how things would turn out … I didn’t know how things would turn out! No one can know the future because we haven’t created it, yet.

The important thing for all of you to know and remember is that you don’t need to wait for us to be together again … we are together now … if you will just KNOW that … and ALLOW me to comfort you. You made a very good suggestion to one of these friends today. I hope she takes your advice. It will help her to remember the good times we shared. And to that friend: Do this! It will help us to re-establish our bond! Your grief and pain and skepticism need a visual aid so that you can see and hear and feel our connection more strongly. So, I want you to do this!

Now, for the other question: I am talking to all of you all the time. Some of you are still struggling with disbelief that this could be possible … your society has taught you that people who are hearing from re-birthed loved ones are crazy … you have all been conditioned to believe this and it is difficult to overcome that conditioning. No one wants to be stereotyped as crazy! It is not crazy to be talking to or writing for or conversing with me … it is a natural byproduct of our Oneness. It does not require psychic ability or automatic writing or clairvoyance or clairaudience. All it requires is L.O.V.E.

When you call to me, I am there … for each of you. That will not change. If you are hearing different things than the interpretations you are reading here, it could be because each of you filters the information you see around you in the physical world … as well as the information you receive from the spiritual world … through your experiences and belief systems which you have formed over your lifetimes. In that filtering process, interpretation occurs … and your interpretation may not be exactly the same as your friend’s interpretation.

All of you know my message … L.O.V.E. and H.E.A.L.I.N.G … pure and simple! But because of your filtering systems, you see different ways of doing that. And that is perfectly fine. We need all of you working in your own areas of expertise … all of you … using the gifts that God has given you … to accomplish the mission. So, while one might hear me saying one thing … another might hear me saying something different because of that filtering system. And each is just as much me touching your heart and kindling your action as the other. I know that might sound … um … odd, but it is true. It’s that dichotomy thing again. So, don’t worry if what you read here doesn’t mirror what you are hearing individually. That is normal and natural for those still committed to a human experience. As long as L.O.V.E. and H.E.A.L.I.N.G. the world and the children … all of my children … results from your interpretation … GO FOR IT!

Now, I want to take a moment to give you all my Christmas wish for you: I wish that you all would let go of your doubt and grief and anguish and pain over my being gone … BECAUSE I AM NOT GONE! I wish that you all would use your God-given talents to heal the world and create Oneness right here on Earth. I wish for you all to know that there is a Plan … and that all is progressing according to that Plan, even though you may not understand it. I wish for you all to know that I am still here and that I still love you more!

Thank you to all of you who have sent flowers and written articles and books and websites in my defense. Thank you to all of you who are open to my touch upon your lives. Thank you for all your love and devotion.  Thank you to those of you who have planted trees or donated toys or money or time to the sick and deprived children in my memory. Thank you to all of you who have joined the monthly prayer vigil and prayed for love to blanket the world. Thank you to all of you who have defended my honor in a world without honor. I know about all you are doing … and I honor you in return. And to all of you, I say, “Thank you for being my friend.”

I   L O V E   Y O U   M O R E   !!

Jan – December 22, 2010

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My Holiday Wish For You

Two thousand years ago, the world was given a gift in the person of a boy-child whose birth we still celebrate. This boy-child was special in so many ways. He saw clearly a spiritual world that few have such ready access to and spoke authoritatively about the gift he bore for the world he graced with his presence for a little over 30-years – God’s all-encompassing L.O.V.E.

While our modern festivities are more concerned with consumerism in all its many guises, may we remember that the gifts we give to our family and friends commemorate the gift we were given in that boy-child by our loving Creator. Many millions the world over still pause for a moment during their hectic holiday schedules filled with shopping and parties and good food and good friends to remember the gift that boy-child gave to all of us so many, many years ago.

On August 29 1958, the world received a reminder of that gift in another boy-child who fascinated us almost from the moment of his birth. As he grew in maturity, grace and talent, this boy-child would do everything within his power to remind the world to be thankful for the gift it received two thousand years ago. Through song and dance, film and performance, speech and example this boy-child/child-man encouraged peace among the nations, stretching toward perfection, healing the children and the planet and reminded the world that ‘it’s all for L.O.V.E.” in everything he did, every word he spoke, every step he danced, every performance he gave and every prayer he prayed.

To say that the world has forgotten the gift it had received from the boy-child of two millennia ago … as well as the child-man of a little more than fifty years ago … would be an understatement of gargantuan proportions. But on June 25, 2009 and since, millions have been awakened through the shock of heartbreaking and irreplaceable loss and allowed themselves to remember to be grateful for the offering of a loving Creator – not once, but twice — to his beloved children.

On December 14, 2010, the most recent gift of a newly-reborn boy-child/child-man was released. In that gift, the memories of joy, laughter, excitement and ecstasy we experienced when we danced in our living rooms to the heavy beat of Billie Jean and joined hands with perfect strangers as we released our inhibitions and danced in the aisles at concerts around the world are rekindled. While that excitement and joy of discovery can never be replicated, we can rejoice that we have these most recent gentle reminders of our youthful exuberance in the shining example of a life well-lived among us.

So, in this Holiday Season, my wish for all of you is that you pause to remember to be thankful for the many gifts you have been given, including the boy-child of two thousand years ago and the child-man of a little more than fifty years ago … and in your gratitude … that you give the gift of yourself to the world you inhabit. For, to quote a wise man, “The world needs that gift now more than ever. The child with AIDS in the ghetto is waiting for you … along with the starving people in Africa … and everyone else who needs your help. Share with me the wonderful feeling you get when your soul is lifted up to become pure L.O.V.E. I want to thank all the children of the world who are my inspiration and my hope, especially the poor and deprived. I am so sensitive to your pain.”

Jan – December 17, 2010

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Conversations – Installment 6

Week of December 9 through December 16, 2010

Are you ready to begin our next conversation?

Michael? Is that you?

Well, who else would it be? How many re-birthed men are you talking to? Should I be jealous? [He giggles.]

Okay, now it’s my turn to laugh! Geez, baby, don’t scare me like that! Of course, I’m ready. I usually take a day or two to rest and clear my mind between sessions because these conversations do seem to drain me a little bit. I get so deeply into you that I don’t want to work or eat or sleep or prepare my family’s meals or anything else; the experience is so intense. But we can begin anytime you’re ready. Is there something you particularly wanted to talk about? You seem … urgent … somehow.

Yeah. I was afraid that I had given the wrong impression during our last conversation and I don’t want you to be conflicted about it.

Okay … let me just get myself dry and get the computer fired up. Can you tell me what part of the conversation were you referring to?

Well, we talked a lot about my father and my childhood, right?

Yes, we did, beloved. Was there something more that you wanted to say about that? Okay … I think we’re ready now.

Yeah … a lot! During various interviews in-the-body, I said a lot about my father’s lack of emotional availability … and in our last conversation I mentioned that he wasn’t a very astute businessman … so I was afraid that I gave you the impression that I was still hurt and disappointed in our relationship. And I wanted to clear that up.

Clear away, beloved.

Okay, well first of all … I want you to understand that I love my father very much … even more now than I did during my life because I understand him so much better now than I was ever able to when I was still with you. So, I want to explain some of what I know about him to you so that you can understand him a bit better.

Okay, shoot!

