Conversations – Installment #74

April 15 through April 26, 2013

Michael, our last little chat was a very difficult one. Reliving your pain and anguish is hard for us … for me, personally, as well as for my readers. Is it difficult for you to talk about these things?

No, not at all. I remember things very vividly, but no longer feel the pain of them. I see a bigger picture – a more expanded view – now. As I’ve told you before, each of the occurrences in our lives has a purpose, whether we realize it or not. Each bears a gift. If we can dig amidst the rubble to find that gift … to recognize it and use it … we can go a long way to cauterizing the wounds and healing the pain.

For example, my painful childhood was difficult … no one could deny that … but the gifts that resulted from it were many and extremely profound … and not just on a personal level. The development of my singing and dancing, my empathy for the plight of the abused and oppressed, my aching need to give in the best and most perfect way I could to relieve the suffering of the children, the dream of Neverland, my desire to heal our wounded planet … all had their roots buried deep in the soil of that childhood. Would I give up all of those intensely valuable gifts for a less painful childhood? No! Each of them gave me great joy. And the blessings continue to travel outward to this day.

Beloved, what possible gift could the events surrounding that trial have borne to make your suffering worth it? I just can’t see any conceivable benefit that could have accrued to justify even one tiny, little moment of what you endured.

I know you can’t … I couldn’t, at first, either. It’s because of the blinders of your earthly experience. When they are removed, the blessings become a bit more obvious.

For example, one of the more obvious gifts the trial brought to me was something that you’ve mentioned time and time again, here. We’ve all often heard the adage that “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.” It is true. This speaks to the discussions we’ve had about being a warrior; I needed a warrior’s strength to get through that trial … and I found it … and I still don’t know how … at least enough of it to survive … in my innocence, in God’s promises, in your love. I got through it; I survived. I am so grateful.

Additionally, some of the people watching the news coverage saw what you see in photographs of that time.

Yes, I have to admit that photographs taken of you during the trial period are some of my favorite photographs. I am so drawn to them. I see the pain in your eyes, the unvarnished exhaustion, the disappointment and disillusionment. Your eyes so clearly mirror your soul during this period. But, I also see the strength, the dignity, the beauty, the purpose, the determination, the love that has been twisted and distorted by ignorance, but to which you continue to cling tenaciously in spite of all you endured. I find so much to admire … so much to inspire … so much to learn … in them.

God bless you! One of the less obvious gifts the trial bore has to do with something we’ve discussed a lot in these conversations … it’s those ripples again … unseen, unheard and undetected, but they are definitely real. Many had never really paid attention before, but the coverage of the trial brought me into their field of vision. What they saw in me as I walked into and out of that courtroom didn’t correlate with what they’d read in the press for years. Some who had been apathetic, indifferent, unengaged became more aware, more conscious. It made them curious because they saw something in me they hadn’t expected to see and, then, when the verdicts didn’t jive with the coverage they’d heard and read, they couldn’t understand how such a ‘cut and dried’ case had ended with fourteen ‘not-guilty’ verdicts. Through the video clips and photographs, they became more open to the truth and began to entertain the possibility that, perhaps, there was more here than met the eye. Was it possible that they had missed something … that their journalists and pundits were not telling them the unembellished truth about this man to whom they’d never really given much thought?

Yes, and we all know what happens when someone gives Michael Jackson even the smallest chink of an opening … even the tiniest thought of “maybe I didn’t know this man at all” in one’s heart. You move in … lock, stock and barrel. You are the perfect example of “give him an inch, he will take a mile,” but never by force or fear.

[Michael laughs.] You forget … I have to be invited … and, once again, you make me sound like a bad rash!

Well, if you’re a bad rash, I don’t ever want a cure. I’ll take the rash any day! You can keep your hydrocortisone cream and preparationH.

[Michael laughs … loudly.] PreparationH … that’s funny!

I believe one of my acquaintances is just such a one as you describe. She became very curious about you during the trial coverage through forced inactivity (although she had trouble watching it.) You nudged her curiosity, just as you nudged mine in the early days of our courtship … and she has gone on to write a very sympathetic book regarding your residence in Las Vegas.

