Archive for April, 2011

April 23 through April 30, 2011

My Dear One, rumor has it there is a faction of fans planning on disrupting our little demonstration of peaceful resistance at the courthouse on May 9. While we bow our heads and hold our sunflowers in remembrance of your love and grace under pressure, another group is planning to come hell-bent on screaming, ranting and raving at Conrad Murray in an effort to be heard by the media and get their fifteen minutes of fame.

So? That just means your Celebration of LOVE  needs to be more silent … more respectful and prayerful … you need to be even more firmly heaven-bent on sending out that major love.

Well, won’t their anger and loud demands for revenge overshadow our waves of love and support for you and your family?

[Michael giggles.] That’s a common misperception … people think they have to be louder than ‘the other guy’ … to out-shout them.  There is no power on earth or in heaven strong enough to overshadow love. You know that! Just look at the example of my life … the controversies and accusations and trials and lies … the endless intrusion and invasions of privacy. Did my love get overshadowed by those events?

Perhaps, for some who don’t know you well, for a little while. But for those of us who know you, your love shines brighter than the sun and moon and stars … and always will! As a matter of fact, your love is reaching out from beyond to comfort those of us who are inconsolable … and attracting even more of us to your side every day. I’m always amazed by stories I hear of friends who watched This Is It, for example, a couple of weeks ago (almost two years after your rebirth) and they describe how they cried at the end. Then, they say, “I was never a big fan of Michael Jackson, but …” I just roll my eyes and laugh. You’ve been hit by … you’ve been struck by … A Smooth Criminal!”

Exactly! It may seem … on the ground … that the media is paying more attention to the anger and demands for justice … and you may begin to feel defeated … but don’t! That’s when you need to redouble the loving and healing and supportive energies you transmit.

 It’s like a woman giving birth. Often she struggles through the labor and gets tired; there’s a reason they call it labor, but eventually, she makes a statement like, “I don’t think I can do this!” Up to that point it was pretty easy. But when they hear that statement, the doctors and nurses really go on red alert. They know that’s a sure sign that the birth is imminent and it is time for her to really get to work and start pushing.

This is the same kinda thing. Don’t be defeated … just re-focus your attention in love … and your intention in peace.  Don’t let them interrupt the intensity of that laser beam. The faith and hope that you plant and sprout in front of the courthouse in Los Angeles may take root and germinate in someone ‘s heart watching on TV in Namibia or New Zealand … and bloom into a beautiful sunflower to rival the ones you are holding. You can’t know at this moment the repercussions that will radiate from this one event. Your example may change a life … it could even be the life standing right next to you in front of the courthouse with clenched fist raised heavenward.

But, Michael, what can we do to silence them so that, at least for this one day, your vision of fans gathered in unity, peace and loving remembrance can come true?

My vision has already come true! You and your friends have already created my vision in your visualizations and prayers. You have concentrated the most powerful tool you possess … your focus … on seeing it within your own universe. Furthermore, you have cemented it in your minds and hearts with your intentions to make it happen. Redirecting and refocusing that laser beam of attention from anger, resentment and a need to ‘make him pay,’ you have dedicated yourselves,  your thoughts and your prayers to LOVE every day for more than a month, in your specific case … others have done so once a week. Whatever worked out best for you, it was more than you were doing before you committed yourselves to this vision. By taking a few minutes out of your day to sit quietly and commune with me with loving intent to fashion a healed world for yourself and your children to inhabit, you have fixed that vision in the new ‘collective unconscious’ we are creating … together. As more and more of you join that wave of LOVE, it grows more and more likely to manifest in your physical environment. Now, it is just a matter of time before that vision is reality. God bless all of you for your devotion … your friendship … your love … your understanding … and your determination to ensure that I am not forgotten and that my mission survives me.

However, I have to be honest with you, here  … you’ve forgotten to remain humble. You’ve fallen ass over appetite into the trap that lies in wait for all who try to take a higher road. Eventually, they all begin to see a distinction between their neighbors and themselves. They separate themselves into “Us” and “Them” and, of course, WE are better, more loving, more peaceful, more correct, more respectful … more something than they are. We hear the message more clearly. Our way is the only right way … the true way … until there is only one way because all the other ways are eradicated or converted … or killed. We’re takin over; we have the truth. The final message we bring to you. Don’t point your finger … not dangerous. This is our planet, you’re one of us. [Michael sings.]

That’s what I’m talkin’ about, Beloved … how did you do it? How did you avoid the traps? How did you remain so gentle and soft-spoken and humble in your physical life? God bless you for your example! It’s totally astounding to me.

I just told myself that “there but for the Grace of God go I.”

It shouldn’t matter to you what someone else’s plans are. They, too, are acting out of love for me and grief which has affected them in much the same way as it has affected you. Their experience, understanding or interpretation of it makes them angry and bitter … just as you were angry and bitter until we had a couple of little talks; as a matter of fact, there are still several topics about which you are still angry and bitter. Should I mention the name of a certain District Attorney? That’s the one we are going to be working on next, you know?

Oh … good luck, baby … that is so not going to happen … I gotta tell you …

Yeah … yeah … yeah … but it will. We’ll work on it … together. Let’s take it one step at a time.

They want … or need … to give voice to their anger and bitterness … just like you would love to rant against our next major mission … because it is never a good thing to lock such emotions inside. Lacking another outlet, they see the trial as the perfect opportunity to straighten ‘them’ all out. Just as you are hearing my voice and feeling my touch upon your heart, experiencing our Oneness through the filter of your childhoods, experiences and beliefs … so, too, are they. But you have the extra advantage … and this cannot be overstressed … of being able to talk to me about it whereas, perhaps, in their worldview, such conversations are sinful … or taboo … or occult … or they don’t personally believe that anyone can talk to someone who has crossed onto the eternal side of life.

I know … and I am so grateful for that blessing, Beloved.

So am I, but you can see what a huge difference just this one simple fact makes. It’s HUGE!

The fact that you are open and accepting enough to believe it is possible to have these conversations with me … and, therefore, receive my advice and guidance … is uncommon. Many are not … the thought of such a possibility makes them itch … makes them uncomfortable. For some, their discomfort extends to the point of not even being able to read them.

Not only that but you know that it is me who is discussing this situation with you; you don’t believe … it has gone far past the belief stage … you know! This is a giant leap of faith on your part because your world doesn’t look kindly on this stuff, does it? Your occasional thoughts of “this is impossible” are quelled very quickly and with an absolute surety that you are being used for a higher purpose and you have agreed to being used by that purpose.  Furthermore, on top of all that, you don’t just have these talks with me and hide them in the closet … which would be hair-raising enough … you have the unmitigated gall  to convey my words and thoughts to the world by writing them on your blog and exposing yourself to misunderstanding and criticism. God bless your audacity! And your readers find something in our discussions that resonates within them … and they have the courage to take the ball and run with it! God bless them for being willing to BE that change. What would we do without them?

I don’t know … and I don’t want to ever have to find out!

[Michael laughs.]Not everyone can be like you but they, too, are doing what they think is right … what they think I would want them to do.

We’ve talked about how the filter of our childhood colors all of our thoughts and dreams in some of our earlier conversations … how the beliefs we espouse create the world we see around us. We used the analogy of the symphony heard through a transistor radio and one earplug as opposed to the varying kinds of stereo equipment and, finally, the recording studio where each tiny sound can be magnified or softened to meet each individual taste. You are not better … nor are they. Each of you just hears the music through a different instrument which delivers more or less of the full spectrum of sound to your ears. We are all spiritual beings having human experiences. They are just different experiences and because they are different … each of us sees and understands according to the opportunities or hindrances  he or she has been offered … the criticism or praise he or she has received … the violence or nurturance he or she has experienced.

You cannot control what someone else does; nor can you stop anyone else from being exactly who he has chosen to be in any given situation … just as no one can stop you from being who you have chosen to be. Each acts according to the light he sees. What you can do is continue to clean your own house first and let’s not worry about your neighbor’s house until yours is featured in Architectural Digest. [Michael giggles.] They did a feature on Neverland, did you know that?

No, I didn’t! I wonder if any back copies are available!

I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that, should I? [Michael laughs.]

[Jan laughs.] No, probably not! Now it’s gonna drive me crazy trying to get my hands on a copy. Do you remember the month and year?

Are you kidding? I had people to remember that stuff for me! [Still laughing.]

Just concentrate on removing all the bitterness, anger and hatred from your own heart to make room for love to reside within it. When you are light-filled and no longer feel bitterness you can express that light out to shroud the courthouse and clean out all the darkness from all the hidden nooks and crannies in that building … so that love and truth has enough room to  shine within it … and project that blinding radiance out into the world.

My thanks to Siren for the use of the beautiful photo.