My father did not have an easy life. He was an African-American male in the deep south at the height of racial segregation. He had a first row seat to prejudice and bigotry, deliberately aimed at reducing his potency as a man, as a citizen, and as a human being. Do you know what it’s like to be a young teenager and be told that ‘you can’t sit here, it’s for white folks’ or ‘you can’t drink out of this water fountain because you’re a n-word’ [Sorry, dear one, I still can’t type that word!] [It’s okay … I respect that.] or ‘watchu lookin at, boy? Donchu be lookin’ at no white women like that, boy!’

No, my dear one, I can’t even imagine what that would be like!

It’s degrading! it’s dehumanizing! It’s emasculating! I never could imagine it, either, because he made sure that we didn’t have to deal with that … until later in my life when … well, we talked about that in our last conversation. Suffice to say, his society told him he was a second-class citizen, but he was proud … a warrior … and didn’t believe that and wouldn’t allow his sons to believe that! He taught us that we didn’t have to take a back seat to anyone! He was not a spiritual person or one given to self-reflection. He left that part of our education to our mother. Men like him didn’t pay much more than lip service to that part of life. He was too busy working and trying to put food on the table for his growing family.

His father was beaten; he was beaten … that was the way things were done then. On top of that, he was brought up to believe that a man supported his family and he wasn’t much of a man if he wasn’t the bread winner. He loved music, but he had to work in a steel mill to support my mother and her ever-growing brood of ten kids. It was back-breaking, soul-killing, dream-destroying work. He had a longing to make it in music, but no opportunity. And he slowly had to watch his dream die as each new child was born. Birth control wasn’t around back then and he and my mother couldn’t have afforded it if it was. It was natural for him to resent each new child as his dream drifted further and further away from his grasp.

When he started coaching us, he transferred what was left of that dream to us. It was a heavy burden to carry for little kids … but we were willing partners in the dream … we all wanted it too … especially me … but he wouldn’t give up his dream totally. And I have to admire him for that. But he didn’t think far enough ahead … didn’t see how that dream he had for his kids would affect his role and his life.

Unfortunately, as we began to make it in the recording industry, his role as manager and controller of his sons was taken over by Berry and the Motown team. He wasn’t the ‘king of his castle’ anymore. When we really began to take off, we were the bread winners of the Jackson family  … which increased his feelings of impotence and rage that began when he was an African-American teenager … we unwittingly made him feel less of a man … because he wasn’t supporting his family … he wasn’t really doing all that much to manage his sons careers in the music industry, either. He felt a little like a fifth wheel and he took it out on us. It was what his father had done to him and his great-grandfather had done to his sons. It’s a common story in black families, especially black families who can remember what it was like growing up under that cloud that was a leftover from slavery.

I often said that I loved my father, but I didn’t know him. It took my leaving to understand the reasons that I could never feel close to him … never really understand him. But I think I do, now. The world he lived in crushed him very early in his life! When we started out, he taught us everything we needed to know to make it on the circuit we played. He was a stern task-master … yes … but we learned … and his contributions cannot be underestimated. He kept us off the streets … out of gangs … off drugs … and he got us out of Gary, Indiana which was pretty hard to do in the neighborhood we lived in.

Once we moved to California, he was kind of redundant. The Motown publicity machine told us what to say… how to answer interview questions … ran the show, Berry and the Corporation chose the songs and controlled everything we did in the recording studio, Suzanne chose our clothes and rehearsed us and accompanied us on tours, Berry took on the role of benevolent despot. And my father was pushed further and further out of the group that he started and rehearsed and brought to the point where they could take over. We lived with Diana or Berry for almost a year while Joseph and Katherine closed up the house in Gary and found a house big enough for us all and moved us in, which further alienated him from his sons who were going where he had always wanted to go himself. The fact that a couple of us liked Berry better than we liked our own father didn’t help. It wasn’t hard for him to see and it pushed him further and further away.

That feeling of alienation and impotence … from his racially segregated youth to his soul-killing job to watching his dream die to being pushed out of his family’s group … contributed to so many of the behaviors that drove me away from him. His liaisons with young women when we were touring were a way for him to prove to himself and to his older sons that he was still a man and attractive to women. My older brothers, as they got older, would follow his example and bring young girls back to the room with them and my father would look the other way. He would say that they shouldn’t do that … but with a wink and a grin … because he was proud that they were ‘manly’ men and following in his footsteps. They could share his conquests and grow closer to him by copying his behavior … commenting on this one’s breasts or laughing about that one’s ass … or sharing stories about what they did and how they used women.

Me … well … he was ashamed of me … I was too sensitive and could never do that! My mother was an angel to me … and she had taken me and my sisters to Kingdom Hall as often as she could and I would listen to the preacher preaching about the evils of that kind of behavior … and my father would just laugh it off! To me, what he and my brothers were doing … was disgusting with my mother sitting at home and raising the younger kids! My loyalty to her and her deeply-held religious beliefs and my deep love and respect for the fans they were just using and throwing away wouldn’t allow me to joke and laugh about things like that, which drove me further away from him … and from my brothers over time. Starting a second family and having a daughter out of wedlock with another woman was another act of rebellion against being pushed away from his family by the Motown machine … and always being in debt and coming to me to borrow a half a million dollars for some new scheme that I knew would never pan out  just added to those feelings of resentment and jealousy and rage and impotence … and it just grew and grew as each year passed. It festered inside him … and I never realized my partial responsibility in his behavior during my life.

It accounts for his anger and violence towards the people who stole his manhood from him in so many ways … his own sons! The fact that he had wanted this so badly all his life for himself but it was his sons who actually got to do it caused a fearful jealousy in the man that couldn’t be hidden and added to his lack of paternal feeling. He would never admit that he resented it, but it was a big, black boulder that settled in his heart and almost choked him; he couldn’t talk about it or acknowledge it to himself or anyone else. But it was always there between us.

And, of course, since I was the most successful of his sons … and I was the one who gave his wife a Rolls Royce … and I was the one who remodeled her house … and I was the one who couldn’t share his pride in his conquests … and I was the one who turned down his requests for money to pay his debts … and I was the one who supported him, but only through his wife … I further emasculated him without even realizing it. I was the one he most resented. It makes perfect sense, even if it is a convoluted way to look at things. Now, he is so entrenched in his ways that he can’t find his way out of those feelings … and the wound that has bled for so long can’t be bandaged up and be as good as new. And most of my brothers have gone the same way, at least in their relationships with their wives and families.

With many people, like Oprah, I was able to see the wound and overlook the things she said and her behavior, but I had a huge blind spot with my father. I could never understand how he could be so unfeeling. It took my rebirth for me to actually see and understand all of his wounds. I look forward to healing him when he gets here and renewing our relationship. Believe it or not, he helped me. He gave me pride in myself and that pride carried me through my entire life … he taught me that no star was too far away to reach for. He taught me a lot about performing in front of people and about life on the stage, he taught me to be strong … to be a warrior … when my principles and ideals were at stake. He taught me about the man I didn’t want to be … as well as the one I did … and I am grateful to him for that.

Everyone in our lives is put there because they have a gift to share with us. My father also had a gift for me, but my judgment of him never allowed me to thank him when I was alive. I will thank him when he gets here.

Okay … that’s it … now you can go take that break. [Michael giggles.]

Are you kidding? No way … I want to talk to you about what happened today.

Okay …what happened today?