See what I mean? Ripples. They are an abstract concept most of the time. They are silent and you don’t even know they are there until one of them knocks the wind out of you … like that train that hit you. Then, all of a sudden, something happens and, as a result, you look inward and become curious; your curiosity leads you to investigate more thoroughly … to read, to watch, to learn. You ask yourself, “how is it possible that I had such a distorted view?” and “why didn’t I pay more attention?” And in this frame of self-reflection, eventually, you start to try to trace the movement of the ripples across the still pond back to the moment of impact when the pebble broke the surface of the water.

If you think about it, isn’t that what our Conversations have been all about from the very beginning?

Yes, indeed, my Dear One … it is … and thank you for your clarity!

[Michael giggles.] Thank you for your openness.

Another overlooked gift of that time was the affirmation it contained for me, personally. It re-confirmed my conscious choice to live my life as I had chosen to live it … with the openness, innocence, awe, wonder and trust of a child.

Okay, Baby, that one requires a little more elaboration. From my viewpoint, I can’t see how anything about that time could have been seen as an affirmation.

Well, let me ask you this. Did you find the behavior of the prosecutors and media attractive?

Attractive? Heavens no!  They practically trampled each other in their eagerness to file their biased, one-sided, slanted stories and they were all the same. It was very frustrating. Their preening “on the ground” assets exhibited their true narcissistic natures in their fights to out-lie each other, outdo each other, out-nasty each other, out-bid each other for audience share.

No, I found absolutely nothing attractive in their behavior. Most of them were repulsive … and none more so than the prosecutor! His unyielding lack of courtesy, resolute refusal to accept defeat, mulish adherence to his closed-minded point of view, inability to see past his own, personal prejudices and ravenous hold on his belief in your guilt (which he knew was manufactured because he was the one who manufactured it in his own sick, misguided mind) to justify his discriminatory behavior after the verdicts were read … and in the ensuing years … certainly more than justifies his moniker of “Mad Dog.”

Exactly! Neither did I. The ugliness of their behavior throughout the events leading up to … and including … the trial, itself, and its aftermath was written all over their actions and faces. Their anger over me “getting off scott free” or “getting away with it” because of my “star power” … their barely concealed prejudice … their continuing efforts to justify their actions only serve to provide further acknowledgement of their guilt … not mine.

Who would want to emulate such ugliness? Who would want to imitate or model that kind of unattractive example? Did their behavior inspire anyone to greater purpose? Was it uplifting? They had the entire world watching; they will never have that universal platform to speak to the world again. Look how they used it. They could have used it to inspire … to motivate … to encourage. What a wasted opportunity!

Every day create your history
Every page you turn, you’re writing your legacy 

You were repulsed by their behavior … but you were attracted to mine. You were not alone. All of the ripples haven’t reached the shore, yet. More and more are arriving every day, everywhere! This is not a small pond we’re talking about. WE ARE THE WORLD!

It’s not over. I told you before. The best is yet to come! Didn’t you believe me?

Well, Beloved, I hope we can be forgiven for being a little confused. I mean, after all, death usually means it’s over.

 Yes, it’s a common misunderstanding. We are working on that misunderstanding. Together. Patience.

Okay … patience. [Jan laughs.] You drive a hard bargain, sir!

In our last conversation, Beloved, you described how you had lost your faith. How did you find it again?

Oh, boy! Now, there’s a million dollar question! Wow! That’s gonna take some time and thought to answer.

I know this will undoubtedly come as a surprise to you, but sometimes, we, too, lose faith in everything.

Oh, yes! You shock me! [Michael laughs.]

I remember the seven years that I spent “growing up” … or, in your analogy, being in ‘standby’ mode … as a time when my faith in just about everything was shaken to its foundations.

And can you remember what restored it?

Yes, you did … AGAIN … except this time I really didn’t like your methods.

[Michael snorts.] Sorry. But, as you can see, I am still here … and we are still “in love” and always will be.

I know it’s hard to see when you are in the grip of those crises, but what you are experiencing is a prelude to bigger and better things. It’s like an old building being demolished so that new construction can begin. No building was ever demolished without breaking some windows. That new construction needs to be built on a firm foundation so that it will stand the test of time.

I think it’s important, too, to understand that as long as you’re still alive, there is hope. Nothing is permanent; life is all about change. Even the most horrifying situation will change; it’s up to you HOW it changes.