And you can pray … that something in their experience … maybe a song at just the right moment or a short film or performance or interview … or a license plate on a slow moving vehicle will remind them that my message was always LOVE. You know how it works in your life; it is the same for them, if they will pay attention and receive the message. From the time I was a little boy until my last physical breath on this earth my goal was consistent … it never wavered … it never changed course … it never was diluted. I never spoke of the merits of anger or bitterness or revenge; I used my anger, bitterness and pain as a springboard for creating music and dance. You can pray that their hearts will be opened … either before the trial … or by your example in front of the courthouse … to the true meaning of my life among you. … that something, perhaps, a shaft of brilliance from your heart will pierce theirs with enough force for love to break through the clouds of bitterness and shine that light into their souls. You can pray that they are exposed to our conversations so that they, too, can see a different way to show their love … and, perhaps, change their plans … or, better yet, that they can suspend their hesitation or disbelief enough to begin their own discussions with me.

You know, during my physical life, I worked in a very corrupt industry … and I worked with all kinds of people. Some of the people that I worked with lived a very different lifestyle than I did. They all had different belief systems.  Shoot! Some of my brothers lived a very different lifestyle than I did. I have two brothers who have had children with the same woman. Their children are brothers and sisters … as well as cousins … at the same time! How complicated can you get? [Michael laughs.}

I sang about the corruption and greed and lack of morality often; most recently, in Hollywood Tonight. Sexual promiscuity was expected … approved; it was currency in exchange for fame or fortune. Smoking, drinking, drugs, swearing, stripteases, old men pawing young girls in the alleys of the clubs we worked in … I saw it all before I was in sixth grade. I wrote about it in Moonwalk.

The trick is to know who you are … God’s thoughts … God’s Angels … and to BE that with all your heart and strength. And, sometimes, it will take that … and more.

I knew that I wasn’t comfortable using certain words that I heard all the time from everyone around me. They didn’t sound right coming out of my mouth; I did not form those words easily. It was not natural to me; I didn’t think in those terms. I knew who I wanted to be … and it wasn’t that person speaking those words.

I knew I didn’t like the ‘club scene’ … or the ‘fast cars’ scene … or the ‘fast women’ scene. I had seen it for too many years in my brothers and father … and I had seen the effects of those lifestyles within my own family. Those things didn’t give me joy or make me happy.

I was more comfortable working on music or dancing in the studio or riding the rides at Neverland or inviting sick and disadvantaged children to be my guests and know … if only for a few hours … a healed childhood. I know everyone thought I was weird because of my ‘eccentric’ behavior, but I was just being me … being authentic.  It wasn’t an attempt to make myself out to be better or holier than anyone else … it was just who I am. I didn’t commit the right sins … the ones that were expected of someone in my position … so that made me weird. If the things you see around you don’t fulfill you … or express you … or bring you bliss, you find something that does. My bliss was good, clean, innocent fun … that is who I am.

A lot of the people I worked with in the music industry would have been bored silly with my innocent past-times. Many of them wouldn’t have been caught dead having water balloon fights or super-soaker wars. I respected that; I didn’t preach at them about their different lifestyles; I didn’t try to convert them to my beliefs or behaviors; I didn’t judge them … we respected each other.

Take Slash, for example. This was a man who had done the hard rock star scene for years. He was very familiar with the ‘sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll’ stereotype;’ he’d lived it with Guns ‘n Roses. But we became friends. You never saw Slash without a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and dressed as he was accustomed to dressing, including the big hat. I didn’t expect him to change for me; and he didn’t expect me to adopt his lifestyle as a pre-requisite for working with him. I know the newspapers tripped over their own feet trying to figure out how we could become friends. It was very simple. He respected me enough to limit his extra-curricular activities to outside the studio. He didn’t bring the drugs into the studio; he didn’t parade his women through the studio. I respected him enough to not judge my lifestyle as ‘better’ or ‘more acceptable’ than his. He loved the zoo at Neverland and we shared that in common. We worked very well together … obviously … or we wouldn’t have done so much together.

Yes, and so many of them noticed that about you, Beloved; they have commented about the time they spent with you as being the highlight of their lives. Many have said how honored they were to work with you and how much they respected you. Slash, to be specific, has said: “The thing about Michael is he’s hands down one of the most professional, most talented performers I have ever worked with. All the brouhaha aside, when it comes down to it you can have 60 choreographed dancers up there and you know which one Michael is.” and “I worked with Michael on his ‘Dangerous’ album in 1990 and in my mind he’ll always be a hero.” So many other artists have been quoted since you were reborn and have given wonderful testimonies of their time working with you.

I just tried to treat everyone the way I wanted to be treated … with respect, courtesy and dignity … regardless of how they lived their lives. It’s not my place to judge; I’ll leave that to the Creator and Father/Mother of us all. And even She doesn’t sit around and judge us; She’s too busy loving us and laughing with us. God has a wonderful sense of humor!

In the short film for Beat It, we used actual gang members from the seedier side of Los Angeles, the Crips and the Bloods. They were honored that we came down there onto their ‘turf’ and asked them to appear in a short film. They were sweet and very respectful. All they wanted was to be recognized. I wrote about it in Moonwalk. These were people who had grown up in the slums … and I was from an enormously different and more privileged background. These were people who had done it all … literally … but we treated them with the respect and common courtesy that every human being deserves … and they lent an air of authenticity and grittiness to the film that would have been lacking without them.  

Is it asking too much for you to do the same? That’s all you need to do in this situation at the courthouse. Recognize that not everyone has had the same experiences or advantages you’ve had … or interpreted them in exactly the same way. Acknowledge that you are brother and sister notes in the same Symphony in the Key of Love. Perhaps, one of you has changed pitch through the experience filters that color your thoughts and choices, but brothers and sisters you remain … regardless of how out of tune you may be … or you feel they are … you are brothers and sisters. Each of you has a contribution to make to this situation; each brings a unique viewpoint and back story. Each of you should respect the other. There but for the grace of God go you.


Eternal One,

You have taught us through the lives and words of many messengers that we are your children. Those same messengers have exhorted us to love each other as we love ourselves and to treat others as we would want to be treated. As your children, we have to admit that we don’t often treat your beloved messengers kindly. Their radiance frequently hurts our eyes and, in our ignorance, we fear it or are jealous of it, eventually dousing it. The contrast between their lives lived in your Light and ours too often lived in darkness is too stark. Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for continuing to send into our midst those who, just by breathing, enlighten our minds and illuminate our hearts with their blinding brilliance.

Such a messenger is Michael Jackson, Lord … breathtakingly beautiful … enormously God-gifted … divinely inspired … endlessly compassionate and loving.  With his unquenchable desire to heal us and our world, he was a gift for which we were insufficiently grateful when he walked among us. Please accept our gratitude for his life … and for his example, now, Lord. Thank you for allowing us to witness his star as it blazed across our sky in shining, sparkling brilliance. To those of us he left behind, his star flamed out too soon. Thank you for instilling in us faith that all is proceeding according to Your Plan. We thank you for allowing him to continue to enlighten us … to inspire us … to speak to us … to remain close to us, even as we mourn his absence.

We are approaching a difficult time, O Loving Father … a time when our faith will be tested … a time when our understanding of Your message, as spoken through his life well-lived, will be questioned. Help us to adhere to his principles of humility, peace and unity as we approach the trial of the man who ended his physical life. Help us to be channels for Your Love and Instruments of Your peace, as he was. Help us to be gentle warriors, strong, yet ever generous, as he was. Help us to walk in dignity and grace when faced with differing viewpoints and lifestyles using his example as our model. Help us to be powerful in our surety of purpose, non-judgmental of others, humble in our demeanor and to acquit ourselves well by embodying his principles and ideals in our thoughts, words and deeds.

We pray, Father, for his family who will be at the courthouse. We thank you for walking with them in their grief over the loss of their son, father and brother. We thank you for allowing him to shield them from further pain as details of his last moments are exposed. We know that the defense will do its level best to show him in the worst possible light in order to ensure a verdict of not guilty. His mother’s faith in your love is strong; she is the rock upon which that family rests … and YOU have always been hers. We thank you for allowing her to feel her son’s presence … to know that her son is beside her, holding her hand and comforting her through this grueling ordeal. And we thank you for allowing her to know, through our presence, that her son’s message lives on in each one of us … that he did not live … and bear all that bore with grace and dignity … in vain.

We thank you for sitting with the judge on his bench and inspiring him to permit no disrespect for Michael or his family to transpire in the testimonies given or the evidence presented.  We thank you for being present in the courtroom throughout all the days of the trial. We pray that the Spirit of Your Truth will finally prevail and that your beloved son, Michael, will finally be accorded the dignity and honor he so richly deserves.

We pray that the media representatives allowed in the courtroom will be moved by the Spirit of Your Truth and that their articles and reports will reflect that Truth and present only the facts, omitting opinion and editorial comment, so that, at long last, a true representation of Michael  Jackson will be known to the world.

We pray all these things in the name of your son, Jesus … and in the memory of your other beloved son, Michael Jackson.


Jan – April 29, 2011


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Week of April 16 through April 23, 2011

My Dear One, I have to apologize to you.

Apologize? What on earth for?