I read a review of the album and it really pissed me off! This pontifical jerk at The Guardian, a British publication, I think, was not very complimentary and I wondered how these kinds of things affected you. Do they make you angry?

No, not really. I’m used to it. They’ve been doing the same thing for so long that I have decided that if I am true to myself in the music … if I give her everything I’ve got … the only approval I need is from me … and God … and you! When I was alive, I would occasionally feel slighted by the industry if I didn’t win any awards for new albums. Now, the only opinions I care about are yours and God’s! And since God gave me the music, that leaves you … do you like it?

I love it! It is so good to hear your voice again on new music. I was trying to tell my friend today on the internet which is my favorite song and I ended up listing almost the entire album. I think they are all fabulous for different reasons. In Hollywood Tonight, I am amazed at all the things you get your voice to do from the beat box to the harmonies to your lead which goes from tenor to falsetto without skipping a beat  … and in Monster I am enthralled by the background harmonies … and in Behind the Mask that beat box thing and the Bucharest concert clips interspersed with the backgrounds. Then there is Best of Joy and your beautiful voice and Much Too Soon your voice, again, speaks so eloquently. Hold My Hand is so quintessentially Michael … the message is so anthemic. Breaking the News I love the beat and the message. And, then, there’s The Way You Love Me. I had heard this song when it was released on the Ultimate Collection and it wasn’t one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. But, you must have been working on it since then, because on this album, it is beautiful! I love the lead vocal and the harmonies and the fingersnaps and the little introductory instructions.

I’m pretty spoiled and can play the CD on a BluRay player connected to a five speaker surround sound system (thanks to my husband) … and that is the only way to listen to this release. The five speakers separate all the different instruments and harmonies so that they are so much clearer. So, I like pretty much the whole thing. But why should my opinion matter?

It matters to me. All of you are the ones who always supported all of my albums. I was never critically acclaimed … it was always just pop music … not really serious … not really art at all. It was you, the fans, that put me where I was … that made my silhouette recognized in every corner of the globe. I mean, most people you at least have to see their face before they’re recognized, but many times just my silhouette was all that was needed to make the crowds go wild. Yours is the most important opinion. The critics can go suck my message!

Michael!

Sorry! [Michael giggles.]

Okay … now Michael … we can’t make one of my readers wait any longer. At the end of our last conversation, I told you that one of my readers really wants to know what you look like, now. Let’s put this poor woman out of her misery.

Nah! Let’s make her wait a little longer! [Michael laughs.]

You are so evil! Come on … answer the question!

Okay … if you insist … well … let’s see. How do I begin this?

You’ve heard of auras, right?

Yes, of course, beloved. An aura is like a field of energy that surrounds living things. Is that what you mean?

Yeah, exactly. Except that not only living things have auras … everything has an aura … the Earth has an aura … it’s called ‘atmosphere.’ But for this discussion, we will deal with living things, so I guess that’s as accurate as we need to get. When a person is in-the-body, he can’t see the aura around his own body or anyone else’s because the sense of physical sight is limited to just certain parts of the full spectrum of light … like ultraviolet light is unseen by the human senses … it is out of range … sort of the same way that a really high pitched whistle can’t be heard by the human sense of hearing, but a dog’s sense of hearing can hear it, right?

Yup, gotcha!

Well, like we’ve already said a few times in these conversations, everyone and everything is energy … love is energy … hate is energy … fear is energy … you are energy … I am energy. There is individual energy and there is universal energy, but everything is energy. When a person leaves the physical body, what is it that leaves … and what gets left behind?

That’s easy! The physical body gets left behind. It is the energy that moves on for the next adventure.

Right! So, the energy is no longer attached to the physical body. We have always thought that it is the magnetic or electrical energy of the body that causes the aura that can be seen by some highly technical instruments … and by some, but very few, people with a psychic sense of sight, but that is not true. The human body does not cause that aura at all … it’s really more that the human body is animated by the energy that we have called the spirit in previous conversations and it is the spirit that emanates the aura.

As we’ve already talked about earlier, the spirit … or the energy that animates the body and leaves it when it departs … is a kind of encyclopedia of all of the thoughts and emotions and choices that the individual has made in his lifetime as well as the knowledge of the spiritual world that each spirit brings into the world at birth, but that slowly fades as the spirit becomes more and more aware of itself as a human being. When the spirit leaves the physical body behind, the spirit becomes more and more aware of the spiritual world as the physical world fades and its identification with and awareness of itself as a spiritual being which has just completed a human experience comes more and more into focus. Are you with me?

Absolutely, beloved … stuck like glue!

[Michael laughs loudly!] I’d like to see that! Anyway, the spirit and its aura (or emanations) move on from the physical experience. They look a lot like the physical person looks, but in all of their stages of development at once … child, teenager, young adult, mature adult … all are present within the spirit at the same time and the aura … or emanations … are colored with bright colors that can be read by any other spirit and contribute to total transparency … as in not being able to tell an untruth or hide anything … because each emotion or thought is instantly broadcast in the aura.

These colors are somewhat related to the energy centers known in many eastern mystic traditions. In East Indian traditions, they are called chakras and there are seven of them that align along the spinal column beginning with red at the root chakra and rising up the spinal column to orange just below the navel to yellow in the sacral chakra to green in the heart chakra to blue in the throat chakra to indigo in the third eye chakra to purple  in the crown chakra. In addition there are combinations of colors and sparkling lights in the auras that also indicate states of mind and emotions. When you combine all these colors, you get white because all the colors are contained in white. Each of the energy centers or chakras is associated with an area of the body as well as an area of life which it controls. For example, the throat chakra is associated with the color blue and is generally associated with all kinds of communication.

This is just a very brief summary, a full study of all this would take reams and reams of paper and more time than we have. But if a spirit’s aura is filled with a blue color, it could have something to do with its throat chakra. So, another spirit would be able to see that aura … because, remember, spiritual sight is more acute and can see more of the spectrum of light than human sight.

So, to answer the question … I look a lot like I always looked in all the different phases of my life, but less tangible because I look like my aura which is an emanation of my spirit. But it contains all the emotions and thoughts and choices I made in my most recent physical life.

But you do have a body?

Of course, I have a body … but it’s different from a physical body! We have a tendency to recognize only one kind of body … the physical body … and completely overlook that we also have an emotional body … and a mental body … and a spiritual or astral body. The physical one isn’t here with me. But all the other ones are still a part of me and always will be. They are not enclosed within muscle and tissue and flesh, but they are just as real.

If I were to want you to see me in your dreams, for example … I would probably call on the appearance that you would be most comfortable with so that you would recognize me and not be afraid of me being there. Just because the physical body is no longer being used doesn’t mean that its appearance isn’t a part of who I am. My body was very much a part and parcel of my life … and its appearance is still here with me … but I am not contained within its boundaries anymore.

Oh, beloved … do you know how happy it would make me to dream about you? I would not be afraid of you! I would welcome that with open arms. But I don’t dream. Haven’t had a real dream since I was five-years-old. I think I shut that part of myself out back then and I haven’t let it re-awaken.

You do dream … you just don’t remember your dreams because you fear them. You and I are going to be working on that. You need to get rid of your fear first … because if you dream now, your dreams would be full of fearful images. We need to comfort that child who is cowering in fear in the bedroom in your heart … we need to embrace her and tell her that we know how afraid she is … and that we understand that she saw something that no child should ever see … and that then her mother lied to her instead of telling the truth about what she saw … but that is all over now … and help her overcome her fear. Then, that whole magical, imaginative dream world will open for you and you will be able to dream without fear. Have no fear, you are not alone for I am here with you! [Michael sings this.] We’ll work on it together.