When your whole world crashes down around your head, there is a process you go through … and you have to honor that process … give yourself the time and space you need to go through the steps of that process.

You need to tread water through the tears to remain afloat. You need to swim through the “it’s not fairs” to begin your journey back. You need to wade through the anger and the pain to get to the other side. There are no shortcuts for any of us. It’s a long, hard, arduous climb. It takes time to regroup when you’ve been beaten down so far that you have to look up to see the roots of the agony; it takes compassion … for yourself … to heal those wounds. You can’t deny the stages or skip them; you can’t repress them because they pop up in other ways.

One of the most difficult hurdles, for me, personally, was overcoming the hate. I had never truly hated anyone or anything before. But once I fell into that trap, I didn’t know what to do with those feelings … or how to stop them. The anger fed the hate and the hate fed the anger. I didn’t recognize the ‘me’ that was doing all this hating. And I didn’t like him! I was a stranger to myself in this. Does that make any sense?

Oh, yes, Michael. I so recognize that feeling.

Those negative thought spirals have a firm grip. The desire for vengeance is so seductive and the longer you wallow in that seduction, the harder it gets to climb out of it.

Dangerous
The girl is so dangerous
Take away my money
Throw away my time
You can call me honey
But you’re no damn good for me 

The guilt over finally succumbing to hate and the desire for vengeance … over letting you all down … kept me paralyzed for a while. That’s why I tell you how damaging those negative emotions are … not to the ones at whom they are directed … but to you … how they keep you imprisoned. They keep you tied down and helpless against the ravages of guilt and remorse.

The only way to loosen their grip is to break the cycle in your thought patterns and redirect them into more healing, beneficial energies … for your own organism … and for the world organism. When you see how insidious those kinds of thoughts are and how they are keeping you immobilized and unmotivated, realize that they are holding you back from achieving what you know is your purpose, then you can begin to  have faith that you can get through them, and that there are brighter days ahead.  And, then, you need to redirect your thoughts … consciously.

When you find yourself slipping down that slippery slope into anger or hatred or resentment or worry or “what’s the use” … or any number of other paralyzing, negative thoughts, you need to consciously STOP and REFOCUS.

Just keep your eyes on the prize
And your feet flat on the ground
And Keep the Faith
Because it’s just a matter of time
Before your confidence will win out
But you got to keep the faith. 

At first, it will feel like you are faking it or being inauthentic, like you are just going through the motions with no real engagement. But, eventually, you can begin to see a little bit of light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. With time and practice, the light expands … just like it did when we were visualizing for the trial of Conrad Murray.

Initially, it was awkward sending love and light into a building … sweeping out all the dark corners and toilets … but, eventually, through “practice, practice, practice until you get it right … and, then, practice some more until you get it beautiful” it becomes natural and comfortable … and extremely beautiful. And the results of your efforts are profound, both personally and in their impact on your world. Personally, you healed your heart of the hatred and vengeful feelings, but you also impacted the outcome by envisioning the highest and best outcome for everyone concerned.

It’s the same thing I taught the children suffering from cancer. Visualize cleaning up all the harmful, negative, paralyzing cells [thoughts.] Make a little space for the miracle [healing] to enter the room. Invite God into the situation and stand back. The results may surprise you. As a matter of fact, it’s a sure bet! 

I was helped enormously by having my children with me. I had to remain strong for them; they needed their daddy. They were too young to understand what was happening; they didn’t know about lack of faith or the reason they had to move from their home.  I had to shield them from my grief at losing Neverland. To them, it was a great adventure … a thrilling adventure … and it was my job, as their daddy, to reinforce their sense of excitement, their curiosity and eagerness to learn from their change in circumstances. We taught them about the different countries they visited, their cultures and stories. Their innocence and wonder, their love and trust and faith in me, went a long way toward restoring my faith in myself. Reading to them from educational and beautiful and positive books helped me to bring my mind back from the edge of those negative thoughts and emotions and rekindled my natural curiosity, a blessing with which I had always been graced.

Being able to work on my music also helped to lift me out of those negative spirals, as it always had. When I was a child, and fear had me in its grip, music lifted me away from fear. That was true, too, after the trial. Once I had recovered some equilibrium, Music took over and carried me the rest of the way.