Well, I feel like I’ve been neglecting you. I’ve taken a couple of evenings off after uploading our last conversation. I’ve needed to just relax after work because my days at work have been so stressful and busy. And I enjoy watching you so much and reminding myself of your unbelievable beauty and incomparable talent … and why I spend so much of my spare time doing what I do … and it seems like I never get the time to do that.

So, the other night I watched the Mike Douglas show where you and your brothers performed Dreamer and Show You the Way to Go and Enjoy Yourself in 1977. By the way, Dearest One, those yellow tuxedoes with the black sequins were to die for! Then, I watched the wonderful performance of the The Jacksons on Cher’s show at about the same time.

Last night, I watched a DVD a lovely friend made for me from video she had recorded from the internet and converted so that I could watch it on a television. It contains several fan-made videos and some Dangerous Tour rehearsals and the 2006 Diamond Award Presentation from the World Music Awards. I just absolutely adore that ceremony. You were so happy; your smile ran out of face to hold it, but your eyes were swollen … as if you had been crying.

Yeah, that night was such an emotional roller coaster for me. In one way I was afraid to go out there … on stage, which was a very unfamiliar feeling for me; it was so soon after the trial and I wasn’t sure of my reception. Then, they were celebrating Thriller surpassing the 25 year, 100,000 copies mark that I had drawn in the sand … and on my bedroom mirror … so many years before. You know how emotional I get about stuff like that. And the Guinness Book of World Records was planning on being there. But, then, I walked out after Beyonce’s introduction and the crowd was so beautiful, cheering and whistling … and I hit that wall of love I mentioned to you in an earlier conversation … they were so happy I was there. It was one of the major highlights of my life. I had a lot of them! [Michael giggles a little, clearly embarrassed.] I was so blessed!

Later, after the award ceremony, I remember reading the reports of the event. Most of the reporters and journalists criticized you for not performing more of We are the World. They said you only sang briefly and, of course, found fault with you because of that. Baby, you could have stood there and picked your nose and that crowd would have been riveted to your every breath. I just love watching it. It was a similar reaction to the one you received at the Jackson Family Honors celebration in Las Vegas in … what was it … 1993? That crowd would not settle down; I think they went on for like five to seven minutes after you walked out on the stage. I so wish I had been there that night! It was thunderous!

Yeah, I remember that. That was another time when I didn’t know how I was going to get through the show, but the crowd pulled me through it somehow. I kept trying to speak and they just kept on yelling and waving big banners in the air. One was a great big heart that folded in half. I wish I had gotten that one! It was a similar situation. The 1993 allegations had just broken in the tabloids and they were going on and on, interviewing ex-employees and each headline was more sensational … and damning … than the last. And that was my first major public appearance in the midst of all this garbage. I didn’t know how it was going to go and was afraid to step out on the stage. But as soon as they saw me, they went wild! No one could hear me! Even with the microphone. There was nothing I could do to quiet them. Finally, I just had to start talking or the show would have run into overtime … like a football or basketball game. Then, at the end of the show when the whole family was out on the stage singing, every time I opened my mouth to sing the chorus … or when I sang one of the verses … they went wild all over again.

You guys always pulled me through, somehow. It was magic! Our love’s a sacred thing! [Michael sings.]There I’d be … miserable about some lie being printed and trotted out to sell some slimy newspaper or advance some cheap television journalist’s career … or imprisoned in my hotel room and wanting so desperately to reach out to you, but knowing that someone might get hurt if I went out and hugged you … and the energy you sent me would have lit half of New York City in a blackout. It is a beautiful thing!

Did you ever watch E.T.-The Extraterrestrial?

Of course … it’s one of my all-time favorite movies … and I just love the DVD I have of your narration of the film. I treasure that DVD so much and am totally thrilled to have it as part of my collection. I watched it a couple of weeks ago. You know, it always bugs me when I hear someone say that Thriller won eight Grammy Awards that night in 1984 because one of those Grammies was for E.T.: The Children’s Storybook and no one ever remembers that. Not that I want to belittle Thriller’s achievement, but The Children’s Storybook gets overlooked in recalling the events of that night. It shouldn’t be! Your narration of that story was masterful, Beloved … absolutely stunning! Your voice was so full of emotion and when Elliott and his friends soar over the roadblock … ahhh … my heart just almost stops.

God bless you for remembering that. Yeah, that’s one of the awards I am most proud of. I said that that night at the awards presentation … and it’s still so true. Anyway, in the movie, E.T.’s heart would light up and glow when he was near his own people … or when he was left behind … his heart was a kinda message center. And that’s what it felt like when I was being fed by your love on the various stages of my life … and in the endless hotel rooms … it felt like my heart lit up and glowed … and I could measure the level of your love filling me like someone measures the level of liquid in the tank when they fill their cars up with gas. You guys always just filled me up with love.

And this relationship is still going strong between us. Never doubt that … not for a moment! We are One … and We Are Forever … We Are Forever! [Michael sings these words.]

There’s no need to apologize to me. You are not neglecting me … that’s called recharging your batteries! When I want your undivided attention, I know how to get it. [Michael laughs.]

Yeah, that’s certainly true. The cold water trick will not be repeated. We were not amused.

[Michael giggles.] Yeah, that was pretty funny, but don’t tempt me like that. You should know better.

Don’t you dare, Michael Jackson! The thing is, when I watch you, I can’t have any distractions … I am totally concentrated on watching you. I can’t read at the same time; I can’t write or check email or talk on the telephone at the same time. When I watch you, you and I are the only people in my universe; I accept no distractions. As a matter of fact, my body strains toward my television and my eyes and mind are stuck like glue to your every move and smile and hand motion. Sometimes, I will pause the playback to capture a still of you on your toes … or a particular facial expression or close up and just absorb you into my pores like a soothing, healing moisturizer after a hot bath is soaked into my skin. You are my shelter in the storm of life … my safe haven when I feel overwhelmed … my quiet pool that shows me a clearer reflection of who I want to be … and why.

I have to admit that I am a little better than I was back in the 1990’s. Back then, I had a videocassette recorder that had two VCR’s … one to record and one for playback. And I could record things in SLOW motion. LOL! So, I recorded some of your short films and performances in slomo and I would sit and play one of your albums and watch each tiny little expression change on your face. I don’t think DVD recorders can do that! The funny thing is … I still have those slow motion tapes and I could put those on a DVD.

I have, however, been keeping up with my daily visualizations and prayers … as I vowed to do last month … regardless of how busy or tired I am. Sometimes I get a very clear visual … and sometimes I don’t ‘see’ anything at all, but I have learned not to let the first give me a sense of pride or the latter a sense of failure. I am learning to accept both as ‘what is’ in that moment.

But Michael, I do have good news. I am happy to report that we are determined to make at least one of your dreams come true.

Almost immediately after I uploaded Conversations – Installment #20, in which you described your vision of fans congregating outside the courthouse  in a spirit of respect and reverence, a couple of my friends went to work to make that vision happen. They hit the floor running! God bless their little hearts! They saw the trial of Dr. Conrad Murray as, perhaps, one of our last opportunities to demonstrate who Michael Jackson is through our adherence to your messages of love, unity and respect for all life. It reminds me of the line from the New Testament … “by their fruits shall you know them.” That phrase has taken on a whole new meaning for me in the last twenty-two months. We are the fruits on your vine, Beloved, and we are committed to manifesting your dream.

New websites dedicated to sending out your Call for Love solicited prayers and visualizations to prepare the way for your vision spiritually by sending love and healing instead of concentrating on our rage and desire for revenge. The Major Love Prayer monthly prayer vigils were increased from once a month to sending out thoughts of healing for our world on a daily basis. One friend in Southern California, who has attended many of the pre-trial hearings and walks frequently the paths that you walked during the physical side of your life, volunteered to be your organizer on the ground. She has been networking among her contacts to solicit participation in a unified, peaceful expression of love for Michael Jackson … and solidarity with your family in their mourning … instead of rage against Dr. Conrad Murray… on May 9, the first day of the trial. This demonstration of peaceful resistance is set to commence at 8:00 AM in the courtyard and patio area with a prayer in unison for truth to prevail in the evidence and witnesses presented … and respect and honor to be shown for all participants … living and LIVING forever.

In just one month, the vision you described to me so movingly in our earlier conversation is well on its way to manifestation in our reality. It’s a gift that all of us want to give you in return for everything you’ve given us both during the physical side of your life and, especially, since your rebirth. This thing is going to happen!

I know. You guys are so AWESOME! I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of each and every one of you … how grateful I am to have you as my friends … and how happy it makes me to see so many of you wanting to be involved in changing the world you inhabit. You make my heart sing and dance across the universe … spinning in reckless abandon and sheer joy. Please … all of you … consider yourselves hugged big time!

What good would it do to stand and loudly demand that a man ‘pay’ for disrespecting life? Viewed from the larger view, the only purpose for life is to encourage and respect life. What payment can be levied against one who wastes it … or ignores it … or abuses it? What amount of money … or time behind bars … would make my children forget their pain? There is no payment that would erase the rift in the human spirit caused by the loss of a life.