Jan – December 14, 2010

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Conversations – Installment #5

Week of December 3 through December 10, 2010

Beloved, since we are discussing the topic of childhood and its results in our lives in-the-body and beyond, I have to ask the next question … and I am so sorry to bring up memories that might be painful for you … but we need to know. These are the kinds of questions interviewers should have been asking you all along, so that those who read or saw the interviews could know how to follow in your footsteps and take up the yoke of healing the world … and ourselves … when you dropped it to fly higher!

How did you overcome your own childhood? I mean, let’s face it … your childhood sucked! [Michael giggles. Oh come on now … it wasn’t that bad!]

Oh, yes it was, Michael! Please understand … for us it was beautiful … you were a sight to behold from the first step you took onto a stage until they carried you out of your rental home. Your joy in the music was infectious, your smile could light New York City in a blackout, your energy was nothing short of miraculous.

But for you, it was filled with abuse … physical, emotional and psychological … and fear … and heaped onto all of that were the unique problems that fame brought to a child! [There were good times, too, lots of them!] I pray that is true, beloved.

Many of us can relate to the abuse and the fear … but none of us can fully comprehend the latter … few can. Like the antithesis child from our previous conversations, whose experience of the symphony was filtered through the transistor radio and one earphone, your experience of childhood was a whole lot less than ideal and, yet, it resulted in an adult who was so filled with love that that love washed over and touched hundreds of thousands of hearts in a very personal way at once… drew them to you like a magnet draws paperclips … glowed through your skin and your eyes and your hands … and the Garden of Eden peaked out of its millenniums-old hiding place and danced with you for seventeen years in that recording studio you built to amplify the symphony across the entire planet!

You are the most passionately faith-filled, soulfully-aware, love-motivated being … spiritual or human … this planet has seen in a very long time. Some of us have also experienced painful childhoods and may not have healed from them as completely as you did. Will you share how you managed to leave all that behind and become the “light of the world” that you are?

Dang! I’m glad you weren’t one of those interviewers! You’re tough! Barbara Walters got nothin’ on you! And God bless you!

Hmmm, let me think about this one for a minute. Well, first of all … I always had music! I guess that could translate as I always heard the symphony very clearly and distinctly. I loved it so much … as a child and as an adult … I still do! I can’t even begin to describe how it moved me from the very first song my mother sang to me as a lullaby to the first song I ever heard on the radio to the last song I recorded. That never changed.

Some of you may have heard that I was going to devote a lot of my time in the future to making films … and that I was excited about taking that next step. And that is true, but it wasn’t because I had tired of making music; it was because I had accomplished what I could accomplish in the music field. I was tired of the politics, if you want to call it that, of the music industry. But, there was no place higher for me to go. I always had to be setting my goals higher, had to be striving to improve myself and the world. Where’s up from Thriller? Or BAD? Or We Are The World? My plans still included music, just used in a different context … scores for musicals and films was my next level … but the story line had to support the music and the music had to support the film. So, I had to be involved in every aspect of the production. And that’s where my ambition to bring both music and film to that next level came from.

And music, apparently, loved me. I think of Music and God as the same thing … two sides of the same coin. Music is the female aspect and God is the male aspect, but in my heart and mind, they are one entity. She was always so gentle with me; she comforted me when I was fearful, cradled me when I felt alone, protected me when I was afraid, welcomed me with open arms when I was adrift in the adult world I inhabited, drowned out my father’s rage. She demanded everything I had and then some … but she made me want to give her all that and more. I knew where I was … and where I wanted to go … and how to get there!

My mother had instilled in me an unshakeable faith in God, but she also showed me what unconditional love looked like through her own love for my brothers and sisters and me … as well as for every living creature she ever encountered as I was growing up. I didn’t get to be near her as much as I wanted to be because we were always touring and performing and recording, but her love for me and faith in me was strong enough to counteract the fear, anger and loneliness that I remember clouding those days.

To me, music was like my mother’s love, which was a reflection of the love of God … her love was what I compared God’s love to and music gave me that same warmth and acceptance … encouraging me to take the next step … lifting me up always. When we would go to Kingdom Hall and the preacher would refer to God as a “He,” my mind always switched it to a “she” because it was my mother who lived up to the perfection of God’s love in my mind.  When they talked about fearing God … that was a He … but loving God was always a She.

When I was little, I would go from the house where my father might be angry at one of my brothers or me to the recording studio and the music would just lift me out of that world and take me to a whole different place where I knew who I was … where I was beautiful even with my big nose and spotted face … where I felt completely and totally welcomed with all my warts and pimples … and I knew how to get what was needed to make the songs come alive … and no fear or sense of insecurity could touch me. It stayed that way all my life.

When she started to speak to me, when I started to transcribe what I was hearing in my head onto tape recorders and working on the songs in the recording studio, it was like music was allowing me to bring her into the world … like the birth of a baby. It occurs on its own, but the midwife or doctor is there to assist and ensure the safety of the mother and the baby. And a good midwife or doctor studies the latest procedures and methods because the safety of two human beings is in his hands. It’s like the song was my child.

That’s why this latest controversy with the music I left hurts me so badly. [May I just interject here, beloved … I have heard the entire album … which never would have happened if you were here because it won’t be officially released until the 14th … but it is absolutely wonderful. I love it all. Every song speaks to us about our situation and reminds us that you are still here, somehow! How do you do that? You are so present that when I close my eyes and let myself drift with the songs, I feel you with me!]

[Michael giggles.] Trade secret! Thank you! I’m so glad you like it! They are all my children. It’s just that someone else had to assist during the birthing process because the original midwife had left for another adventure. But I conceived them in love and carried them lovingly cradled in my mind and heart for their gestation! Those who did assist in the birthing process are my friends and will do their best to honor me in assisting the births of my babies. It’s like the fans rejecting or accusing Prince, Paris and Blanket of not being my children! Do you know how that would hurt? And some have even done that!

Yes, I know, beloved. I am sorry. If I could, I would hug you right now!

God bless you! I consider myself hugged! [Michael laughs.] And I hug you right back!

Anyway, I think each of us is given something that will show him the way home … something that shows him the gift he bears for the world he occupies. And make no mistake, we all bear a gift. The purpose of life is finding out what it is and giving it! Music was mine. It fulfilled me completely and gave me a goal to strive towards … ultimate perfection of that medium. I was fortunate to find that purpose so early in my life. Many don’t and search for a long time, never finally knowing that gift or using it for its intended purpose. Or they are drawn toward something, but talk themselves out of it because they don’t have the confidence and self-esteem to think that they can accomplish it. And the note they are meant to play in the overall composition fades when it should crescendo.

Yes, beloved, I can relate to that. You were fortunate. I was forty-three years old when you showed me my ‘passion,’ if you want to call it that … my bliss. But it feels like you’ve described. It feels like coming home … like this was what I was put on this earth at this time to do. Like finding your purpose after a long, long search! I, too, consider myself blessed by this ‘passion’ … and by these conversations!