We’ve been
Together
For such a long time, now
Music
Music and me 

Don’t care
Whether
All our songs rhyme, now
Music
Music and me 

All I know
Wherever I go
We’re as close
As two friends can be 

There have
Been others
But never two lovers like
Music
Music and me

We’ve talked often about my special relationship with Music, so I know you understand. Putting the trial behind me and returning to the warm embrace of God in the Music was extremely restorative for me.

I was just getting back on my feet through the rehearsals, letting the music and my love of dancing and performing carry me the rest of the way home when I was called to a Higher Purpose.

Well, really, it’s the same Purpose, just on a broader, more inclusive, yet more intimate scale, I guess you could say.

So, I guess the steps I took are the same steps I have recommended for you throughout these dialogs. Honor the process … stop and consciously refocus your thoughts … clear away the negative, harmful residues left over from your resentments … shine love and light on the situation … visualize the perfect outcome … express your God-given gifts … and get out of the way … let your dreams come true … SHINE!

There ya go! ESSENCE! Go grab the perfume bottles.

Jan – April 26, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

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Conversations – Installment #73

April 6 through April 13, 2013

Beloved, can we discuss a time in your life that anyone with a heart would have to consider an extremely low point?

Of course … nothing is off limits … what point is that?

Well, during 2007-2009, according to reports I’ve read in several recently-published books, (Defending a King: His Life and Legacy by Karen Moriarty and Untouchable: The Strange Life and Tragic Death of Michael Jackson by Randall Sullivan,) you experienced a period of reduced motivation, depression, isolation, anxiety and chronic, debilitating insomnia. Although working on a ‘comeback album’ intermittently, it is described by the authors (who admittedly were not there and, therefore, must be taken as hearsay) as almost a half-hearted project (something which was totally unprecedented in your work ethic.) In other words, your total dedication to excellence and 100% perfect execution appear to be missing from these recording sessions.

You were living in Las Vegas and returning to the Los Angeles area to begin working on your return to the stage and several authors have portrayed you in classic terms of clinical depression … lacking in motivation, surrounded only by security personnel, your movements restricted to ‘house arrest,’ literally, with even the front door of the house being off-limits due to its exposure and inherent increased security risk.

The authors referred to your nearly total ‘abandonment’ by your so-called friends in the entertainment industry; your incessant fear of attack and kidnapping, resulting in security measures most commonly encountered in cloak-and-dagger, action/adventure films …those reserved for the protection of diplomats, royalty and heads-of-state, … but, otherwise,  rarely encountered in real life. They outlined how your vast financial empire was allowed to founder  through a lack of proper oversight, its many-tentacles overlooked by splinter groups of advisors.  With no one person or group firmly and irrevocably in the driver’s seat, the self-interests of the splinter groups always vying for position and ultimate dominance over your person and your empire, its rapid decline was aided and abetted by multiple legal actions. The authors (one of whom I respect, the other I am reserving judgment on) stipulated how you were deliberately kept uninformed of the day-to-day machinations of your advisors and strapped for liquid assets and how your reputation was manipulated by the people you trusted to oversee your business affairs.

Your beautiful home, into which you had poured your heart and soul and dreams for seventeen years, was lost to you; you had proclaimed that you would never return to Neverland to live and the property, itself, had fallen into disrepair and neglect and was facing foreclosure. The animals had been shipped to other sanctuaries, the rides dismantled and sold to far flung parts of the country and your personal possessions were stripped from the home and outbuildings and stored in warehouses where some were exposed to auction without your knowledge or consent. You and your children were living like nomads … well-healed nomads … but nomads, nonetheless, with no place to call your own, no sanctuary.

This, in addition to the horror of the trial, which I am sure was still a fresh and very raw wound, added to the media’s shameless ongoing persecution, even after a jury unanimously proclaimed you completely exonerated…and its continuing efforts to pull you down to its barbaric level … took a terrible toll on you spiritually and emotionally.

It appears from the descriptions I’ve read of you during that time that you had lost your faith.

Yes, does that surprise you? 