What good does it do the world to raise your clenched fists in the air and your voices in anger insisting on justice when there is no ‘justice’ to be exacted? Does it feed a hungry child … or clothe a homeless woman … or cure a diseased ecology? Does sending Conrad Murray to jail bring me back to my children and mother … or to you, my extended family? Does his humiliation make mine more bearable or your sense of loss less painful, more tolerable?

There is no justice in the true meaning of the word in this situation save the knowledge that I LIVE ON in each one of you who hears my truth in your hearts … and lives it in your daily lives … even in situations like this one.

There is no reparation that will restore breath to breathless lungs … or a beat to a silent heart; there is no restitution that can compensate my family … or you … for the loss you bear. It doesn’t matter how long he is required to live caged like an animal, what good does that do the world?

My thanks to Debbie for the wonderful Angel picture!

While I don’t want to encourage the ‘energy’ of anger, hatred and vengefulness, for those of you still mired in those negative emotions and planning on attending the trial kick-off in a pursuit of ‘justice’ or ‘revenge’ … let me ask you this. Can you think of a better revenge for those who worked so diligently to silence me than to show them that I refuse to be silenced? I will not accept the boundaries they want to build around me now anymore than I accepted them … or was bound by them … when I walked among you. They think they put me in a little box and buried it in a marble crypt and walked away, dusting off their hands in imagined triumph mumbling ‘good riddance.’ But their little boxes won’t hold me … four walls won’t hold me tonight [Michael sings.]

Have you ever known me to be more vocal than you have experienced since my rebirth? I am not just talking to one … or a handful of you … but to each and every one of you … in a language that each of you feels very personally and individually. You have no doubt of my presence and interaction in your lives. When you awakened to my call … by whatever vehicle you were awakened … you had no doubt of who was doing the awakening. You didn’t understand the mechanics of it … some of you thought you were going crazy … couldn’t explain it to yourself or anybody else … but you knew it was me. It was the one thing you were sure of in a world of occurrences you couldn’t explain.

Is there a better way of exacting payment from Sneddon and Dimond and Bashir and Leno than to demonstrate for them in concrete terms that they may have laughed loudly and more often … but the last laugh is on them … that they may have won the battle, but they have lost the war for the hearts and minds of my children? ‘Just when you thought he was done, he comes to give it again. They can put it around the world today. He wants to write my obituary.’ [I love it when you sing to me, baby!] [Michael laughs.]

Well, they wrote it … but I haven’t gone anywhere. It’s like in Ghosts when the mayor thinks he has won and goes to leave the spooky mansion after the Maestro destroys himself. “Let’s go,” he says over and over. But he doesn’t have the mob’s loyalty anymore; they’re sad and horrified at what has happened. He finds himself kinda out on a limb all alone; the mob hesitates and looks back and you can tell that they don’t want to follow him any longer. And he reaches for the door … and there’s the Maestro again … bigger and stronger than ever! As a matter of fact, that film ended up being rather prophetic, didn’t it?

[Michael and Jan say together] Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together? [Both laugh.]

A lot of your music and films do that … it really is kinda spooky, Beloved. Did you know when you recorded Will You Be There in 1990 and 1991 what was coming? The album Dangerous was released in late 1991 and the single release schedule must have been set at or shortly after its release. I mean that song was released as a single just as the storm over the 1993 allegations broke … and the movie Free Willy which featured the song and a modified version of the short film was in theaters around the country as the tabloid reports were escalating beyond ridiculous. I thought at the time, “He knew what was going to happen. How is that possible?” The timing was so precise!  And your tearful rap at the end of that song just gave me goose bumps when I saw your performance in Bucharest … and again at your Memorial Service in July of 2009.

It was during Will You Be There that you changed my life … an eight-minute song changed the direction my life was headed 180 degrees. I can’t thank you enough! I remember I didn’t know the album it was on or the name of the song … but I had to find it … there was an urgency to the feeling that I had never experienced before. I started collecting whatever I could find in the stores here on the dark side of the moon. I got BAD first and it wasn’t there … I loved it, but it wasn’t there and I knew it wasn’t on Thriller because I had it on vinyl. When I finally did find Dangerous, I listened to it with my headphones on … loud … especially Will You Be There and Who Is It … for months. My husband thought I had lost my mind! LOL! He still does, but I’m used to it now. It doesn’t bother me anymore.

No, I didn’t know what was going to happen. That song was such a gift! I was at Neverland and I was just sitting quietly in my Giving Tree when that song just fell into my lap. I heard the whole thing … the ‘angel’ chorus … and then the beat coming in … and the words just tumbled over each other … and I heard the clapping come in. And I had a vision of millions of hands being held up in the air and clapping in time! I had to climb down … couldn’t sit still … had to get it on tape.

When I would perform the song in concert … if you look at the footage of the concerts … the crowd always began to clap at just the right beat. You all participated in the song with such enthusiasm and I was always so grateful for your participation. That energy just filled me with joy.

Yes, I noticed that! Last night I had to stop our conversation so that I could watch the Bucharest concert for like the millionth time … and I noticed that! I also noticed how the crowd quieted for you within the first few bars of I Just Can’t Stop Loving You. You were singing the first few words and the crowd was very boisterous as the song began, but as soon as you started singing, they quieted down so you could be heard. And this wonderful look of gratitude swept across your face … it was just a momentary thing … just a few seconds … it happens so fast that it’s hard to catch that expression when I pause the playback … as if you were saying ‘thank you’ to them. I love that!

[Michael laughs.] Yeah, you do watch pretty closely, don’t you? Not too many people would notice something like that.

Visualization Exercise

I begin by sitting quietly in what I am beginning to call my meditation chair. Breathing slowly, I calm my mind and body and then start to breathe more deliberately … expanding my diaphragm first and then my lungs … emptying my lungs first and then my diaphragm. When I am ready, I begin to think the words of St. Francis’s Prayer, exhaling with the word hatred and inhaling with the word love. I continue that pattern, expelling all the dark emotions and inhaling only light.

Almost immediately, I find myself outside the courthouse, viewing it from a distance of like across the street. I can see the stop lights and flags blowing in the breeze outside as I approach.  There are clouds floating across a blue sky that could threaten rain and I hear a wind rushing by me. Approaching closer, I notice you, Beloved, just your face. Your hair is cut short and your shoulders are bare. I only see you from your shoulders up because the rest of you is covered by huge iridescent wings that sparkle and reflect like mirrors in the bright California sunshine. You look a LOT like you did in the You Are Not Alone short film, but BIGGER! And those wings are alive with energy … being blown in the breeze … glinting and glimmering and refracting light like a mirror … each tiny little feather is alive with loving energy … almost as if each one had agreed to be in its designated place in your wings … and were grateful to be there.

The wind I am hearing and feeling is coming from your breath. You are breathing into and around and through the courthouse building … gathering up all the remaining eddies of black, sooty negative energy in your breath and blowing it out of the building and into the clouds above. As the dark whirlpools enter the clouds, lightning is struck and snakes towards the Earth, but it never really touches because the entire area is shielded by your wings … it is evaporated in your loving energy … absorbed by the little tiny feathers that comprise them as if blotted by a piece of absorbent cloth. Your breath touches the trees and flowers planted around the building and for a moment, they glow in transcendent beams of healing. You turn towards me and smile and wink. “We’re almost there,” I hear in my mind.

I want to stay here with you forever, but you make me know that I have to return. As I leave, I join my hands in ‘namaste’ and touch my thumbs to my forehead three times in reverence, love and gratitude for the blessing I have received. I whisper, “I love you.” And hear in my mind, “I love you more.”

I do, you know … I do love you more! Happy Easter!

This is a time to celebrate Resurrection! The word can have lots of meanings, one of which is moving from darkness to light, from anger and vengeance to embrace love and healing … first in your own universe … and then projecting that into the universe your species accepts as ‘reality.’ Each one of you should celebrate your resurrection because in the last couple of weeks you’ve left behind your demands for vengeance and concentrated all your power on healing the wound left behind in my absence. At the same time, you can celebrate my resurrection because I am resurrected in you when you hear my Call for Love …. and act on it!

Beloved, one of these times, I am not going to come back. I’m just going to drift there with you forever.

Yes, that’s true … and I can’t wait to welcome you … but not yet … we still have lots of work to do. When we are finished healing the people and events around the trial … we have a world to clean up in the same way … starting with each one of your hearts … and then sending that love and healing out to heal our world. There are still a lot of wounds that require our attention. But, let’s take it one step at a time.

Oh, by the way, before we end this session … there will be sunflowers there on May 9 for all who want to hold them. We are having them delivered on the morning of the trial kick-off at no cost to the participants … and roses for your mom and sisters!

Awww! God bless you! You guys are AWESOME!