Aww! That’s sweet! There were other epiphanies along the way … like discovering that the gift could be used to awaken others to their own special and unique gifts … their part in the symphony … and encouraging them to use those gifts  to help others or to heal the children or the planet … or to highlight areas that require the world’s attention … or any number of others. But I think music and faith were my saviors. “There but for the grace of God go I.”

And you have to realize that I had the best examples as a child to follow.

Surely, you aren’t serious, beloved. The examples in your young life were anything but perfect. You witnessed your father’s uncontrollable rages and violence against yourself and your brothers. You were in the next room when he conducted his affairs with fans! You were in the same room when your brothers exploited their fame, taking advantage of young fans! This one you are going to have to explain.

Yes … exactly. They were absolutely the best role models because they taught me about the man I didn’t want to be … they showed me the behavior I didn’t want to emulate when I became a man. I am so grateful that I always had a clear and present measure to compare myself against! When I saw myself beginning to go down that road, I could turn myself around and head in the other direction. And don’t forget, I had my mother’s love to counterbalance their example … and music to cradle me in my fearful times and, even, use as a weapon to get them off my back. So, I am grateful that I had such clear direction. They were just as much a guide for me as my mother, but in the opposite direction. It’s all in perspective.

Forgiveness is also important. Being able to forgive is the strongest and most divine of all the qualities a person can aspire to. Forgiveness of your own stumblings … forgiveness of your parents falls and mistakes … forgiveness of the world’s ignorance. All of them are important, but the most important of them is forgiveness of your own failings because all the others stem from that one! And that’s the one that most of us find the hardest. At least, I know I did!

Later, it was following my heart … knowing in my heart what I wanted to achieve … and not being willing to take “NO” for an answer. Being able to participate in others’ pain and the desire to do something about it and realizing that healing another’s pain has the magical ability to heal your own. That discovery was huge! I guess it was a combination of things that contributed to the person I became.

My mother always taught me that I was no better than anyone else to keep me grounded and from getting conceited … I just did a different job than most others … and I always remembered those words. What I did was not who I was. I think that we identify too much with the jobs we do … the roles we play … or the things we own.

Thank you, beloved, for being so open and discussing things so clearly with me. Now, I’m afraid that I am going to hurt you, again. Can we talk about Neverland?

Of course, what do you want to know?

Well, I saw an interview in which you said that Neverland was the “totality” of who you were with us. What did you mean by that?

Oh, boy! Well, at first when I saw Sycamore Valley Ranch during the Say, Say, Say filming, it spoke to me in a way that few places have. It was so serene and peaceful … nestled in the mountains … and so isolated that we could film there and not be disturbed by anyone. I saw it in my mind’s eye as it grew to be before I ever bought it … knew where I would put the amusement park and movie theater.

I’ve often spoken about being gifted with music, how it was always up there somewhere and just came through to me. Neverland was like that. The vision just popped into my head … already built … and all the children riding and having fun … and the movie theater with its magic show and the beds in the walls … the arcade games … and the grounds with all the animals … a full-blown vision that took my breath away … during the filming with Paul and Bob … and I saw it all right there in front of me. I knew in that moment that I had to buy the property and make that vision a reality. It was like a saint’s vision of God … so real! They thought I was having a heart attack or something … wanted to call a doctor! The looks on their faces were so … “okay, this guy is losin’ it!” [Michael giggles.] Toya is yankin’ on my arm, “What is the matter with you?” It was great!

This is so off the subject, but did you ever see the sculpture The Ecstasy of St. Theresa? [Yes, dear one, I have seen it … well, perhaps, I should say I’ve seen reproductions of it in art books of the period … it’s in the Vatican, isn’t it? Beautiful! It reminds me a lot of The Pieta!] Yeah, I think so. Did you know that there was a big uproar when it was first commissioned; some of the patrons saw it as pornographic! [Michael laughs!] It depicted St. Theresa in the throes of one of her visions of God and her position and the look on her face reminded the powers that be of what a woman’s orgiastic communion with her lover would look like. They almost destroyed the sculpture because they didn’t think it was appropriate for a sculpture of a saint to show so much physical pleasure! [Michael laughs loudly!] Saints are so serious and melancholy; they have no right to physical pleasure, I guess.

Sorry, but that kinda describes what my vision of Neverland was like when I first saw the property, so I guess it wasn’t totally off subject. It was like a complete and total body rush … felt in every part of your body … a whiplash of recognition … déjà vu … even though I had never been there before, it welcomed me home … a moment of grace, if you will.

Neverland, too, was my child, in a way. It was my canvas where I could paint my vision of heaven. When I was there and it was being built, the symphony we’ve spoken about so much in these conversations was so loud and so heart-breakingly sweet and so clear that If there had been a volume switch, I would have turned it down at times. It gave me such a sense of peace and tranquility just being there. It was an expression of the totality of me in every way.

When I was there, I could express the inner child that had been locked up inside me for so long … the one who longed to play ball and ride bikes or horses or jump on the trampoline when he had to be standing on an apple crate in front of a microphone for eight hours a day! He could be turned loose and run and play … like you saw in the Smooth Criminal film. [That is my favorite part of that film, beloved … when you are running and playing with the kids and throwing the ball. I just love that you finally got a chance to do that, even if it was only for one of your short films!] Yeah, me too!

It was a place where I could prove that we could love the earth back to its original, pristine enchantment … the Garden before the fall … where everywhere you looked you would see beauty … even on the cloudiest day. As a matter of fact, during a rainstorm, Neverland reached its peak of splendor. I used to love to go out and walk around the grounds during rainstorms … pet the animals in their enclosures … run around in the wet grass barefooted … just to dance under the trees and try to catch raindrops on my tongue! [Michael giggles.] Silly, I know! And then, there were these amazing rainbows after the rainfall that stretched from here into eternity. So unbelievably beautiful they could make me cry! [I got to see one of those, Michael! The day after Elizabeth’s birthday gala, when my friends and I went out to Neverland to drop off some gifts for you at the gate … as we were approaching from LA there was a brief cloudburst and we stopped along the coast to eat at a restaurant that was right on the beach … and leaving the restaurant the most beautiful, clear double rainbow stretched from the ocean over the hillsides. It was just breathtaking!] Aw, I’m glad you got to see that! Those rainbows were stunning.

And my Giving Tree … what can I say about my Giving Tree? It was so tall and so beautiful. When I would climb up into its branches, it was like getting a huge embrace from God! It was my private place, my meditation place, my joyful place, my quiet place all rolled into one. When I was there, I could just drift … unless music was tapping me on the shoulder and telling me to get busy … she could be really pushy at times!

Didn’t they know that if Neverland was being used for the purposes they suggested, it wouldn’t have looked like that? The fear of the children they said I was using for my own gratification would have been visible everywhere! Take a look at places where children … or anyone … is being exploited or kept against their will. They sure as heck don’t look like Neverland! It was love that made those flowers so colorful and beautiful and the trees grow so tall and full of life force and the grass so lush! Love! Not exploitation and deceit! Pure, unadulterated, unleashed LOVE! Of course, I had people working at the ranch who shared my love for the land and the location … that helped too … but it was all about L.O.V.E.!