Definitely not, my Dear One! What surprises me is that with all you endured through those years … the betrayal, the manipulation, the fear of assassination or kidnap, the abandonment, the pressure, the loneliness … you continued to breathe, at all … and I am so grateful that you did.  On the contrary, your strength and resilience, your dignity under indescribable pressure, your kindness, graciousness and customary politeness toward the few people who shared your exile with you in the midst of incessant turmoil (which is also described in those books), your gentle strength with your children and total joyful surrender to the demands of single parenthood … all of these are a source of never-ending inspiration to me, which is why I brought the subject up to begin with.

I want to know how you did it … how did you overcome the very human tendency to lash out in anger and pain … how did you never become bitter and turn to hate … how did you steer clear of seeking vengeance against those who had so wronged you … physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically? What are the mechanics of that resistance … I want to learn from it … and can I bottle it? I think I would make a considerable fortune.

[Michael laughs.] Yes, we’ll bottle it in little tiny perfume bottles. Let’s call it ESSENCE!

I wish it were that simple.

So do I, Michael. Sometimes, we feel depressed with much less provocation.   Sometimes, we just shake our heads at the ignorance we encounter in the world around us. Sometimes, we all feel abandoned or lose faith in your presence. We panic because we feel you less strongly or we hear you less clearly or we see you less often. I’m sure the market … just among your children … would support ESSENCE! And that’s not even taking into consideration the world outside the fan community.

Well, as we’ve said before many times,  therein lies your mistake … in that panic which leads to lack of faith … which leads to doubt that you ever experienced this phenomenon at all … which leads to ‘you’re crazy’ … and on and on and on.

Yes, I see. Let’s see if I can explain.

After the trial, it will come as no surprise to anyone that I needed healing. You recall that I left the country almost immediately. I was alive, but I wasn’t living. I was able to walk … barely … and talk somewhat coherently … but I was not able to think clearly. I was on emotional and spiritual life support. I had survived, and I had struggled to retain some small degree of dignity through the grueling months of the trial by the skin of my teeth, but it was a hollow victory. I was exhausted from the effort … not eating … not sleeping at all … and there were casualties … collateral damage, if you will. The five months of that trial tore strips off my soul that couldn’t easily be replaced.

We’ve talked before in these conversations about my extreme sensitivity to the prevailing emotional climate when we spoke about that ‘wall of love’ that so lifted me up when I performed on all those stages … as well as my ability to feel the pain and desperation of all the sick and forgotten children of the world. That’s the upside of the level of sensitivity I was blessed with; this is the down side.

To be exposed to so much hatred and jealousy and greed … to be surrounded day after day by suspicion and scorn and the lowest human energies of self-interest and shame, the media’s willingness to lie, to profit by reporting only one side of the trial, its desire to pull me down to its level … these are very damaging to any organism. They affect one’s ability to focus. And we’ve spoken a great deal about the power of focus in these dialogs.

That’s why it’s so important to me that all of you remain focused in our love … in our connection … through all the storms that you experience. Please don’t get so caught up in the thunder and lightning; look, instead, at the rainbow! Don’t let your focus waver; remain in the ONENESS with me. Let me see if I can explain more clearly.

This life don’t last forever
So tell me what we’re waiting for
We’re better off being together
Than being miserable alone

Cuz I’ve been there before
And you’ve been there before
But together we can be alright
When it gets cold and when it gets dark
We’ll hold each other til we see the sunlight
Hold my hand

I was just like all of you. I suffered from all the same doubts and fears; the same uncertainties and insecurities that plague all of you plagued me, too, but they were magnified enormously by the fact that my life was lived so much in the public eye. I felt like every camera in the world was trained on me and all were hoping to catch me in an undignified moment, an indiscrete gesture or with a tear escaping from my eyes. I had to go to ground, to become invisible … like a wounded animal seeks a place to burrow into and lick his wounds before emerging again whole and strong. But how does Michael Jackson become invisible when his face, his walk, his silhouette are recognized in every corner of the globe?

Of course, because I am who I am … I couldn’t just find a hole and crawl into it and cover my head until the world was a little older, its memory a little less clear. Friends offered me sanctuary; but the people who offered me the respite I needed hoped to gain from their generosity … in fame … or record deals … or endorsements … or whatever. So, even my hiding places had strings attached, which I discovered much later when the lawsuits started building up and that added to the mountain of things to be overcome.