Jan – April 21, 2011


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Week of April 9 through April 16, 2011

Michael, I have to tell you that I am just speechless, awestruck, dumbfounded when I take the time to sit back and contemplate the number and variety of different ways your children are receiving your messages of love and healing … each of them according to his or her joys or needs, passions or interests … and the creative ways they are finding to carry that loving message forward to ensure that your art and your enormous love for the helpless in our society and our ecology survive you. To be a small, insignificant, lonely little note lost among the millions of others in this Symphony in the Key of Love is such an honor and privilege. I am so grateful for all the chances you have shown me to make a ‘higher choice’ … more loving, more soulful, more healing … in the past twenty years. I wish I could say that I have always done as much as I could have done with those opportunities; but I admit I’m still a work in progress. However, I look forward to discovering my next steps on this path toward expansion no longer with fear but with joy, excitement and anticipation of further growth.

God bless you … all of you … for continuing to hear me and remaining open to my voice. You know, during the physical side of my life, there were lots of times when I wondered if anyone was hearing me at all, especially with all the ‘junk food’ you were all being fed by the tabloids and newspaper publishers. I wondered if any of my love was getting through. I worried that my messages were falling on deaf ears. I, too, lived with self-doubt and lack of self-worth. I, too, sat around and heard the voice in my head that said, “Who do you think you are?” and “What makes you think that anything you do is going to make any difference?” It’s part of the human condition. The point is, you can’t let it stop you; you mustn’t let it turn you away from your quest toward the Holy Grail of higher consciousness we all hunger for. Just remember … “If not us, then who? If not now, then when?”

We’ve waited for Jesus to come and save us again for 2000 years. We’ve waited for our governments to wake up and take the bull by the horns. Waiting for a savior isn’t getting the job done. It’s time for each of us, individually, and all of us, collectively, to stand together and acknowledge that “We are the chosen ones.” … that “you and I must make a pact … we must bring salvation back.” We have to begin to take responsibility for our own salvation … and for our world’s. We can’t pass the blame or the ‘game’ on to another generation.

We heard you, Beloved. How could we not hear you? In your physical incarnation, you were unchecked lightning and rolling thunder in human form, flinging a tornado of love and joy and healing about you in wave after wave of breathtaking showmanship, incomparable talent and far-reaching global charitable engagement. The IMPLOSION of LOVE unleashed upon the world when your soul was freed from your physical body would rival a 25-megaton atomic detonation, enveloping the entire planet within its path of ever-advancing spiritual awareness and unstoppable, inexorable expansion. It was a Big Bang of unprecedented spiritual intensity. I don’t think this world has witnessed anything similar in millennia, if ever. The fireball and initial shockwave engulfed hearts and souls in ways their owners still can’t define or comprehend with any clarity almost two years later. I’ve heard you describe it as the ‘shock of recognition;’ others refer to it as a ‘lightning bolt;’ and we’ve talked about my analogy ‘what kind of train just hit me’ previously in these conversations.

The outpouring of grief around the world was absolutely unparalleled, which was noteworthy enough … but the long-lasting aftershocks of that grief and mourning … and the LOVE-active ‘fallout’ raining down upon humanity … awakened millions of people who hadn’t even been aware of your contributions until the date of your rebirth.  The trigger interwoven seamlessly into the rehearsals for This Is It planted intangible evidence of your journey among us in hearts and minds across the planet which is growing and flowering tangible results within our world. Whoever came up with the old saying, “One person can’t change the world” obviously hadn’t met you. Physically your reach is global and international, but your influence in inspiration toward spiritual evolution is nothing short of galactic.

Aww! Don’t get me all emotional, now! It was always my goal to make lasting changes in our world. I sang about it often … for forty years. From ‘we must bring salvation back’ to ‘we can change, we can change the world’ to well, the list is endless. My one regret that I acknowledge here on the eternal side of life is that I didn’t live (physically) to see the culmination of all my faith and hope; but I want you all to know that I DO LIVE … and I am seeing it in all of you. I am so grateful and I love you … all of you … so much more.

The thing about changing the world is … it can’t be done without changing the hearts of the people who inhabit it … starting with your own [if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change, Michael sings] and progressing one inch and one heart at a time [we’re sending out a major love and this is our message to you, Michael sings again.]

I believe it was John Mayer who said, “A strand of our cultural DNA has been taken from us,” shortly after your rebirth; and he was so right. In the entertainment field alone, almost everybody has come up with some kind of tribute or memorial since your rebirth. From the Memorial Service in July when Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey, Lionel Ritchie, John Mayer, Magic Johnson, Berry Gordy, Smokey Robinson, the Andrae Crouch Choir, Usher and even a member of the United States House of Representatives spoke to pay tribute to your accomplishments to Madonna’s moving speech at the MTV Video Music Awards, the response to this one event has been beyond overwhelming.

More tributes followed, including Beyonce’s Atlanta performance of “Halo” dedicated to you; Whitney Houston’s performance and dedication while playing performance video of you behind her on a jumbotron screen; and the performance of Earth Song in 3D and Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award presented by Lionel Ritchie and accepted by your beautiful children featuring Usher, Smokey, Jennifer Hudson, Celine Dion and Faith Hill. The list doesn’t end there. R. Kelly has composed and performed, recorded or dedicated several songs as tributes, including Don’t Say Goodbye to Me and I Believe.

When the mountain seems too high
And you don’t have the courage or the strength to climb
And the road you’re on don’t end
But still you run ‘tho you cannot see the finish line
When dark clouds are over you
And your sky’s no longer blue
You marched on straight ahead
And somehow you made it through
Got to the mountain
And you left a path for me
Your victory made history
And now

I believe, I believe, I believe (repeat)

When it felt like you were weak
And you couldn’t fight no more
On the ropes
And it seemed like you was gonna run out of breath
When the world was on your shoulder
And the walls were in your way
You leaped and made it over
And through it all, you kept the faith
With hope you set us free
You showed us how to dream
And now we can lift our voices
And forever sing
Now’s the time to look ahead
And thank our heroes of the past
To celebrate this victory
Let’s raise the flag

I believe, I believe, I believe (repeat)

And when they tried to keep you down
You kept up your head
Never losing sight
You believed in what was right
You endured to the end
Walked through the strongest wind
The storm’s over
And a new day begins
And when our hope was dying
You brought us healing
And now I got something
To tell my children

I believe, I believe, I believe (repeat)

I have to tell you, Beloved, this song speaks to me so clearly and describes your beauty and strength and determination with such unerring accuracy. R. Kelly’s respect, admiration and love for his friend ooze throughout his vocals. And I believe in you; I believe.

[Michael laughs.] Of course, you do … you’re talking to me all the time. If you didn’t believe in me, I would worry about you. You know, you wrote those words to me once before … in a telegram … and it means as much to me now as it did then. God bless you! And I believe in you … all of you. I know that we can reach our goal together.

The tributes to your genius continue to roll, even almost two years after the event … an unstoppable tide of honor and accolade. The Commodores reworked their 1980’s hit “Nightshift” as a tribute and Celine Dion has added a couple of your songs to her set in Las Vegas in memory of you. Cirque de Soleil has mounted an entire show and will be touring with it next year and Adrian Grant is still touring with Thriller Live. Jonathan ‘Sugarfoot’ Moffett has a tribute show that he is touring, Michael Bearden has written a wonderful song called One Last Goodbye and Judith Hill has written a song called I Will Always Be Missing You. Even the inmates of a Philippine prison have danced in your memory and an entire school in China has replaced its Tai Chi exercises with its students dancing to Michael Jackson. Statues have been erected in China and England in your honor and memory; there is a temporary/permanent memorial to you in Munich and a giant bust is being sculpted in Paris. It’s amazing.

The people who knew you best and who worked closely with you like Karen Faye, Michael Bush, Dennis Tompkins, David Nordahl, Nate Georgio and Patrick Treacy have given interviews in memory of you, the Cascio family has been on Oprah and your lead defense lawyer is still being asked to describe you to the press. Those you worked with in the music field have all gone on record clarifying who you are and who you remain. The interviews in the special features of This Is It clearly show your colleague’s respect and admiration, even those two generations younger. In the words of one of them, “You are simply the greatest. You are simply the kindest. You are simply the best.” Videos commemorating your astounding talent, art, achievements, life and humanitarian engagement on You Tube outnumber the stars in the heavens, boasting live performances and interviews and short films and fan tributes and poems. And we haven’t even mentioned the personal websites, blogs and social network sites through which so many of us are joined in common purpose, giving each other strength and encouragement along the way. It’s incredible.

Forrest Lawn Holly Terrace

I can’t remember ever witnessing anything like this before. Other celebrities have died in my lifetime; lots of them, in fact. Many have been mourned and memorialized, including John Lennon and Princess Diana with heartfelt sadness, but none with this general, overwhelming sense of irretrievable loss. In their cases, the mourning was more localized to England and the United States … while in yours, an entire planet paused, held its breath in shock and sobbed as one. The spiritual awakening unleashed upon an unsuspecting world which has resulted from your rebirth is unlike anything ever experienced … at least that I know of.

You referred to this phenomenon in our last conversation and I’ve wanted to ask to you clarify … to nail it down in more concrete terms … and explain it more fully … because my brain has been in a fog lately and I guess I don’t see how a thing like that is possible.  You said that we … you and all of us who have, by the Grace of God (apparently), been chosen … and have chosen in return … to be located at Spiritual and Emotional Ground Zero of this mushroom cloud and resulting shockwave and fireball of LOVE and spiritual awakening (regardless of our actual, physical location) … are creating a new ‘collective unconscious.’ How are we doing that? And can we speed up the process?