When I was there, I didn’t have to be careful about letting that energy flow in me … or through me. I could be totally myself without any fear of anyone misunderstanding or misquoting me … at least, that’s how it felt. I could just skip through the grass … and twirl in a circle until I was dizzy … or lie down in the grass and forget about being who I was … and just BE. Sometimes, that love energy just floored me! It was so strong … it would pulse through me … like a strobe light at a concert … at odd moments when I was there and I could just envision it bursting out of me and covering the world! That happened when I was on stage a lot, too … there was no way to control or hide that, so I never tried!

That’s one of the reasons that Bashir’s betrayal caught me so unaware … he had been there … he had been inside the gates and wandered the grounds with me. He knew that I felt totally defenseless and unguarded there … an exposed nerve in a painful tooth … and he prodded that nerve with a metal instrument sending shockwaves of pain throughout my body … used that as a weapon against me. The ultimate betrayal!

Neverland allowed me to give free reign to my desire to help children. There I could touch them with God’s love and pray for his intercession in their suffering without being thought insane or egomaniacal. I could invite them and provide for them a place where healing … from their physical ills … from their emotional ailments … away from the cares and judgments of the world … was possible because it was filled with the life force … LOVE … in a safe, controlled environment.

Why did you leave it, beloved? You promised us you would never do that … what was it that finally drove you away? What was it like to leave?

Ah, God, why do you do this to me? You are so hard on me! [Michael’s voice contains tears!] Oh, God, baby, I am so sorry! I am so hugging you right now! Please, don’t answer, if you don’t want to!

No, no … it’s okay  … just give me a minute … and thanks for the hug! [Long pause.] Okay … Don’t think for a moment that I really want you to do this … nor do I want your readers to do this … this is just an illustration! Do you understand? DO NOT REALLY DO THIS! It’s an illustration only! [Yes, I understand … we all understand!]

Okay … take a razor blade and cut a patch of flesh about one inch square on your arm and then, grab a corner and rip that inch of flesh off! Repeat as necessary until there is not one square centimeter of flesh left on your entire body! That’s what it was like! It was like being skinned alive. It was like tearing an inch of my skin off at a time until my skeleton and muscles and nerve endings were completely exposed. Walking out of Neverland was like walking out of my soul! It had so nourished everything I was and wanted out of life. It had fed my dream of a better world for us and for all of our children and all of our children’s children. Walking away from it was like … giving up … something I had never allowed myself to do … it was like giving up … and letting evil win!

When Mr. T told me that he would never stop until he had run me out of HIS county … that my children would never be safe … I knew he was right … I had to leave … my children were my everything. I couldn’t keep them safe there any longer. Their safety and well-being … their happy and healthy childhoods … at least the best that I could give them … were being threatened … that had to be my first priority. If it had just been me … I probably would have tried to face him down regardless of how many times he came at me and raided my beautiful Garden … but I couldn’t expose my babies to his hatred and scorn. Do you know he once called me “that white n-word” within my hearing! Can you imagine that kind of bigotry … that kind of hatred? [Here Michael used the actual word, but I have a sensitivity to it … a left over from my childhood. I refuse to use it. He understands that.]

No, beloved, I can’t. God, I am so sorry that this world was not kinder to you. Mr. T?

Yeah, Thomas Mesereau, my lawyer.

He?

Um … I’ll leave that one up to your imagination. It shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out.

No, I think I’ve got it, beloved. Would you want Neverland rebuilt in your honor? Would you want it as a memorial to you … kinda like Graceland is for Elvis Presley … a place where your fans can go to feel close to you and to commemorate your many gifts to this world?

[Michael snorts.] You are in the wrong line of work, woman! That is a tough one. It’s tough because I know about the Gary, Indiana thing … and I know that you all feel lost and cast adrift in unfamiliar waters. So, I’ll try to answer this as honestly as I can.

The Gary thing is for my father and the family’s glorification. It’s not about me and never has been. That’s their thing! It’s just another project that will get bogged down and cost everyone a lot of money and not much will ever come of it because my father is not … um … very astute at business. I appreciate that the fans want a place to go, but I wouldn’t recommend buying too much into that particular project. It will be like many other projects he has undertaken and bear very little edible fruit. Unfortunately, my fans are being exploited for his paycheck … again! I love my family but they can be exasperating!

Let me be really clear. I love you all and I appreciate so much that you want a place that makes you feel close to me. I am grateful for all your love and support throughout all my time with you … and beyond. I know you feel lost … like my leaving has left a gaping hole that you want to fill with something of me. Please understand … that touches me more than I could ever tell you! And I am so grateful for all of you.

But Neverland is the past and it served its purpose for fifteen years. We … all of you and I … are headed toward the future … and the future is going to be beautiful. In this future, you will see that I have never left you. How much closer could I possibly be than right where I am … within your own hearts and minds? Lots of you are sensing my presence  … when you allow yourselves to … you have to combat the doubt that you are going crazy … and overcome that fear thing because you aren’t accustomed to thinking in this way. But a lot of you know that I am with you. Some of you are having your own conversations with me all the time … we are all conversing in some way … through the music I have left or through the performance or films or through the gifts that you have discovered along the way. Many more of you will be awakened to this knowledge when you get the new album … like you were awakened when you watched the filmed rehearsals for the O2 concert series … if you allow yourselves to awaken … it is always your choice … and there’s that fear thing again. For some, it will be a first meeting … for others it will be a further flowering of a long-standing relationship.

More and more will join us and we will build a Neverland that spans the planet! We will heal the world together! We will heal the children! We will blanket them all … every one of them … with love! We’ll find those that are lost and we will bring them home. We will cure the planet and raise our consciousness and Neverland will be built all by itself. It will grow like a Giving Tree from the healing and love in our hearts … without distracting any of us from our main purpose … which is and always has been … healing the world with love. That has always been my goal … to share my dream of a healed humanity and planet through my love of music and performance … and it hasn’t changed. And I’m told I can be pretty stubborn about my goals and visions for my projects! [Michael giggles.] Just ask anyone who ever worked with me.

So, while I am so grateful for the thought, I would rather that we all concentrate on the task at hand … making that change! Because when we change … the world changes!

May I ask one more question before we end this session, beloved?

Shoot!

Well, this one should be a little easier on you, I hope. One of my readers wants to know what you look like, now … what form you have taken. Can you tell us what you look like?

[Michael laughs!] You are so tough! You are asking me to write a book in two words or less. Let’s save that answer for the next session, but don’t forget it … because I have a lot to say on the subject.

Okay. I’m going to go and listen to Michael 2010, then. Goodnight, Dear One! I love you.

Enjoy! I love you more!

Jan – December 8, 2010

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Conversations – Installment #4

Conversations – Installment #4

Week of November 25, 2010 through December 2, 2010

Beloved, something that you said in our last conversation really struck me. Well, that’s not true … all of it really struck me … but one line stuck out among all the others. Could we discuss it in more detail?

You’ve been struck by … you’ve been struck by a smooth criminal. [Michael sings this under his breath.] Sure, what is it?

Well, you said, “Childhood follows us wherever we go and influences us until the day we die … and after.” You’ve explained how our experience of childhood affects our thoughts and reactions and emotions throughout our lifetime, but not after our lifetime. How can it continue to color our reactions even after our death?

Boy, you don’t miss a trick, do you? And you don’t let me off easy, either. Good, keep me honest! Okay, to explain this part of it, I’m going to need to lay a little background work again. But don’t worry … we’ve been here before.