I don’t think it would be surprising to anyone that I lost my faith for a time … my faith in people, my faith in friendship, my faith in love and its power to heal all wounds, my faith in goodness and innocence, my faith in MAGIC, my faith in my mission and my purpose, my faith in children, my faith in myself and my talent and my faith in my connection with Music that had sustained me throughout all the traumas of my life to that point were casualties. I never completely lost my faith in God, but it was a very near thing, because I was angry and I was hurt and I felt She had abandoned me. And I never completely lost my faith in all of you, my children. But I did feel that I had let you all down.

Oh, Michael, how could you feel that you had let us down? You never let us down or disappointed us.

God bless you! But I felt I had … and I had always promised myself that I would never do that. I couldn’t understand how my life had taken such a terrible turn, what I had done to cause the world to turn so viciously against me.

Do you remember how you described how a ‘negative’ mind set just took you over for a while … how it followed you around like a dark cloud and you couldn’t find your way out of it?

Oh, yes, my Dear One … I remember … it was terrible. It was drudgery just getting through each day. Getting up and going to work and trying to act like a normal human being when my heart and soul were aching and empty and in so much misery took every bit of energy I had. There was nothing left over for self-improvement or vision or dreams or anything else.

There ya go! Then, you understand! I was no different from any of you. Now, that you have some distance from that time, can you describe it more clearly?

I don’t know. It seemed like the more I worried about the things that were happening, the worse things got.

You Are There 4/10/13 Colored Pencil

Exactly. That’s it in a nutshell. It was the same with me. By continuing to worry about all the pressures, to feel guilty about letting you down, to think about how wounded and victimized I was, how unfair it all was … just made it all worse, because my focus was misaligned.

All my life, I had focused all my attention on pulling the music into me and out of me, of working and molding it until it was as close to perfect as humanly possible, and, then, of sharing it with all of you … of using it to heal the wounds of disharmony and division, of healing the children and giving them a healed childhood. And I was grateful to be able to accomplish those goals. I was blessed and although my life was not easy, it was charmed. I always realized that and I was always grateful.

During the period we are discussing, an invisible seismic shift occurred. All my attention was focused on healing myself. I had turned inward. Instead of giving, I was lacking. Instead of healing, I was wounded. Instead of drawing from the Source in order to give to others, I was hoarding. Instead of “what can I give,” my focus had shifted to “what can I get.” And my gratitude for all the blessings God had given me was buried under a mountain of “why me?”

And, I have to be totally honest, here … since you asked … you are, once again, giving me more credit than I deserve.I hope you all won’t be disappointed … but I have a confession to make. I DID turn to bitterness and hatred as a result of a complete loss of innocence, for a time. I had never believed that someone would KNOWINGLY and with MALICE print lies! Yet, that is what happened. I never believed that someone would KNOWINGLY and with MALICE harass a person until he leaves his beautiful home. Yet, that is what happened. 

I’m not proud of it, and I have forgiven myself for it and been healed… but I did hate those who caused the events surrounding the trial. Instead of dreaming of capturing the music and molding it to improve the world, I dreamed of vengeance against those who took pleasure in my pain. Does that shock you?

Not at all, my beautiful Beloved … I am relieved … it makes you a bit more human and even more remarkable in my eyes.

Yeah, but we won’t sell much ESSENCE that way! [Michael giggles.]

You see, I did let you all down. I gave up my dreams and my goals to bring joy and unity to the world for anger and division, for a while. Unfortunately, the consequences of those thoughts were longer-lasting than the thoughts themselves. It’s like a drug addiction. You get a few hours of the ‘high’ but the damage you do to your soul lasts forever.

We’re disconnected from love, we’re disrespecting each other
Whatever happened to protecting each other
Poisoned your body and your soul for a minute of pleasure,
But the damage that you’ve done is gonna last forever.
Babies being born in the world already drug addicted and afflicted,
Family values are contradicted.
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, the pressure’s building and I’ve had enough.

How can we preach, when all we make this world to be
Is a living hell torturing our minds.
We all must unite, turn darkness to light,
And the love in our hearts will shine.
 