 [Michael makes a sound with his voice which he intends to sound like an explosion and I see him motion with both hands to form a mushroom cloud in front of him. Booohm!] I love it! I love the comparison with the mushroom cloud and shockwave and fireball. That is so cool. It really draws a clear picture, doesn’t it? [Michael giggles.]

The first thing we need to do is take the mystery out of the terms conscious and unconscious because we tend to make things more complicated than they really are. Conscious just means aware … what are you aware of? What do you focus your attention on?

Are you asking me?

Yeah … you … do you see anyone else around? [Michael laughs.]

[Jan laughs out loud.] No, I don’t see anyone else around … and even if I did, they probably wouldn’t be hearing you and feeling you in the same way. Okay. Well, YOU. When I’m not at work or involved with my granddaughter, I focus all my attention on you … writing about you … writing with you … reading about you … watching you … listening to you. You surround me … embrace me … shelter me … console me … uplift me … pray with me … give me hope … increase my faith … distract me by dousing me with freezing water … you! Thank you. I am so grateful!

God bless you! You have to know, I love you more. Okay, so maybe you’re not the best example to use. Let’s try this. Do you watch television?

No, not really. I used to when there was something uplifting and edifying on. I loved the variety shows and Kung Fu in the 1970’s and Touched By An Angel in the 1990’s. Television has regressed. It’s a ‘reality show’ world … and the ‘reality’ they show is not something I find particularly interesting or amusing or entertaining. It’s humiliating. Don’t the contestants see how they degrade themselves on those shows? They usually insult human intelligence by catering to and encouraging the lowest possible common denominator in the human spirit. If I watch television now, it’s to watch you from one of my DVD’s.

Don’t you watch the news? Or sports?

Nope. Couldn’t care less about sports … and what news? That’s not news; half the time it’s not even true! I learned that from your experiences. And you’re not here anymore for me to catch up with what you’re doing, so there’s not much point is there? I suppose I could watch cooking shows or house decorating shows or pawn shop shows or repo shows or the shopping channels, but I don’t really buy anything or decorate anything. Then, there’s always vampire shows, I guess.

No, thanks. I’d rather write or watch you perform; nothing else really holds my interest. I spend a lot of time talking to my social network friends (relatively, that is … approximately  an hour or so every night which is a lot when you only get about two or two and half hours of ‘down’ time per evening) … about you, of course. Occasionally, I’ll watch a movie, but never anything violent or ‘scary.’ I try very hard not to bring ‘scary’ or ‘violent’ or ‘cruel’ into my life. There’s enough fear in this world without watching it for two hours and immersing yourself in it through watching frightening or grotesque images of wanton cruelty.

There! That touches on the point I was aiming for. What you pay attention to is important. What you focus your attention on plays a major role in the world you are creating for yourself to live in and who you are being in that world.

So, for example, someone who watches the 24-hour news cycle every spare moment is filling his attention ‘barometer’ with the violence and war and disasters and predictions of economic doomsday he is watching. He will swear that every word is true, although you know that isn’t so. In addition, he will tease or make fun of someone like you, who doesn’t watch that stuff; he will ask you if you ‘don’t want to be informed?’ He’ll compare you to an ostrich with your head stuck in the sand … or some other less comfortable place … and will get into a long argument that no one will win because he feels that it is every citizen’s responsibility to be ‘informed’ of what’s going on in the world. Unfortunately, he will not give your point that he is not getting the truth about that subject any investigation because it would upset his worldview.

When he is not absorbed by the 24-hour news cycle, he is at work and worried about the financial situation that he has been following so closely. So, he is convinced that there is just plain not enough to go around and he needs to get his ‘cut’ now or it will be gone. There is an urgency to his strategic moves to do just that.

The point is, it’s all about fear … fear of the violence and war and economic disaster … fear of not having enough … not being enough. Fear.

When you wrap yourself in worry about the future, it’s about fear. When you surround yourself with violence on the television and in the movie theater, it’s about fear of being powerless. When your mind is absorbed with being right at all costs, it’s about fear of being wrong. When you have to criticize and belittle another, it’s about fear of being less important or accomplished than he is.

The opposite of fear is LOVE. Instead of worrying about the future, having faith in God’s plan for you turns fear into LOVE. Instead of surrounding yourself with the violence you are served as a daily diet, reaching out to heal a child in need of good food or clean water or medicine or spending time serving the homeless a free meal turns fear into LOVE. Instead of being absorbed with having to have the last word and always being right, realizing that it doesn’t matter who’s wrong and who’s right [Michael sings these words from Beat It] as long as we all walk away and benefit from the exchange turns fear into LOVE. Instead of criticizing and making another less, knowing that we are all God’s children and we are all equal and beautiful in Her eyes turns fear into LOVE. Every child that’s born needs to believe that he belongs. I have this dream. [Michael ‘s singing again.]

As we talked about briefly in our last conversation, your FOCUS is the most powerful tool you possess in creating your world and the role you play in it. Focusing your attention on allowance instead of anger … hope instead of despair … faith instead of doubt … empowerment instead of helplessness … Love instead of fear … we change our own internal awareness. But a side effect of that change is that the world ‘internal atmosphere’ also changes because we are all ‘plugged into’ that world consciousness.

That’s what you are doing with the prayers and visualizations we’ve been working on together. We’ve been removing your attention from the negative emotions that you harbor against the things in your life that make you angry or irritable or worried or unhappy … and refocusing the lens of your perception on a more faith-filled, expansive, creative, healing, love-based and driven reality. Then, we are taking that more expansive viewpoint and aiming your focused laser beam of attention … at the speed of thought … directly at the courthouse and major players in the play about to have its opening night in Los Angeles. Therefore, we are changing your internal environment by vacuuming out all the negatively-charged storm clouds … and the pollution and stagnation those storm clouds produce … and replacing them with a bright and shining blue sky and a rainbow like the ones I used to love so much over Neverland. This has to cause a break in the cloud cover in the world’s atmosphere as well. With enough of us concentrating on positive, healing thoughts we can chase all the dark storm clouds away and reveal the sun in all its glory. And the dream we were conceived in will reveal a joyful face. And the world we once believed in will shine again in grace. [Michael sings.]

Instead of using the creative power our Heavenly Father and Mother have gifted us with mindfully and with intent, most of us allow the expectations of others to choose our focus for us. We come home from work and just want to relax in some mindless way because we are so drained by the activity of our day. By the simple act of turning on the TV, we abdicate our power to choose our focus … we hand it over to the producers and writers of the shows we watch. We willingly put them in the driver’s seat of our lives and our creations. If that is the choice we wish to make, let’s at least be aware that we have chosen it ourselves instead of mindlessly pushing the button and vegetating in front of the TV for several hours of every day (choosing by default).

Be proactive. You choose where you place your focus; be aware of your ability to choose and use your choice to create mindfully … see in your head the reality you wish to inhabit and contribute to … remove your attention if your focus doesn’t enhance your goals and move you along the path you wish to travel. Be aware of the choices you make. Be aware of where you are focusing your attention and how that focus impacts your life.

Visualization Exercise

I begin this session as I have so many others, sitting in a comfortable chair and breathing deeply several times to relax my body and quiet the tumult of my mind. When I am ready, I say St. Francis’s Prayer slowly adjusting my breath to breath out when thinking the words, “Where there is hatred” and inhale on the words, “Let me sow love” … continuing this pattern throughout the prayer.

When I am finished, I again see the uncountable whirlpools of black, sooty negativity being sucked out of the uninhabited courthouse in Los Angeles. I feel that it is early morning; there is very little traffic. The courthouse grounds are deserted, but soon people begin to arrive. They are all dressed in various colors and make their way towards the patio directly in front of the building. There is a street vendor setting up his cart there. His cart is full of sunflowers. As each person enters the area, he goes to the vendor and collects a sunflower and retreats behind the rope barriers erected to keep the entrance to the area clear of any loiterers. When they arrive, each turns and holds his sunflower in front of him. The large, bright yellow blooms erase all differences between the people as they collect and form a sea of sunflowers in the courtyard.

The atmosphere is quiet and respectful as the people gather and await the arrival of the Jackson family in their huge SUV’s. As the family alight from their vehicles, they look around at all the people gathered holding their bright sunflowers and smile, knowing that these people have gathered here to support them as they sit through the harrowing ordeal they are about to embark upon. The last one out of the vehicles is Mrs. Katherine Jackson. She is helped from the vehicle by her sons and they slowly make their way towards the waiting entrance doors of the building. As they traverse the courtyard, she looks around and notices all the people holding her son’s favorite flower. She thinks about the sunflower, always lifting its face in the sun’s direction, turning and following the sun’s path as it travels across the sky on its daily rounds … and smiles.