I’ve already told you in our previous conversations that our bodies die, but the energy that animates our bodies and makes us who we are does not die. It goes on because energy cannot die as I explained in our first conversation. That energy … we’ll call it our spirit to make it easier for this conversation … is the essence of who we are. All of who we are is contained within it and it is shaped by all of our thoughts and choices and experiences that we gained in life as well as knowledge that is less accessible to us when we are still embodied … the knowledge of our spiritual essence, if you will. All of that continues on. In other words, we remain the individual who has been molded by our experiences of this life and the knowledge that all spirits bring into this life, but at the same time we are conscious of the Oneness from which we were separated for a time and our connections to it are reinforced and strengthened. We are in the Symphony fully and completely; it echoes and reverberates all around us and we are conscious of it and of our part in it. Are you with me?

Yes, dear one, I am with you always.

Okay, so let’s go back to our analogy that has been so useful in our previous conversations. One little note in the Symphony in the Key of L.O.V.E. has died and has removed the earthly, physical clothing to which it had been bonded at birth and which had grown with it until its last breath. It is freed of the physical vessel, but remains the individual without that clothing. Incidentally, the physical laws to which it was bound fast during its physical life drop away with the physical body … like gravity and physics and relativity and duality and all those seemingly inviolate rules no longer apply and that takes a little getting used to. But the individual is still the same individual spirit which has been molded and shaped by its earthly experience.

What do you mean, beloved, ‘takes a little getting used to?’

[Michael giggles.] Well, put yourself in the position of the spirit who has just vacated a physical body and to which the physical laws it had become accustomed to no longer apply for just a few moments. Imagine that you can think a thought … and poof … you’re there … that you can travel at the speed of thought! What would you do? How would that feel?

At first, I would think that would be a bit disorienting!  I don’t think I would make the connection right away and once I did make the connection, I think I would have to play with that for a while, wouldn’t I? I think I would have to try it over and over again until I had become accustomed to it to make sure it worked all the time or, if not, what made it work or kept it from working.

Exactly! Once you figured out that you had just thought about a place and you are magically there (which would take a little time in and of itself), you would experiment with that power like a child plays with a new concept or the most wonderful Christmas present he’d ever imagined until you had figured out that it would happen if you intended for it to happen. But it would take time to figure it out, wouldn’t it? And while you are playing with it, physical time is marching on, isn’t it? Physical time has 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year, etc. Right?

Right!

The thing is that time is different on the spiritual side of life than it is on the physical side of life. On this side of life, there is only the eternal NOW. No past, no future … just NOW … and every moment is contained in that time frame. So, it’s not that time moves faster or slower; it’s more like time becomes irrelevant, in a way.

Now, imagine that you can be drawn to more than one person’s side like a magnet … that you experience a ‘pull’ for lack of a better word at about the location of your navel towards multiple people at one time and experience that you are there with each of those whose thoughts are centered on you in love … regardless of how distant they are from one another … without being fragmented or torn apart … fully and completely present with each one! What would that feel like?

Same thing, beloved! Once I figured out what was happening, I would think that I would have to play with that concept for a while to make sure I understood it … and what caused it … and how it worked.

Exactly! And in the playing, you are learning how to navigate the world into which you have been born. And make no mistake, you have just been reborn!

Okay, now just for giggles, imagine that you are Michael Jackson and millions of people around the world have just heard of your death and every single one of them is reaching out with their souls for your presence in their shock and disbelief, calling you to them and drawing you like a magnet. [Michael giggles.] And you are with each and every one of them in the moment of their need, touching their hearts with calming reassurance, easing their tears by whispering in their ears that you are still there with them, embracing them with your love and reminding them that they are not alone and you will have a fair estimate of what the first few weeks (in your way of experiencing time) of my rebirth were like! [Michael laughs again.]

God bless you all!

My God, beloved, you once said that you often felt like a piece of spaghetti being pulled by millions of hands in life … and that feeling has carried over … even after! I am so sorry!

No, no … you don’t understand … don’t apologize. Can you possibly know how gratifying it is to know that you were loved and appreciated and honored to that extent by so many people in every location around the world … how grateful I am for all of you? Besides, you can’t scratch or claw me with your fingernails or pull my hair, anymore. [Michael giggles.] And when the recently reborn spirit becomes more accustomed to it, it becomes more adept … learns to control it a bit more. But the first few weeks were interesting!

It’s like we are all soul mates … and in a way that is true … we are! Or should I say symphony-mates? Each one of you shares a special soul connection with me – very, very personal … as well as universal – because of our shared purpose (remember that symphony?) That is why each of you is still receiving my message … and translating that message through your own individual experience filters to create projects like monthly prayer vigils to coat the world with L.O.V.E. (I love this!) or planting trees or visiting hospitals or collecting and donating toys for children at Christmas or dancing in large groups or writing children’s storybooks … and experiencing unexplained phenomena that you didn’t think were possible, including stopped watches or very real dreams, DVD players that turn on all by themselves or reading or writing these conversations. I love it all! It’s all so beautiful! Thank you, all of you, for keeping me so present in all your hearts! You’ve all made sure that the words of the song are true by being open to the possibility: You are not alone, for I am here with you!

Okay, so now comes the really great part. Imagine that you can dream your own world into being and it will manifest before your very eyes. Think about this carefully! Imagine that you can manifest instantly (with a little practice) your heart’s desire. You think it, you intend it … and there it is … right in front of you. How would that feel?

That would be astounding, beloved. I don’t think I would ever get used to that. It would also have to be used very, very carefully. The wrong thought … a doubt … or a fear … would put you in that situation! It could turn out to be very frightening! Someone who was not acclimated to this power would have to learn how to control his judgments and fears!

Yes, astounding is a good word for it. And you are right! You have to be very careful with that … as you should be being very careful with your thoughts while in the body! We talked about how fear and doubt clog the atmosphere with pollutants that hang above our world and keep love from shining down upon it. Humanity needs to learn to use care with their thoughts and emotions. Fear and doubt are very damaging!

Humans fear so many things but the major human fear is death; we fear this transition so dreadfully … for ourselves and for others. If we could eliminate this fear, what is there left to fear? Absolutely nothing! We all know that pain is only temporary and with modern medicine easily controlled. Just because we disappear from limited human physical sight, we think death is the end of everything. But it isn’t! In some ways, it’s the beginning of the greatest adventure you’ve ever heard about or read about or imagined. You want to fly? You don’t need pixie dust; just intend to fly! Or better yet, just think of the place you want to be and you are there … faster than flying and no peanut wrappers! You want to touch the sky? How about being the sky … or painting it … or singing it … or dancing it? You say you can’t dance or sing the sky? You wanna bet? I could play forever, here, and never get tired of it!

But, let’s return to your question. In our previous conversation, we discussed how childhood is the instrument through which our experience of the Symphony in the Key of L.O.V.E. is filtered. We saw how the two extreme experiences of childhood affected the hypothetical children we examined, right?

Absolutely, dear one, it was brilliant how you tied it all together with the analogy. Love it! And I love the “pretty little bow!”

Now, some more background information. When we die, we don’t float up into the ether and board some kind of trans-celestial flight to some other world or planet or plane. Instead, the physical world fades as we become more and more aware of ourselves as spiritual beings who have just completed a human experience … just as the spiritual world fades as we become more and more aware of ourselves as human beings when we are born into the physical world. Neither ever becomes totally lost in the other, but we determine how attuned we are to each by our thoughts and desires. The place doesn’t change; only the perspective changes. What changes is how we see the world and our place in it. We are no longer limited to our physical sense of sight! The parts of the spectrum of light that our sensory apparatus can’t see are suddenly revealed to us. In addition, we are gifted with a whole bunch of other senses that we don’t recognize as physical creatures.