I toughened up, which is something I never, ever wanted to do. I am neither a saint nor perfect. But even saints are human; even Jesus was human. He had his dark night of the soul and cried out, “Father, Father, why hast thou forsaken me?”

I know from firsthand experience what happens when you get caught up in the anger and hatred, the lies and the desire for vengeance. That’s why I want to caution all of you against it. Whatever I can do to help you … all of you … to steer clear of those traps and pitfalls, I will do.

I tell you what, you’re reading a book right now that explains this in simple language. Will you try to summarize what you’ve read, so far, here?

Sure, well the book’s name is Force vs. Power:  The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. The book describes what the author calls a sure-fire method of determining TRUTH because, according to the author, truth is dependent upon context, which he breaks down to motivation.

Briefly, Dr. Hawkins has proposed a ‘map of human consciousness’ which determines human behavior and breaks behavior down, in simple terms,  to high level energies and low level energies, power and force, life-supporting and life-destroying, respectively. In his book, he equates high level energies to noble motivations such as love, compassion, healing, raising consciousness, striving for excellence and seeking truth … and low level energies to selfish motivations such as anger, greed, guilt, shame, self-interest and falsehood. He has worked out a mathematical formula for assigning numerical values to various motivations (on a scale from 1 to 1000), labeling them ‘life-supporting/enhancing’ (above 200) or ‘life destroying’ (below 200.) Levels between 600 and 1000 he assigns to saints and avatars. He postulates that life-supporting energies are stronger than life-destroying energies because the universe was created to support life. Each of these polarities has ‘attractor’ fields because like attracts like. So, anger attracts anger and compassion attracts compassion. His explanation of his system is very thought-provoking and much more involved than this brief summary, but I hope that gives the gist of it.

Yes, so the seismic shift in focus I described earlier becomes a self-perpetuating, negative downward spiral and can easily be seen in these attractor fields.

The accusations of the Arvizo’s and the trial were just the tip of the iceberg and like most icebergs, the most damaging part is invisible. It’s the part that lies under the surface of the water that sank the Titanic … that tore huge gashes in the seemingly impregnable hull of the ship.

When you’re in the middle of a ‘crisis situation’ your focus is affected. You are focused on healing your hurts … or on your anger and pain … and focusing on healing your hurts is a tacit admission of their reality as well as an indication of self-interest (low level energy in the book.) Focusing on your anger and pain and planning the many ways you want to seek revenge against those who have harmed you are also low-level energies. Refocusing your attention on picking up the scattered pieces of your life and carrying on with compassion and forgiveness, striving for excellence and raising consciousness (high level energies) becomes impossible for a while. One angry thought leads to one even more angry … one ‘I can’t’ leads to a string of ‘I can’ts’ and more enervating and paralyzing skepticism.

It’s a self-perpetuating, negative, downward spiral that feeds on itself and leads deeper and ever deeper into an abyss of dis-ease because like attracts like (those attractor fields you mentioned.) And, like with any disease, one begins to think that ‘there’s nothing I can do to change my circumstances’ … and that thought becomes your reality. So, a thought of “I’ll never experience happiness again” attracts that very emotional state into your life and you go through each day rebounding from blow after blow that you see as being delivered by circumstances and situations ‘out there’ when actually, it is your cascading negative thoughts that are attracting like situations into your life, prolonging your agony and creating your lack of motivation and inability to affect your reality in more positive directions … and it is in your thoughts that the only remedy lies.

I think you’ve all experienced times like these. At no time do you ever realize that your thoughts are creating the reality you are experiencing. You think it’s ‘out there’ … that the world is ganging up on you … that you have no control … that it’s not fair … and you can’t understand how your life has gone so terribly wrong. And you wind up wallowing in a pool of self-pity and lack of faith in your ability to redeem yourself. Your confidence is shaken. Your faith is shaken. Your worldview is shaken. Your knowledge of yourself and your abilities … of who you really are … are shaken. That’s why psychologists call it an identity crisis.

A willow deeply scarred
Somebody’s broken heart
And a washed out dream
They follow the pattern of the wind it seems
Cuz they got no place to be

Just because I’m Michael Jackson doesn’t mean that I’m immune to the laws of the universe. No one who is experiencing and committed to a human, earthly experiment is.