I close my meditation by holding my hands in the ‘Namaste’ position and touching my thumbs to my forehead three times in honor of you, my Beloved. As I perform this ending ritual, I visualize you very clearly returning the gesture. I whisper, “I love you.”

Jan – April 16, 2011

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April 2, 2011 through April 9, 2011

You know, my Dear One, I have been attempting some form of meditation for well over 30 years. When I was in my twenties, I took a course in Transcendental Meditation ™ and received a mantra … and I remember that mantra to this day, but I never knew what it meant. And I don’t feel I was very successful. I would sit in a full lotus position and struggle to keep my mind from wandering away from my mantra … and would feel guilty … or stupid … or chastise myself for my lack of discipline every time it did anyway.

Through the years, I’ve wanted to begin a spiritual practice, but always found some impediment. Either I wasn’t breathing properly or I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering away and, then, I would start worrying about why my mind wouldn’t quiet down and let me feel some success or I would have an itch that I had to scratch or I would have to sneeze in the middle of trying to center myself or cough or clear my throat while I was trying to keep my mind calm. It was always something.

[Michael laughs.] Why are you making it so hard? But,yeah, that is so typical and, believe it or not, you are not alone in feeling defeated by all the distractions you’ve described. We’ve all been told that there is a ‘right’ way (and, therefore, of course, there is a ‘wrong’ way) to do this. There isn’t. It just isn’t true. Period.

This is the most natural thing in the world … because you are taking a moment from your busy human experience with its cares and demands and worries and trials … and returning your focus to your natural state; we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. It should not be so fraught with irrelevant judgments.

For hundreds of years, we’ve been told that in order to achieve enlightenment we need to live a monastic life … or isolate ourselves on a mountaintop … or twist ourselves into shapes that the human body was just not designed to assume … or eat only nuts and twigs. It’s just not true. If you do all of those things without love and joy and gratitude, you are just a celibate, lonely, hungry contortionist. [Michael laughs.] What good is that?

The result of that kind of thinking is that people desire to begin a spiritual program and try to [let’s say] sit in a lotus position … and they find that it is not only uncomfortable for them, but it hurts … so, they are concentrating all their mental power on staying in a position that hurts for twenty minutes to half an hour. If they succeed in ignoring the physical pain for that long, they pat themselves on the back for their discipline when they’ve never entered a calm, loving, healing space.  If they don’t succeed they berate themselves for their lack of discipline and toughness … and eventually they give up the entire spiritual practice because they believe that the spiritual practice hinges on the physical position. Who wants to cause themselves pain for fifteen or twenty minutes? Of course, they don’t feel they have had any success in their spiritual practice; so they tell themselves that they’re ‘just not good at it.’ They’ve spent the entire time trying to ignore their pain.

Or they try to follow any of the thousands of breathing techniques out there and can’t do it past the first five breaths so they give up the entire spiritual practice because they have been told all along that there is a ‘right’ way and a ‘wrong’ way to meditate or pray and they judge their level of spirituality based on non-spiritual minutiae. Of course, their spiritual journey ends right there because they find themselves short of breath, the most basic human need.

This doesn’t have to be that hard! I think it all began when masters felt that they had to keep the ‘secrets’ of their spiritual lives to be shared only with ‘initiates’ or ‘pupils’ who had ‘committed’ their lives to following them … spiritual practices were held aloof from the common man … the peasants and workers who fed those masters from the sweat of their brows. It’s nonsense.

All you are doing is returning to your natural state.

Okay, Beloved … so, let me see if I’ve got this straight. Position is not important, right?


It is not necessary for my DNA to be half-pretzel?

[Michael laughs out loud.] Nope

But breathing is important, isn’t it?

Oh yeah. Deep breaths help you to center yourself and send a message to your body to relax. You can’t be tied in knots when you are practicing deep cleansing breaths. Just taking a few nice deep breaths can defuse whatever tension or worry has you in its grip.

One of the things that a lot of women (especially) need to practice is breathing from the diaphragm … because you have been taught to hold your stomach muscles tight all your life to have a flat stomach and appear thinner and more attractive. When inhaling correctly, your diaphragm should expand first … like a balloon being filled with air or water … and then your lungs … in an ‘out’ and ‘up’ sensation … in other words, your abdomen should inflate outward as you inhale and then your torso should get taller as you fill your lungs. When exhaling, empty the lungs first and then the diaphragm … in other words the sensation is reversed … your torso shrinks and your abdomen contracts.  Men have an easier time with this because they don’t have years and years of conditioning to overcome. But a lot of women have been breathing improperly since the cradle.

But even that is not the important thing and just complicates the issue. Adults are so good at taking simple, basic, elementary things and making them more complicated than they have to be. Children don’t do this. Approach these exercises ‘with a child’s heart.’ A child attempts something and if he doesn’t succeed, he laughs it off and tries again later. If he is not judged harshly by his significant others and authority figures for his imperfect attempt, he doesn’t judge himself. He doesn’t say ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m not holy enough’ or ‘I’m not spiritual enough.’ He makes a game of it, learns by playing with a light-hearted, who-cares attitude. This is the openness you need to bring to these exercises. This is the attitude of fun and joy you need to infuse into your practice. Don’t make it so serious … bring laughter and love into the space.

Position isn’t important; breathing technique isn’t important. It’s also not important whether you ‘see’ the image you are trying to visualize in Technicolor … or black and white … or clearly … or at all. The important thing is that by concentrating on whatever image you have chosen to assist you in your efforts with love and joy and healing intent in your heart you are doing two things:

First, you are changing the environment … your own personal, internal environment … as well as the universal environment (also known in psychological jargon as ‘the collective unconscious’, to which your personal environment is a contributing factor.) By concentrating your thoughts on LOVE instead of on the negative molecules (emotions), you are giving more strength (attention) to … and increasing the number of … the healing molecules. At the same time, you are weakening the negative emotions in your own personal internal atmosphere (by removing your attention) which has to affect the universal environment (collective unconscious).

That wasn’t very clear, was it? Okay … let’s see if we can fix it.

Science is discovering some very interesting facts, one of which pertains to quantum physics. Experiments in an atomic collider have shown that atoms appear (become visible) and disappear (become invisible) … wink in and out of ‘reality’ … according to whether or not someone is paying attention to them. In other words, focusing your attention on a thing can move that thing from the invisible, spiritual Field of All Possibilities into the world of physical manifestation.

This is how I moved all the songs that I left you all from the spiritual, invisible Field of All Possibilities. I focused my attention on hearing those melodies and beats and harmonies, making it an intense laser beam of intention, and plucked them out of the spiritual field that surrounds us all. They were already there! They just needed my attention to become ‘real.’

Therefore, ‘focus’ is the most powerful of the weapons in your arsenal for creating change in your world!

One of the reasons that some of the children in the hospitals I visited … or who were my guests at Neverland … were healed of their illnesses illustrates the point I was trying to make. One of the main side effects of any serious illness is the feeling of helplessness … the feeling that there is nothing ‘I can do to change my circumstances.’ Children, especially, are victims of this side effect because they are powerless in so much of their lives. So, I taught them how to visualize the cells that were making them ill as a specific color and used the visual of PacMan (a nearly universally-recognized game with which most children are familiar) going in and eating up all those colored cells.

The first benefit of this visualization was that it took the kid’s mind off (removed his focus from) the feeling ‘there’s nothing I can do’ in his situation … which is a self-perpetuating negative spiral … and gave him hope to focus his attention on. The second thing it did was give him a tool with which he could help himself … he didn’t have to depend on the adults all around him … the doctors and nurses and his parents; this was something he controlled when the rest of his life was out of control. The third thing it did was to allow the child to have fun, even those who were too sick to hold the game console in their hands. They could do this in their minds. Fun is an emotion that brings focus and playfulness and laughter and imagination into any situation … which diverts the child’s attention from his own internally-negative environment and switches the focus into more positive intention.

But it also has a major bio-chemical effect for the organism which has turned on itself by creating the child’s illness to begin with. These bio-chemical effects are not fully understood by our science at this time. Laughter and fun releases a surge of “happy” chemicals within the brain which filter down through the entire organism, changing the internal atmosphere and surrounding the “unhappy” chemicals produced by the disease, itself. These “happy” chemicals have a calming, soothing, healing impact on the organism. And sometimes, not often enough, but sometimes, the child got better. I would have wanted all of them healed.

Second you are forming intention … and there is nothing on earth that can stop intention from impacting your own mind and your own soul and, by extension, the world soul. Intention is the steam-roller of creation … the earthmover of reality. It is the work horse that gets the job done.

I’ve told you before in these conversations, when you arrive here on this side of the never-ending stream of life, you will find that you will be creating your own world (as you are on the physical side of life but with much more immediacy), traveling at the speed of thought, being fully present in more than one place at a time, and comforting more than one person at a time. And all of it is done by intention. Intention is not only the name of the game … it’s the only game in town. So, it would be good for all of you to practice before you get here … and that’s what we’re going to be doing in this installment.

My thanks to Debbie, again, for the beautiful graphic.