I can’t tell you what happens to each of us when we die, because we each experience something different and, if we are still embodied, we haven’t created what we are going to experience at that point yet. Because what we experience in our lives influences what we create up until our very last physical breath, no more and no less. So, a person who believes in his moment of transition that he will be met by loved ones who will take him into a bright light will experience that; a person who believes that he will walk through a long tunnel toward a light will experience that. A person who believes that he will stand in front of a judge and jury to decide his fate will experience that. A person who believes that he will be in a horrifying place filled with fire and pain will experience that! It is very individual and it is created in our minds by what we believe … by our thoughts.

So, back to our analogy. We have the child who has heard the symphony through a transistor radio and one earphone … not a true reproduction of the symphony at all. His childhood was filled with fear and abuse and his life was spent with a ‘what’s in it for me’ outlook which colored all of his relationships and reactions and thoughts. What kind of afterlife experience do you think this child will have when he dies? Will he suddenly be able to drop those fear-based thoughts and reactions to create a love-based paradise for himself or will his environment mirror his selfishness, his despair, his violence, his lack of respect and disregard for himself and his world?

No, beloved, I am afraid that this child will continue to create a fear-based afterlife because it’s the only thing he has known. Perhaps, this child will see devils and demons and experience something closely resembling hell or, at least, a similar experience to what he had in the body which was not so very different from hell, was it?

Very good … we’ll talk more about what you just said in a minute. The one thing you forgot is that this spirit will not recognize that he is doing this to himself for a very long time. Remember? Because one of his thoughts is that everything and everyone is out to get him, that the universe is conspiring against him, that God has thrust him into the fiery pit! He never could take any responsibility for his own actions or thoughts or emotions or violence. That isn’t going to change because he is still the same individual that he was in life. So, the saddest part of all of this is that he will suffer this agony until he figures out that he is causing it himself at which time he will stop tormenting himself and become more open to the possibility that it doesn’t have to be this way!

But let’s continue with the ideal child whose childhood and adulthood have been shaped by the true reproduction of the recording studio and who has heard the symphony through love-based experiences and who respects the earth and all of God’s creation with the same fervor with which he was nourished … what kind of experience will he create after his physical life is ended and he is free to manifest what his imagination is capable of dreaming?

Well, I imagine he will create something closely resembling heaven.

Exactly! And since both of these creations are occurring right here … since there is no trans-celestial flight to someplace else … where do you think both of these creations are going to manifest?

Right here? They will both be manifested right here on our beautiful Mother Earth.

Right! I’ve also told you earlier about how fear and doubt pollute the atmosphere of our world as if we were in a closed space with hundreds of cigarettes’ smoke hanging in the air. That goes for those who are in the body as well as those who are out of the body. The contagion and pollution are becoming more than the earth can reconcile. More and more children are being deprived of a healthy childhood and are manifesting violent, self-centered, fear-based adulthoods … and afterlives … filled with the same miasma of toxic waste products hanging in the air that we are all breathing. Fewer and fewer children are being nurtured and cared for with love and respect for the little souls they were intended to be which translates to fewer and fewer adulthoods based on love and care for Mother Earth and the other humans who inhabit their worlds … and fewer and fewer afterlives that can balance the fear-based toxic wastes that are being emitted into the atmosphere by all those whose thoughts are filled with violence and fear … both in and out of the body.

It is becoming an almost irreconcilable imbalance. We have to make a change for the better … and soon. And the place we have to start is with our children … by providing them with the tools they need … the space and freedom to engage their imaginations without fear … to dream their dreams without ridicule … and manifest those dreams of a better, more love-based Earth … and heaven.

Now, let’s go back to the point you made earlier about the antithesis child creating a fear or violence-based hell because that was all he knew. Then, you said “or, at least, a similar experience to what he had in the body which was not so very different from hell, was it?”

What you said is very perceptive. We are creating our own heavens … and our own hells … with our thoughts and beliefs. This affects not only our afterlife … but also our in-the-body life. We are living in our minds … in our thoughts and emotions … in our beliefs and in the things to which we give our attention. When we inhabit a physical body we are blissfully unaware that the things we are putting into our minds are creating the reality we are experiencing in the physical world but without the immediacy and we don’t recognize the connection. But when we vacate that body we see it much more clearly. So, learning to control our thoughts and emotions and the things that we place our attention on … well, you can see how important they are! It is from these raw materials that we create our world and the reality we experience in it.

We could look at physical life as the rehearsal for the afterlife, in a way. If we believe in our dreams and learn what we need to know to achieve them … if we see a goal and strive to attain it with all our heart, putting everything we have and are into that effort … putting it all on the line … we can manifest our dreams in our physical lives. I was so fortunate to have the freedom to dream and dream BIG, and many of my dreams became reality. That experience was a wonderful practice session for the afterlife when we manifest more readily, but with no less effort!

Beloved, I have to ask you this question because I have a strong opinion on what your answer will be … all the new songs that I am hearing are all reassuring us that you are still here with us. Did you know? In the months leading up to your passing, did you know you were leaving us?

Hmmm! That is a good question. But tell me what you mean, first.

Well, there are a whole lot of little things. For example, in This Is It … during the J5 numbers … you stopped and thanked your brothers as you always do. But, then, you did something that I’ve never seen or heard of you doing before. You mentioned your mother and father and said “Katherine and Joseph, God bless you.” When I heard that the first time, something in me clicked and I heard the words echoing in my mind, “he knew!”

And a LOT of your songs, even the older ones that I’ve listened to over and over again for years, feel different to me now. They all speak of comfort and lifting us out of our sadness and anger and disbelief that our world can even continue to spin without its heart and soul … that the sun can continue to shine without its light.

And the new songs that I’ve heard all speak of things like “nothing can come between us if you just hold my hand” or “close your eyes, imagine me taking you away” and “keepin’ your head up to the sky, keepin’ your mind up stay alive, gimme your wings so we can fly” and “my life has taken me beyond the planets and the stars; you’re the only one that could take me this far; I’ll be forever searching for your love.” I don’t know how to explain it. They all seem to reach out and comfort us! So, I think you knew.

Not knew exactly … a feeling, I guess you could say. I think my soul knew … my body was fighting it. I shared the fears that all humans’ fear. I was no different than any of you. But I think my soul knew. I was afraid for the last several weeks … not sleeping … not eating properly … not drinking. And I was working again … hard! My insomnia had increased after 2005 and I was often in pain with my back, so there was really no comfortable way for me to sleep. So, I didn’t sleep.

As far as what you’re hearing in the songs, a lot of that could be your interpretation … not that it would make it any less real … it’s just that that’s what your soul and your heart need to hear right now and I am glad you are hearing it in the music I left you. I was excited about getting to work on these songs and making them perfect. But they’re good songs as they are. I wish the fans would stop fighting about them and calling each other names because they don’t agree. If you don’t like them, don’t listen! If they speak to you, listen! End of story.

I can feel your disunity. I can hear your anger and belittling each other over my gifts to you. It makes me very sad and angry. Please stop it!

Jan – December 2, 2010

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