I was subject to the same laws of attraction to which all of you are subject. At that time, all I was able to attract was more of the same … more anger … more pain … more “I can’t” … because that was all I could focus on … just like you experienced during that seven years during which you were unable to reconnect with the spiritual driving force that you had experienced earlier. The more you concentrated your attention (worried) about all the things that were tying you in knots, the tighter the knots became.

I was recovering from a ‘divorce’ … but rather than a divorce from a wife or a lifestyle, my ‘divorce’ was from my soul. I couldn’t rediscover my soul; it hurt too much.

Infrequently, during those years, I would make a public appearance … and I would experience your love again… like at the World Music Awards in London … or the MTV-Japan ceremonies. Walking out on those stages took every ounce of courage I had, because I couldn’t understand that anyone would still love me … but that “wall of love” greeted me and brought tears to my eyes. Each time, I was shocked that you still cared… because, at the time, I didn’t love myself enough to stop torturing myself with thoughts of vengeance … to be gentle and compassionate with myself and everyone else … to allow myself the space and time to heal and forgive … to realize that by dwelling on the negative things I had experienced I was binding them to me with unbreakable strength … and to pull myself out of the cave and get back on my feet again. Your love lifted me out of my abyss a little higher … it healed some of my wounds of self-doubt. But, then, something would happen to knock me down again.

For example, did you know that while I lived in Las Vegas, some of the parents in the neighborhood complained because an “accused child molester” was living within viewing distance of an elementary school? Do you know how a thing like that can hurt and shake a person’s confidence? Each step up led to two steps back.

It’s the same thing with all of you who get so involved in the media’s fabricated screenplay of my life and try so hard to defend my honor. You get so caught up in the falsehoods and the combative frame of mind (which in the book is a low-level attractor field) … and you fight so strongly to uphold my honor by creating a ‘war’ against those falsehoods … that it begins to affect your ability to focus on the much higher energy level attractor field of our love.

Please understand. I do appreciate all your efforts on my … and my legacy’s … and my family’s behalf. I know that they are based in love but if your attention is focused on falsehood and combat,  that is what you will attract into your life. If your attention is focused on our ONENESS and love and light, that’s what you’ll attract into your life. It’s the way the universe works.

That’s why it’s so important to remain in the flow of love and why I emphasize that you must shower love and light on those situations that cause you conflict … like the trial of Conrad Murray and this trial that is coming up with AEG. If you listen to all the stuff that they are going to be saying and let it get to you, it will drag you from the light and love that we share and that keeps us connected.

You know the truth, regardless of what AEG’s lawyers try to prove or what their witnesses say. The autopsy contains all the facts you need to know:

1.       Only the drugs that Murray gave me were found in the toxicology reports. No others were present.
2.       Drug use over extended periods of time causes damage to liver and kidney and heart tissues. No organ damage was found to corroborate long-term drug usage.
3.       No alcohol was present in the toxicology report.

Those are the facts. Everything else is conjecture, speculation and an attempt to distract your focus. Lies run sprints; the TRUTH runs marathons. Please don’t get caught up in running the sprint. We have a marathon to complete! Together!

Yes, Michael, and the media has already begun its onslaught. I understand that the National Enquirer plans to lead the pack of vultures this week by displaying your autopsy photo again. We are all bracing for the ugliness to come in the next few weeks.

After our last conversation, several of my friends joined with me in visualizing cleaning up this mess like we cleaned up the mess surrounding Conrad Murray’s trial, using the tools at our disposal and the only weapon we have … our focus. During the previous occasion, we all focused our visualizations on the sunflower campaign and sunflowers were center stage at the courthouse on the first day of the trial. For this mess, we’ve adopted the White Feather as a visual symbol of our unity and our prayers that TRUTH will prevail in that courthouse and that the judge and jury currently being selected will be unbiased and respectful of all parties, including those no longer present.  We are also surrounding your mother and children with white feathers for their protection because we know how difficult this trial is going to be for them.  So, in short, a veritable avalanche of white feathers is heading for Los Angeles. It’s going to be snowing FEATHERS throughout the trial.

Aww! You guys ROCK MY WORLD!

Los Angeles doesn’t get much snow, you know!

 

Jan – April 11, 2013 

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