Visualization #2 – Begin date March 28, 2011

Once again, I begin by sitting comfortably and taking several deep, cleansing breaths. Then I sense I am in a long hallway with a lot of rooms branching from this one central corridor closed off by doors. Each door bears a plaque. These appear to be offices and conference rooms, plainly decorated … no really fancy furniture. Everything has a kind of gray or industrial feel to it … gray tables and chairs and desks.

The hallway appears to be deserted except for one man dressed in a work uniform jumpsuit about halfway down the hall and he is stooped over a big broom and sweeping. As his broom moves, a black, sooty-like substance is raised into the air. As I near him, he turns and looks at me. It is you, Beloved, but dressed in very plain work clothes. You are carrying a broom in your hands and sweeping up the hallway! When you look at me, you say, “I’ve been waiting for you. I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty.”

As you are sweeping, this greasy, black sooty-looking material hovers in the air … like black coal dust … and, somehow, I know that this material represents the negative detritus of years of hatred and vengeance and corruption and violence and dishonesty and anger and outright lies that this building has seen within its walls … the energy of negativity that coats the walls and ceilings and floors and forms a pall over everyone who enters. And we are here to “sweep up” this contagion to make the place sanctified to host the Spirit of Truth.

The clouds of sooty looking material form little whirlwinds and tornadoes … like leaves that are blown in a brisk wind on a fall day … and are sucked through the roof and out of the building … as if there were a giant vacuum cleaner hose positioned above the building. Suddenly, I am outside the building, watching the whirlwinds rise through the roof and through the atmosphere and away from the building and the Earth, where they are purified.

When I return to the interior corridor, you look at me again and say, “I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. Are you? We are on the top floor. We have a lot of work to do and not much time.”

At the conclusion of this speech, you hand me a mop and a broom and smile a piercing smile.

Yes, as you and I did in our last conversation, if you want to invite something new into your life, you have to make space for it. You want to invite dreams and imaginative play and visualization back into your heart, so we had to rid it of the idea that only fear could reside there. To invite love into your own heart (represented by the building you saw), you need to clean out the anger, judgment, hate, worry, irritations, annoyance and resentments which have held you back in the past. This is a very important step and shouldn’t be overlooked.

You’re inviting the most important guest to come and reside within you; Love is just another name for God. There is no more important guest. You don’t want Love sleeping on a dirty couch infested with the bedbugs of greed, do you? You wouldn’t expect him to eat from plates filthy with the caked on grease of hatred and ridicule, would you? Or to eat from silverware that retained the greasy residue of yesterday’s meal of judgment and gossip? The Spirit of Love can’t reside in a room that is cluttered and full of years of anger and blame and dishonesty. There’s no room for him there.

When you have cleaned up the negative emotions within your own organism, we need to remove the pollution from the courthouse in Los Angeles. Can you imagine the unhappiness and fear and angry thoughts and words, the lies that building has seen? Can you imagine the corruption and miscarriage of justice that has occurred within those hallways and courtrooms? All of those energies are still hovering there, latching onto hearts and dimming the flame of love as people enter the building, throwing a black cloud over anything good that might come out of there. We need to give it a good spring cleaning.

I know what it’s like to be treated like a criminal. My arms were handcuffed behind my back roughly … they were not gentle with me because of my exalted status. The handcuffs bit into my wrists and my shoulder was dislocated from the way they pulled my arms back. I was locked in a filthy restroom which had been decorated in early ‘pig sty,’ smelling of human urine and feces. The toilet was crammed full of the voiding of previous occupants and paper towels so that it was totally unflushable; and the policemen jeered at me through the locked door and mocked me for forty-five minutes, laughing at me to humiliate me. That is the treatment criminals receive in this, the most democratic country in the world. It’s barbaric!  It’s similar to the way slaves were treated in earlier years of this country. Can you even imagine such cruelty or treating any human being, regardless of guilt or innocence, in such a way. I couldn’t!

Love cannot enter until that negative energy is neutralized.

Like anything in life, you need to prepare. During my physical life, I spent more time preparing to perform … rehearsing, checking the sound and lighting systems, going over the music and singing the instrumental parts so that the band members heard what I was hearing and could duplicate it, rehearsing some more, advising my support people, running scales with my vocal coach, getting the dancers and singers on the same page, rehearsing some more. Thomas Edison said, “Genius is ninety-nine percent perspiration and one percent inspiration.”

When you have guests for dinner, you spend more time preparing for their arrival … cleaning and cooking and setting the table … than you do in serving the meal. When you take your family on a vacation, you spend far more time planning your itinerary and booking the plane and hotel and stops along the way, getting all the tickets to all the sightseeing attractions than you do in actually seeing everything that you want to see while you’re gone. It’s the same way here.

We need to prepare your hearts so that you can send Love from a limitless, endless supply and we need to prepare the courthouse to bring Love and Truth into the space. This is the ‘nuts and bolts’ stage of the visualization process.

Beloved, today I went outside on break and I was listening to the song I Have This Dream that a couple of my friends downloaded and sent me (thank you so much … you know who you are.)  Once again, I have to thank you. What a beautiful song!

We are here
Then we’re gone
In the end
Only love lives on
So take a moment
While you can
To stop one heart from breaking

I’ve felt peace
And I’ve felt pain
Every generation just seems to pass the blame
It’s up to us
To make a change
We’re halfway to tomorrow

I have this dream
Which I believe
We are children from a distant family
Oh oh
Every child who’s born
Needs to believe that he belongs
I have this dream.

Anyway, I sat on a concrete wall outside the building and closed my eyes while this song was playing in my earphones. It was a lovely day, sunny and relatively warm, so I just closed my eyes and sat quietly soaking in the beautiful sunshine and warm breeze. I said St. Francis’s Prayer and almost immediately after completing it, I had a very clear picture of you in my mind. You were levitating cross-legged at my eye level which was, perhaps, three feet off the ground and about the same distance away from me; you were wearing your usual clothes of black pants and white silk shirt open, it’s tails blowing in the breeze, with a white t-shirt beneath it. Your eyes were closed and your hands were resting in your lap, with your wrists on your knees.

There was a beam of golden, shimmering light shining from your heart towards mine … like when your eyes are almost closed and you are staring at the flame of a candle and a little, tiny shaft of candlelight dances towards you … and this light was warm and so beautiful. I just wanted to sit there forever with this beam approaching my heart. When it did touch my heart, it reversed itself and we had this beautiful beam of golden, sparkly light suspended between us with energy passing back and forth along it for a few minutes. Suddenly a clear, colorless prism, shaped like a pyramid, materialized and hovered, revolving between us, directly in the line of this beam of golden light. When the beam passed through the clear prism, it splintered into very separate and distinct laser sharp beams and refracted in different directions, scattering this golden, sparkling light everywhere. I had a thought that it was reaching out for all the notes in our symphony who I did not picture, but felt that they, too, were caught up in this suspended moment of sharing and communion.

This visualization didn’t last long, but it was a very clear and powerful image. It made me sad when I had to go back into the building to continue with my workday, but so grateful that you had been there to share that moment of communion with me.

Good, I wondered if you had picked up on the picture I had fed you! This is a wonderful visual that you can take with you anywhere you have to go. You can use it with people at work to send them love and they don’t even need to know you are doing it. It’s quick and it’s meaningful and has a variety of uses. It shows our Oneness in this specific context … or your Oneness with anyone that you meet. It uses the energy of love to focus healing upon whatever or whomever the beams from the prism fall.

The pyramid shape has always held special meaning from the earliest times, representing a beam of sunlight descending to earth (which can symbolize God’s involvement and engagement with His human children … or angels descending to assist humanity and keep someone safe) … as well as a portal or pathway for mankind to climb and enter the heavenly realms because the energy flows both ways. The light gathers in the crystal pyramid until it reaches a state of ‘critical mass’ … then it is dispersed or splintered into laser beams of Love energy piercing sky and ground and water and people … whatever passes in its path. Those laser beams show the importance of ‘focus’ which we talked about earlier. They are clearly defined, with sharp edges, piercing the darkness to illuminate whatever they touch. They are like the laser lights at one of my shows.

When you are feeling ‘scattered’ or ‘unfocused’ … when you experience doubt or fear that our Oneness is real … when you are having difficulty calming your mind or feel yourself becoming embroiled in the negativity that the world is immersed in … when you feel that I have abandoned you or that I have stopped talking to you as I have in these conversations, you can re-focus your energy by sending your golden LOVE light (centered in the area of your heart) into the crystal pyramid to bring sharper definition to our connection.

What a marvelous teacher you are. I’ve gone from being a 61-year-old woman who hadn’t been able to conjure a mental picture for fifty-five years two weeks ago … to sitting outside for fifteen minutes and closing my eyes … and being fed such a lovely image by a master at visualization. I am so blessed and grateful, Beloved!

God bless you! You’re a natural. You all are!

But let’s be careful! I’ve already got people in my life who are hunting for the latest fashion in straightjackets for my Christmas present this year.

[Michael laughs.]

Jan – April 7, 2011

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